Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
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︎ Dec 13 2020
Effects of Corona
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︎ Dec 07 2020
I still experience long-lasting psychological effects from having a childhood friend that took offense at everything I did.
My doctor calls it Irritable Pal Syndrome.
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︎ Nov 15 2020
Doctors say some effects of COVID-19 may follow patients for life.
You could say it's a choronic disease.
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︎ Oct 26 2020
Recent studies are examining the effects of replacing birdbath water with alcohol
Its bird-gin-ing research.
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︎ Oct 27 2020
When people ask about my heritage, I tell them there is an unfortunate side effect of my mother being Italian and my father being Polish ....
Iβll make you an offer I canβt understand.
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︎ Oct 15 2020
Why do movie makers record laser gun sound effects in churches?
Because they go βpew pew pewβ.
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︎ Jul 23 2020
Keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect on the brain
Due to all the indoor fins.
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︎ Aug 10 2020
It took scientists 15 tries to create the perfect sleep aid. Attempts A-N had no effect..
But they concluded a Pill-O helped everyone sleep better
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︎ Jul 20 2020
I have a weird side-effect from Covid; it makes me want to grope an ethnic Belgian dwarf...
...I'm feeling a little Flemish.Β Β cough
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︎ Sep 11 2020
We know the effects of second hand smoke are terrible.
Does anyone have peer reviewed studies on the effects of minute hand smoke?
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︎ Aug 13 2020
Mary Pill Poppins Pharmaceutical just created a miracle drug that can cure any human of any disease. It's effectiveness is renowned while it's side effects are surprisingly minimal: thick layer of skin develops on the lips while rendering them dry, cracked and quite odorous.
Patients effected by this claim it's super callused fragile lips that smell like halitosis
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︎ May 29 2020
Scientists are studying the effect of drugs on various seabirds.
They're leaving no tern unstoned.
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︎ Apr 22 2020
There is a new found side effect of coronavirus.
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︎ Feb 28 2020
A person who studies how nut allergies effect the human body
Are they known as a Nutty Professor?
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︎ Nov 29 2019
What do you get when a Mandela effect believer misspells something?
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︎ Jul 09 2019
A conductor kissed a girl in his bus, police took the conductor to jail and gave him electric shocks but it had no effect. Why?
because he was a bad conductor.
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︎ Oct 26 2019
I tried explaining to my girlfriend what the effects of network packet loss were.
But I just couldn't get the message across.
Edit: I wish I knew more about networking so I could understand all these jokes.
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︎ Nov 01 2016
My wife was telling me about a new drug for ADHD. She said, "the side effects are worse than the symptoms!"
I replied, "The Simpson's is a pretty wholesome and entertaining cartoon. If the side effects are worse, then they can't be that bad."
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︎ Oct 18 2019
I was going to make a pun about Mass Effect...
...but I figure if I did, I'd be Asari.
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︎ Apr 17 2018
The other day I was reading that alcohol can have terrible effects on your wellbeing.
I immediately decided to give up reading
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︎ Jun 23 2019
What do you call a drug dealer who also warns you about its harmful effects?
A Harmacist (harm assist)
PS:- Sorry I am not high today.
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︎ Sep 09 2019
A side effect of gaining weight is often...
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︎ Jul 16 2019
I'm extremely interested in researching antibiotics and their effect upon diseases...
I guess you'd say I'm cure-ious.
Thanks ladies and germs! Tip your servers!
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︎ Jul 19 2019
Ornithologists have recently been studying if cannabis has any effect on seabirds...
Theyβve left no tern un-stoned.
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︎ Mar 02 2019
I used to be an expert in the Dunning-Kruger effect.
Then I started to learn more about it.
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︎ Aug 09 2018
The real effect of UV-light on parties [OC]
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︎ Nov 17 2018
What's an appropriate sound effect for a dad joke about wheat?
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︎ Mar 25 2019
After reading the negative effects of drinking and smoking..
Iβve decided to quit reading.
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︎ Jan 23 2019
According to a new report, adverse side effects from Botox injections occurred in a large number of people last year
None of them seemed surprised
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︎ Nov 25 2018
This foggy weather has had an effect on my ability to remember the alphabet
I remember A,B,C,D, and F but I misty
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︎ Nov 06 2018
Lizards are particularly responsive to the sedative effects of chamomileon tea
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︎ Nov 30 2017
Menopause has a very distinct effect.
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︎ Sep 08 2018
I have a Science Fair project on how music effects concentration and memory. Can any of you guys help me think of a punny or clever title?
If there's anything I'm terrible at, it's coming up with puns. Any help would be GREATLY appreciated!
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︎ Apr 14 2013
A bit of oil was floating in a puddle creating a swirly rainbow effect
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︎ Feb 23 2017
Got my gf with a delayed effect.
So last night we were brushing our teeth before going to bed, and I ask her "You know why eating a clock is a bad idea?"
She looks at me funny, because she knows what's coming.
"Because it's very time consuming."
She just rolls her eyes, and goes to bed. But because the joke was in English, and English isn't our first language, I think she didn't quite get it.
A minute after she lies down, I hear a loud groan coming out of bed, followed by "that was really, really lame, honey!"
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︎ Aug 06 2015
Why do we call unintended results of taking medications side effects, and not...
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︎ Jul 25 2016
What do we want? The Doppler Effect! When do we want it?
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︎ Jul 01 2015
I'm surprised you all aren't talking more about that drug with the side effect of making scalps wrinkled.
I mean, it's been making a LOT of head lines.
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︎ Feb 11 2017
People from the Netherlands smoke weed because a large part of their country is underneath the sea level. They are only trying to get "high" so that they can escape the effects of global warming.
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︎ May 13 2015
It took scientists 15 tries to create the perfect sleep aid. Attempts A-N had no effect..
But a Pill-O helped everyone sleep better.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 20 2020
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain because...
π︎ 11
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︎ Apr 23 2020
Scientist studying the effect of cannabis on seabirds, have left no tern unstoned.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Aug 15 2018
Keeping tropical fish at at home can have a calming effect on the brain.
Due to all the indoor fins.
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︎ Mar 04 2020
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
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︎ Dec 04 2019
Keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect on the brain
Due to all the indoor fins.
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 18 2019
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