Nest puns

Hey I was curious of some of the best puns you can come up with involving the word "nest"! the best I've come up with is "nestquick" thanks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattTheKFM
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2016
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What do you call a prostitute that works the crows nest on a pirate ship?

LAND HOE!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SassyTurtlebat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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One Flu Over the Cuckoo's Nest
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WolfieMario
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
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What did redditor say when he stumbled upon a mouse nest with 69 of them there?

Ah, Mice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KevinK15
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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Did you hear the one about the guy who escaped prison covered in wasps nests?

He broke out in hives.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/McStankee110
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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birds nest in a tree
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neefhond
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
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An old sailor fell from the crows nest.

An old sailor fell from the crows nest onto the deck. He survived. He was used to hardships.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Intagvalley
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
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Saw 4 baby birds in a nest, 3 were close together beaks wide open and squawking for attention. The 4th was off to the side beak closed head down..

I'm no bird expert but I'm guessing 3 females and 1 male.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/manicmoose13
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
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On Christmas Eve, three eggs, named Dora, Moira, and Gloria, sit in a chicken nest...

Suddenly, Dora hatches and the mama hen says proudly, "Dora in the nest; Day One!"

Then, on Christmas, Moira hatches. The mama hen says, "Dora in the nest; Day Two! Moira in the nest; Day One!"

Dora is confused, and asks, "Well, what about our other sister?"

The mama hen explains, "Gloria In Eggshell, Sis; Day Oh."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greedantoid
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2018
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So There's A Bee's Nest In The Front Garden

My mum called a beekeeper, who was keen to come and take them away before something bothered the nest. So keen, he set off from 20 miles away at half nine at night. My dad's comment?

"Well of course he's keen, he's got some freebies!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkclone24
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2016
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Just watched One Flew Over the Cookoo's Nest

That movie was totally mental.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jewfrojay
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2018
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What happens when Mama Bird and Papa Bird Cuddle in the Nest?

A swallow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nailfunny
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2014
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The pollen basket or corbicula is part of the tibia on the hind legs of certain species of bees. They use the structure in harvesting pollen and returning it to the nest or hive.

The bees think that this ability is just the bee's knees.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nate601
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2015
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I hate Russian nesting dolls

They’re so full of themselves

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FrozenPyromaniac_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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I hate russian nesting dolls

They're so full of themself

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talcabus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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A man named Dave. Long joke!

A man named Dave comes home very drunk late at night...

So this guy has been drinking with his buddies all night and he's as drunk as a skunk, gets home, falls up the stairs, undresses and goes to bed next to his wife. He falls asleep and next thing he knows, bang, he dies and finds himself waiting at the pearly gates.

The guy refuses to believe this is happening, he says to St. Peter: "This can't be possible, I'm a healthy man! This is not the way I die. You have to let me return down there!"
The guy can see St. Peter looks like he's feeling sorry for him, but he tells him that unfortunately, there's no policy for allowing people back on Earth. The guy insists: "But come on, there's got to be something you can do! I'll put up with anything, really, as long as you let me go back down."
So St. Peters tells him: "Well really, there's just this one possibility: you can go back, but only as a hen. That's the only thing we can allow." The guy guesses that this really is his only cha

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kmaff90
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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I've never particularly liked those Russian nesting dolls...

They're so full of themselves!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWormaster
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
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I'm technically an uncle, but my niece laughed so...

Did you hear about the Cockatiel that was trying to find a new home for his family? He zipped back and forth everywhere, but couldn't find a good spot anywhere. Then he came across a bear, sleeping flat of his back with his mouth wide open. Not recognizing what it was, he thought the bear's mouth would be the perfect spot for a nest. He gathered his family and they all got to work building a new home for themselves, but then the bear woke up. Realizing what was going on, he politely informed them that he couldn't let them nest in his mouth. He hated to do it, but it was quite the bird den to bear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shatari
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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I just can't stand those Russian nesting dolls.

They are so full of themselves.

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πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
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My wife said she never saw the appeal of Russian nesting dolls...

...I told her "it's what's on the inside that counts."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwlThinkAboutIt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
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When a russian nesting doll makes a dad joke, nobody gets it.

Because they're all inside jokes.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
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Do you know why Russian dolls are so arrogant?

Because they are full of themselves

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pipoca-queimada
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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I have a problem with Russian Nesting Dolls

There's so full of themselves

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oneguy4
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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A rare sighting of the Russian nesting dog.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeMemeL0rd
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
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A captain and his crew. (Hopefully hasn’t been posted before lol)

Once upon a time there was a pirate captain who was the most amazing best captain a crew could ever ask for. His crew loved him more than anything and would do absolutely anything for him.

One day as they were sailing, a crew member In the crows nest shouts, β€œone ship off the port side!” Immediately the captain yells at his crew, β€œMen! Bring me my red shirt!”

Slightly confused, the men hesitate for a second and then hurry off to bring the captain his red shirt. Amazingly they win the battle!

The men are so happy and thankful their captain brought them safely through the battle they don’t even care why the captain wanted his red shirt.

A few months of sailing some more, again the man in the crows nest yells, β€œTwo ships off the port side!” Quickly the captain screams, β€œMen! Bring me my red shirt!” The crew doesn’t hesitate this time to get him his red shirt and what do you know? They win this battle too!!

The crew is astounded at their captains awesomeness!!! They honestly could n

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RecTym
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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There's a bunch of geese nesting in my neighborhood

It's quite a bird den dealing with them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wrneda02
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
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A Russian Nesting doll and a Barbie doll were having an argument about Ken, who they both liked.

The Russian nesting doll said "I've got so many more layers to me than you, honey."

Barbie didn't care though. It was a cheap shot, and as she pointed out, "At least I'm not hollow on the inside."

And Ken was laying her every damn night anyway, so the original statement wasn't strictly true.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2016
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Wood puns

https://preview.redd.it/6egcw39r98z21.png?width=1626&format=png&auto=webp&s=07fa82d96e5340d3eed13d4c4832de6dffccd97b

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyw7
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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I finally made my bucket list, more on it than I thought...

Mop bucket

Car washing bucket

Garden bucket

Ice bucket

Recycling bucket

Metal bucket

Decorating bucket

Nest of buckets

Small bucket

Orange bucket

Foldable bucket

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
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T-Rexes hunting for dinner

This is my dad's favorite dad joke.

A teenage T-Rex named Maynard and his father were out looking for dinner.

"Oh hey, dad! Look! A stegosaurus! That'd be good!"

"My Maynard son, no. That would be so hard to chew. There's so much armor there."

A little while later:

"Dad, check it. A big old nest of Pteranadons! Chicken tonight!"

"No, my Maynard son. They would fly too fast, and we cannot reach up there with our arms."

Finally, "Dad! Dad! Check it out! A herd of brontosaurus! It'd be so easy!"

"No, my Maynard son. Brontosaurus ribs take a long time to properly age before they're good eating. Everyone knows this."

The teenage T-Rex stomped and roared, "Daaad, what are we doing? There's stuff right here to eat! What the hell are you looking for, anyway?"

The elder T-Rex shook his head and said, "Carrion, my Maynard son."

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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Daughter made this thank you card for a speaker at her career day at school
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cat_water
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2017
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My girlfriend told me she hates the noise I make when she says something cute.

At least she's being aww-nest.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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Rabbit stew

I'm at a restaurant with my family and the waitress come to take our order. I get the rabbit stew and 20 minutes later, she brings it by. As she puts the dish down, my dad looks at her straight in the eye and says, " there seems to be a hare in that", while pointing at my dish. It took her a second, but as she got it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CURRYPOW3R
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2014
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Why does a chicken coop only have 2 doors?

Because if it had 3 doors and a nest it would be a hatchback.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
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The man who invented autocorrect has sadly passed away.

The funfair is nest work.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnydarko-
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
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for the 4th of july, here's a little known america fact: did you know that as the national bird, there’s a whole list of things that you can’t do to an eagle under federal law?

obviously you can't kill one, but you also can't relocate one from where it's living, cause an eagle nest to come to any harm, and the oddest part, as i'm not sure how they'd even track this, is there's even a bit in the law about infecting them with any communicable diseases?

but i suppose there's really no way around that being ill eagle

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
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I saw an article about people snorting chocolate powder for a rush.

They wanted a Quik high.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fluidlikewater
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2017
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These little birds started causing quite the ruckus

I tried quailing the disturbance with my shotgun, but I was just winging it. Better luck nest time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
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I hate Russian nesting dolls.

They’re so full of themselves.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SekariTwo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
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I hate those Russian nesting dolls.

They’re so full of themselves.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tooz75
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
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I hate Russian nesting dolls

There so full of themselves

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Feindish2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2017
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I hate Russian dolls.

They are so full of themselves.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2018
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