I tried to show my kids the Jimmy Hoffa website, but kept getting a malformed HTML exception.

No <Body>

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/denzien
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2017
🚨︎ report
Rick Astley will let you borrow any DVD from his Pixar collection, EXCEPT one

He's never gonna give you "Up"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
🚨︎ report
A group of friends were walking around the beach looking to find a hotel to stay but they were all booked except for one, one of them said:

"Guys, that's our last resort."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mental_Shine8098
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.

I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Linkocomic
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Dad says, "I can speak every language except Greek!"

Child asks him a question in French. Dad replies, "Hmmm. That sounds Greek to me."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/roonerspize
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
I listen to every type of music except heavy metal

Because heavy metals are toxic.

(I -22f- have created this joke when i was 15, I was waiting for an opportunity to disgust people with it. So here you go reddit lol)

πŸ‘︎ 202
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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Researchers Say King Tut Was Exceptional At At The Trumpet

But If You Ask Me, He Was Just Tootin’ Common

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Robhocker
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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How can you prove that the "I" before "E" except after "C" doesn't always apply ?

Through science.

πŸ‘︎ 146
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Know your ABC's kids (Except for Guwucci, he sucks)
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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Knew an bird watcher who lived so long he saw every bird except one. On his deathbed he was asked if he thought he used his time well

He said he had no Egretes

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Feral1991
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
I decided to go on a vacation with my family. Almost all the hotel rooms were booked except one

It was our last resort...

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DOU8LEJ480
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
One of my friends told me he was opening a clothing store that sold everything except for hats.

I thought he was pulling my leg, but when I asked him, he told me "Yeah man it's true, no cap."

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MostWheatyOne
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
I’m in great shape except for my pudgy midsection.

It’s my core weakness.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/malker84
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
I started going to the gym in my tuxedo, everything went well except the weight lifting...

Is not my strong suit.

πŸ‘︎ 245
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πŸ‘€︎ u/walkingnottoofast
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I like all Ghibli movies, except for Howl's Moving Castle.

It got old quickly.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shy_Gal_Skye
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to cake shop and all the cakes were Β£1 except one which was Β£3...

I asked the shopkeeper why and he said "That's Madeira cake"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jambo2016
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm holding a 17th Century Party, and all the Enlightenment thinkers can swing by - except one.

Immanuel Kan't.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Supah_Cole
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I recently visited Germany...

Absolutely loved it except for one thing: the food was the wurst.

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlejandroPiedra
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
🚨︎ report
It was around Christmas and I had bought gifts for everyone except my parents.

I had no idea what to get them. But after a long brainstorming I finally decided to get the a new fridge.

It's was actually so satisfying to see their faces lit up as they opened it.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_joshi_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Except when he's with a gun.....then he'd be gunning
πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattloKei
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Some jerk pointed at the butt of an exceptionally furry donkey and asked me what it was.

I said "That's a hairy ass ass ass, ass!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAmHere420
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Every Zodiac sign has it’s own significant hairstyle

except Cancer

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Echo_The_God
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I heard the catering on the Star Wars movies was exceptional. An admirable snackbar.
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DalbergTheKing
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I passed all my courses except for Greek mythology.

That has always been my Achilles’ elbow.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to the bee keepers to buy some bees. All the bees had price tags on them except one.

It was a freebie.

πŸ‘︎ 825
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BenisbacK_1900
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife’s body is perfect in every way except that she wears glasses.

It’s okay though. I’m willing to look past that.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DBones90
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
All letters of the alphabet except for c have been declared hate symbols by the anti defamation league. Why?

They are "not c".

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ultraguardrail
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Due to Covid-19 we're experiencing an exceptionally high call volume...

... please hold while we turn our phones down.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jimfro
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
When I die my wish is to be cremated except for my funny bone

That way my humerus with my family forever.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fairlybludgeoned
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I am a unique hybrid of two exceptional athletes. My mom was all-American sprinter and my dad qualified for the Olympic marathon.

So naturally, I have been genetically gifted with the ability to run relatively slowly over very short distances.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
They say I before E except after C.

WEIRD rule, huh?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ColaNaught
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
All teachers should know the I before E except after C rule.

Unless they teach science.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freerider020
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Cleaning your cat's litter box is a lot like sifting gold except for 1 thing

the prize is a lot crappier...literally.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/decaknight9000
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: When I went to buy hotdogs on Memorial Day weekend they were all gone except these little ones.

My wife: Guess it was a Memorial Day for hotdogs then.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsaSnap
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to have a calendar that was normal except September 11 was made of sandpaper.

That was a rough day.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My son got good grades in all his classes except Greek Mythology

That's always been his Achilles Elbow

πŸ‘︎ 314
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I named my dog Achilles.

He’s pretty smart, except when I say heel he plays dead.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/atruthtellingliar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Two wind turbines were standing around, complete silence except for the wind, when one asks the other, "Hey, what kind of music do like?" The other one thinks for a few revolutions and says,

"I'm a really big heavy metal fan."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/centstwo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
🚨︎ report
You can say 'hi' to everyone on a plane except one...

Jack

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kortbug2000
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Most of my relatives are police marksmen, except for my grandad who was a bank robber.

He died recently surrounded by his family.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1963Jan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Ran into Rick Astley. He gave me his entire Pixar collection, except one of them.

He started dancing and said, "Never gonna give you 'Up'."

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Loosing weight is a peice of cake!

Just don’t pick it up

Edit: piece I before E except after c

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gowry0
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except for one.

He’s never gonna give you Up.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tmarsee530
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I before E except after C doesn't always apply...

isn't that wEIrd

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report

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