Is the Capital of Kentucky pronounced Loo-iss-vil or Loo-ee-vil?

It is pronounced Frankfort.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 88
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/marycartlizer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 13 2015
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I once traveled to the Middle East, and suddenly, someone threw a rock at me.

I ran.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/csteinbergrules
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 21 2021
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A Brush with Death
πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/butlerbert23
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 11 2020
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Which beverage is the best, when you have COVID?

A Cough-ee

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/geek_gamer_7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 08 2021
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My mom says my dad was of Persian origin.

Ee-ran away when I was a child.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wasprobot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 30 2020
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DadHelp wanted: more variants for "interrupting cow" knock-knock joke to amuse kids

Everyone knows the interrupting cow knock knock joke but we like making up KKJs for other cows. Here are some of ours; please add more so I can continue to surprise and delight the young people near and dear to me. TIA!

(Obviously each joke goes "Knock knock" etc. I'll just write the "cow" part and the punchline)

  • French cow: le moo

  • Backwards cow: oom

  • Upside down cow: woo

  • Sad cow: moo hoo hoo

  • Ghost cow: moo-oo-oo-oooo

  • Police cow: moo ee oo ee oo ee oo

  • Cow on a motorbike: (make zooming moo)

  • Cow in disguise: Baa

  • Horse in disguise: Moo

  • Invisible cow: (quickly cover child's eyes) Moo

  • Inaudible cow:

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/A2S2020
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 08 2020
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What do we call a monster we can't find ?

Where wolf

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 25 2020
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What do sick people drink in the mornings?

Cough-eeβ˜•β˜•β˜•

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RSGaming0416
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 10 2020
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My stepdad at Buc-ees

Bucees is a huge truck stop/gas station/everything station in Texas. My stepdad and I walked up the counter to purchase what we had. Upon getting up to the counter, the cashier asks, "Got gas?" My stepdad looks at her and replies, "Nope. Actually, I feel pretty good today."

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cameron0208
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 17 2014
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Thanksgiving afterthoughts, anyone? instagram.com/p/BNN7YPIDv…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 107
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/big_dig69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2016
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My five-year-old came up with this one: "What does Daddy drink when he has a bad cough?"

"Coffee. Get it? Cough-ee."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 610
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Blinkle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 15 2017
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What did the sick person order at Starbucks?

Coughee

πŸ‘οΈŽ 57
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/imthaaatguy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 04 2018
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How is an amateur singer like someone carrying a basket of eggs?

They both Carry-Yolk-Ee

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HonoluluSolo
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 01 2019
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I've used this on my kids and my students. Makes me laugh every time. They laugh some of the time.

Person is having a coughing fit...cough cough hack cough cough.

Me: "maybe you shouldn't drink so much...(pause)...coughee.

(Hilarity ensues, at least for me.)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 321
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 13 2014
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I try to encourage my wife to come up with her own mom jokes. So when she asked me to make one up regarding wood, I got a little upset.

"Cedar, that's what I'm talking about. Its not oak-ee doke to take credit for what wood be my joke. Every bodhi has to create their own." I told her. Didn't mean to chop her down like that in hindsight. I hope she still pines after me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 01 2018
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What's Yoda's surname?

LeyEeWhoo

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Xdegenerate
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 01 2018
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What do you call a deer in a twister?

http://imgur.com/eeYimlT

πŸ‘οΈŽ 83
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kaboose286
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 08 2015
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What do you call the bees found in America?

USB(ee)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Blue_Snake
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 20 2018
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(US version) Why do companies like AT&T and Verizon do well?

They cell phones.

(Uk version) Why do companies like EE and O2 ban women called Maureen’s from stores?

Because MO BUY ALL (mobile) phones.

I work in a phone shop so I may have found these funnier than I should have

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mr-E-Droflah
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 09 2017
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What drink always has a cold?

Cough-ee

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/canadiain
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 12 2018
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Got my son while he was cooking breakfast this morning

My son asked me "Where's the chili powder?"

I replied "Right next to the Argentina powder."

To his credit, he slitted his eyes and intoned "I said 'chill-EE' powder, not 'chill-AY' powder, Dad."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 117
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zamoose
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 14 2014
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Bought myself some invisible tape
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 02 2017
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After 24 years, I finally won a pun battle with him!

http://imgur.com/wEePwS7

πŸ‘οΈŽ 44
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nolljosh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 11 2016
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Disnep

The other day i was watching a movie with my 7y old daughter..

The Disney logo appears and i say to her: 'Hey, Look it's Disnep

She says: 'No daddy, The P must be pronounced as a Y'

Next screen is the 'Yixar Logo'..

The look on her face... Yriceless* (thnx wikoff)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zipperke
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 08 2017
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I was handing the wife a copy of Entertainment Weekly...

..and I said "this is Strange.."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TurtleLoMein
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15 2016
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Courtesy of my Grandad

Have you heard about Yorkshire Police finding teenagers injecting ecstasy into just above their teeth?

It's called 'Ee-by-gum'.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/alysmaee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 02 2016
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So we got two rats for my little sister and my dad wanted to name them.

He called the first one 'rata-one-ee' and the other 'Ratatouille'

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Smeagol260
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 24 2014
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Coffee went down the wrong tube at breakfast.

Hey dad are you alright?

Yeah, but that sure was some strong cough-ee!

DAD!!!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/germsburn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 11 2015
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My buddy will make a great dad

I was having coffee with a buddy of mine when I took a huge sip and had a coughing fit. As soon as I was done, without missing a beat, he looks at me in the eye with a massive grin and says, "That's why they call it coff-ee!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Halicus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 10 2014
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What do you drink when you have a cold?

Cough-ee

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/K3lp_Boy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23 2015
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