My kids are dying to make easter eggs
I got a lame one for Easter - After the death of Christ, Jupiter experienced a dramatic change
He became Christian Peter.
Why did the Easter bunny go to the barber?
Why did the Easter egg hide?
Because it was a little chicken!
Best Easter ever
Hid 23 eggs in the yard each containing $1. Told the kids their are 24 eggs in the yard and one of them containes $100. Been 6 hours of peace and quiet now.
Say what you will about modern Easter celebrations.
But for me, the Romans really nailed it.
What kind of jewellery does the Easter Bunny wear?
Why did the Easter Bunny spit out his beer?
What did Mary Magdalene say to her friends on the first Easter?
You guys wanna see a dead body?
Why do eggs hate Easter?
Because it’s the day they all dye.
My Jewish friend wished me Happy Easter
I said I’m sorry she got passed over
My sister was busy getting ready to host our entire family for Easter. On her to-do list was a hair appointment for her daughter.
"So, Katie," said the stylist as the little girl got up in the chair, "who’s coming to your house this weekend with big ears and floppy feet?"
Katie replied, "I think it’s my Uncle Brian."
My friend, the hockey player invited me to have Easter dinner with his entire family.
So I sat down and had dinner with his father, son and the goalie host.
I don’t get Easter.
What’s the point eggs-actly
Easter
only on Easter do I want to see all my eggs in one basket
What composting insects love Easter?
Ones with an Eggso-skeleton!
I've got a great Easter joke
The inhabitants of Easter Island be like..
Where does the Easter Bunny work while off season?
Why does Korea have more Christians than China?
Because China is east, but Korea is easter.
The Easter Bunny, an honest lawyer, Santa Claus and a drunk find a $50 bill together-who kept it?
The drunk because the other three don’t exist
My six year old niece couldn’t wait to tell everyone this one over Easter: Why didn’t God let the worms stay in their Apple when they got on Noah’s Ark?
Because he told everyone they had to travel in Pears.
Art of naming
Partner and her parents were dying Easter eggs with our 4mo old, they tried to just get dye on her hand and then flail her arms or hold an egg. It went as well as expected and she got dye every where including her butt. She was on paper and one of the impressions looked like a dolphin.
I tell her “we should frame it”
She says “no we are not.”
I go “why it’s her first piece of art twerk!”
The Easter Bunny walks into a bar. The Bartender says, "I suppose you want a White Rabbit." The Easter Bunny says,
"I don't care, just give me something hoppy."
What do you call an Easter bunny on skates?
A new era after seeing their error
What’s the opposite of Easter?
Wester.
From my 10 y/o boy.
What was the Easter Bunny’s favorite vegetable?
The Easter Bunny hurt my feelings when I was a kid
I tried to tell him but he didn’t carrot all.
I tried to come up with an Easter joke
But I couldn't think of anything bunny
What’s the best beer for Easter?
Double IPA because of the extra hops.
Easter Exercise?
My wife is booking exercise classes for the week.
“Are these people really have class on Easter Sunday? What are they thinking?”
me, “Perhaps they are celebrating Pontus Pilates?”
"Hey son, do you know how to make Easter easier?" Puzzled, he responded, "I don't know dad, how?" I smiled and replied...
"Just replace the t with an i!
Taking a nap on Christmas makes me feel like Jesus…
Because I can say I also rose again!
My kids are usually really noisy when they eat their Easter candy, but not this year.
I didn't hear a single Peep.
Why did the Easter Egg hide?
Because he was a little chicken!
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