I've placed simultaneous orders for a rotisserie chicken on Uber Eats, and for an egg omelette on DoorDash
Looks like we're about to find out, once and for all, what comes first!
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︎ Apr 06 2021
A sausage says to the egg "You know, after they burn us up on that hot pan, they'll stab us with forks and cut us with their sharp knives...
The egg says to the sausage "wow, amazing - a talking sausage!"
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︎ Mar 20 2021
I ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon.
π︎ 7
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︎ Feb 17 2021
Why do birds sit on their eggs?
Because they donβt have chairs
π︎ 12
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︎ Feb 24 2021
My favorite Christmas breakfast is Eggs Benedict served on a hubcap.
There's no place like chrome for the hollandaise.
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︎ Dec 10 2020
i ordered a chiken and an egg on craigslist...
π︎ 6
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︎ Nov 28 2020
Should I stock up on eggs before the next shut down?
I am having an eggs essential crisis.
π︎ 11
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︎ Jul 21 2020
Can we not make any egg related dad jokes on this sub
π︎ 41
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︎ Apr 12 2020
Why did the chef serve eggs Benedict on a hubcap?
Because thereβs no plate like chrome for the hollandaise
π︎ 13
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︎ Jul 09 2020
I heard there is a recall on Caviar, but not all types of fish eggs are affected.
Itβs a sturgeon general warning.
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 20 2020
For Christmas morning, I'm going to make Eggs Benedict, and I'm going to serve them on hubcaps from a 1962 Ford...
...because there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise.
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︎ Dec 22 2019
I'm gonna serve my kids Eggs Benedict on plates made from hub caps this up coming Christmas. Why?
There's no Plate like Chrome for the Hollandaise.
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︎ Nov 07 2019
How do you call a man who can cook an egg on his head?
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 06 2019
What happens when you drop a duck egg on the ground?
π︎ 77
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︎ Jun 16 2019
What do you get when a chicken lays its eggs on top of a hill?
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 06 2019
I find it ridiculous that a restaurant would serve Eggs Benedict on a hubcap
But there really is no plate like chrome for the hollandaise
Edit: place to plate, credit to /u/wonderquads
π︎ 100
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︎ May 22 2018
This pun I made on a single egg carton photo
π︎ 4
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︎ Apr 24 2019
I ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon today...
I wonder which will come first..
π︎ 14
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︎ Jun 17 2019
Where Do Eggs Like To Go On Vacation?
π︎ 7
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︎ Feb 16 2019
Everyone is liking a picture of an egg on instagram to beat Kylie Jenner but ...
... wait for it. In a few months it will turn out to be just another chick.
Context
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︎ Jan 15 2019
They told me I was too old to hunt for Easter eggs, but the jokes on them!
π︎ 4
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︎ Apr 14 2017
Fellow Dads, donβt forget that itβs best to serve eggs Benedict on a hubcap this time of year
We all know thereβs no plates like chrome, for the hollandaise
π︎ 55
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︎ Dec 23 2017
What does a Frenchman tell an egg that's trespassing on his property?
Get Εuf my yard.
Explanation:
Εuf if French for egg.
π︎ 5
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︎ Jan 04 2017
On Christmas Eve, three eggs, named Dora, Moira, and Gloria, sit in a chicken nest...
Suddenly, Dora hatches and the mama hen says proudly, "Dora in the nest; Day One!"
Then, on Christmas, Moira hatches. The mama hen says, "Dora in the nest; Day Two! Moira in the nest; Day One!"
Dora is confused, and asks, "Well, what about our other sister?"
The mama hen explains, "Gloria In Eggshell, Sis; Day Oh."
π︎ 6
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︎ Jun 25 2018
I invented a better egg-beater, but I couldn't find any investors willing to take a chance on my product.
They didn't want to be involved in any "whisky business"
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 04 2017
To egg on - five letters?
π︎ 2
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︎ Nov 25 2017
I figured out why human eggs go for so much money on Craigslist.
It's like they always say, sex cells.
π︎ 10
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︎ Apr 05 2017
Egg on the pan, egg on the plate
I (husband) am good at making egg dishes for breakfast. Me and the wifey were talking about the first time I met her family, when I made them an omelette with goat cheese and spinach. They were all very impressed.
Wifey: "My parents never cooked like that when I was growing up. For them, it was just egg on the pan, egg on the plate."
Me: "I can see how that would be unpleasant, especially if they didn't crack the shells first."
π︎ 18
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︎ Oct 19 2013
Why should you always eat eggs benedict at home on Christmas?
Because there's no place like home for the hollandaise.
π︎ 22
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︎ Dec 08 2020
I discovered eggs Benedict is best served on a vintage hubcap.
Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.
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︎ Jan 27 2020
I ordered a chicken and an egg on amazon.
π︎ 43
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︎ Feb 19 2020
I've ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon.
π︎ 15
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︎ Feb 21 2020
I ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon.
π︎ 42
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︎ Oct 19 2019
I ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon
π︎ 261
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︎ Apr 06 2019
Why do birds sit on their eggs?
Because they donβt have chairs
π︎ 9
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︎ Jan 21 2020
Why are eggs Benedict best served on a hubcap?
Because there is no place like chrome for the Hollandaise.
π︎ 10
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︎ Dec 18 2019
Why were the eggs Benedict served on a shiny platter on Christmas morning?
Because there is no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.
π︎ 2k
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︎ Dec 23 2016
During Christmas I like to cook Eggs Benedict and serve them on a Hubcap...
because thereβs no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 14 2019
I served eggs Benedict on a hubcap,
because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.
π︎ 486
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︎ Nov 19 2017
Why did the chicken sit on itβs eggs?
Because chickens donβt have chairs!
π︎ 2
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︎ Oct 05 2019
Why should you always serve Eggs Benedict on a hubcap?
Because thereβs no plate like chrome for the hollandaise
π︎ 90
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︎ Aug 30 2018
I only eat eggs Benedict on a hubcap.
Thereβs no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.
π︎ 12
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︎ Dec 23 2018
It's best to serve eggs Benedict on a hubcap this time of year,
because there is no place like chrome for the Hollandaise.
Merry Christmas
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︎ Dec 25 2017
Each year I serve my Christmas guests Eggs Benedict plated on hubcaps...
...because there's no place like chrome for the hollandaise.
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 01 2016
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