I tried to show my kids the Jimmy Hoffa website, but kept getting a malformed HTML exception.
Rick Astley will let you borrow any DVD from his Pixar collection, EXCEPT one
He's never gonna give you "Up"
A group of friends were walking around the beach looking to find a hotel to stay but they were all booked except for one, one of them said:
"Guys, that's our last resort."
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
Dad says, "I can speak every language except Greek!"
Child asks him a question in French. Dad replies, "Hmmm. That sounds Greek to me."
I listen to every type of music except heavy metal
Because heavy metals are toxic.
(I -22f- have created this joke when i was 15, I was waiting for an opportunity to disgust people with it. So here you go reddit lol)
Researchers Say King Tut Was Exceptional At At The Trumpet
But If You Ask Me, He Was Just Tootin’ Common
How can you prove that the "I" before "E" except after "C" doesn't always apply ?
Know your ABC's kids (Except for Guwucci, he sucks)
Knew an bird watcher who lived so long he saw every bird except one. On his deathbed he was asked if he thought he used his time well
He said he had no Egretes
Did you know that Shakespeare wasn't just an amazing playwright? He also made exceptional wigs!
His shop name? Toupee or Not Toupee.
I decided to go on a vacation with my family. Almost all the hotel rooms were booked except one
It was our last resort...
One of my friends told me he was opening a clothing store that sold everything except for hats.
I thought he was pulling my leg, but when I asked him, he told me "Yeah man it's true, no cap."
I’m in great shape except for my pudgy midsection.
I was in the bar last night when the waitress yells "Does anyone know CPR?"
I yelled back "I know all those letters!" Everyone laughed, well except this one guy.
I started going to the gym in my tuxedo, everything went well except the weight lifting...
I like all Ghibli movies, except for Howl's Moving Castle.
I went to cake shop and all the cakes were £1 except one which was £3...
I asked the shopkeeper why and he said "That's Madeira cake"
I'm holding a 17th Century Party, and all the Enlightenment thinkers can swing by - except one.
I recently visited Germany...
Absolutely loved it except for one thing: the food was the wurst.
It was around Christmas and I had bought gifts for everyone except my parents.
I had no idea what to get them. But after a long brainstorming I finally decided to get the a new fridge.
It's was actually so satisfying to see their faces lit up as they opened it.
Except when he's with a gun.....then he'd be gunning
The swordfish has no natural predators to fear...
....except the penfish, which is supposed to be even mightier.
Some jerk pointed at the butt of an exceptionally furry donkey and asked me what it was.
I said "That's a hairy ass ass ass, ass!"
Every Zodiac sign has it’s own significant hairstyle
I heard the catering on the Star Wars movies was exceptional. An admirable snackbar.
I passed all my courses except for Greek mythology.
That has always been my Achilles’ elbow.
I went to the bee keepers to buy some bees. All the bees had price tags on them except one.
My wife’s body is perfect in every way except that she wears glasses.
It’s okay though. I’m willing to look past that.
All letters of the alphabet except for c have been declared hate symbols by the anti defamation league. Why?
Due to Covid-19 we're experiencing an exceptionally high call volume...
... please hold while we turn our phones down.
When I die my wish is to be cremated except for my funny bone
That way my humerus with my family forever.
I am a unique hybrid of two exceptional athletes. My mom was all-American sprinter and my dad qualified for the Olympic marathon.
So naturally, I have been genetically gifted with the ability to run relatively slowly over very short distances.
They say I before E except after C.
All teachers should know the I before E except after C rule.
Unless they teach science.
Cleaning your cat's litter box is a lot like sifting gold except for 1 thing
the prize is a lot crappier...literally.
Me: When I went to buy hotdogs on Memorial Day weekend they were all gone except these little ones.
My wife: Guess it was a Memorial Day for hotdogs then.
My son got good grades in all his classes except Greek Mythology
That's always been his Achilles Elbow
I used to have a calendar that was normal except September 11 was made of sandpaper.
I named my dog Achilles.
He’s pretty smart, except when I say heel he plays dead.
You can say 'hi' to everyone on a plane except one...
Two wind turbines were standing around, complete silence except for the wind, when one asks the other, "Hey, what kind of music do like?" The other one thinks for a few revolutions and says,
"I'm a really big heavy metal fan."
Most of my relatives are police marksmen, except for my grandad who was a bank robber.
He died recently surrounded by his family.
Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except for one.
He’s never gonna give you Up.
I before E except after C doesn't always apply...
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