I was worried someone replaced my kid with a clever robot...
I went to a smoke shop only to discover it’d been replaced by an apparel store.
I replaced all of the incense in the Friar's room with Marijuana.
Your cell phone has already replaced your watch, camera, calendar and alarm clock....
Don't let it replace your family.
I replaced my steering wheel with a computer storage device
My wife said we should get the siding replaced.
I said we should do the front since that's the part everyone actually sees.
I asked Carrie if she understands what the consequences would be if every "st" was replaced wit a "w"
I replaced the handle on the toilet today!
Me: I replaced the handle on the toilet today!
Teenager: (Sarcastic) And aren't you proud of it?
Me: Flushed with success.
I replaced the milk in the milk carton with lemon juice
They were really sour about it
My roofer surprised me and replaced my roof for free.
He said it was on the house.
Our church just replaced our giant wood pulpit for a smaller metal pulpit that is equally heavy.
We are now a heavy metal church.
We will be introducing Black Sabbath to our worship set soon.
Punning replaced my old past-time.
I used to be a film photographer but learned it was a negative hobby.
One that lens itself to bad puns.
The kind that make you shutter.
I have proof.
This light in the bathroom at my office has been out for a year. Today it was finally replaced. One might say it was the “highlight” of my day
I replaced my cats litter with pop rocks to scare the shit out of her
I had my front door replaced with a door entirely made out of chocolate with a ganache handle and caramel accents.
Don't knock it until you've tried it.
I had this loaf but have since replaced it.
Someone stole my through-hole printed circuit board components and replaced them with surface mount. The police investigated..
BREAKING NEWS: To get a better response in Asia, Billie Dee Williams is being replaced with an virtually unknown actor.
People are already calling the character Rando Calrissian.
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
I replaced our bed with a trampoline
At an auction at a Tourette's syndrome charity, I won a bid for an origami sculpture of scissors made by Dwayne Johnson. To emphasize the charity's cause, he replaced a bad word with a family-friendly word on his origami scissors.
The Rock's paper scissors said "Shoot."
So I met a lady today who replaced one of her eyes with a banana.
As a set, they were oddly appealing.
An old car was asked by a mechanic if it wanted its wheels replaced...
It replied "no thanks, I've just retired."
My coworker Jim sits next to another coworker, Collin. One day, Jim replaced the nametag on his cubicle to also say Collin
I asked him, "Jim, your name isn't Collin. What's going on?"
He replied, "We're trying to Collin-ize the area."
(True story)
I replaced my bowstring with a thin tree limb.
It will break eventually, but it hasn't yet, so I'll nock on wood!
Battery company announces it has replaced Energizer Bunny.
Looking forward to new ads with Vin D-cell.
So this whole Kylie Jenner being replaced by an egg as the most likely photo...
I hear she was oeuf-ended.
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
A hip replacement is when something hip gets replaced by something else that’s more hip.
The Jewish nation that replaced palestine is defensive about its existance.
Replaced the garbage disposal because the old one started leaking.
Got home from Lowe's. Jumped in and installed it. Told my wife no leaks and it's quieter. She said "how much was it?"
"There goes 200 bucks 'down the drain'."
She rolled her eyes, walked away. Now I have to do the dishes.
They replaced the old flat map in our office with a much larger one that has raised textures
I'm writing a song about getting my front door lock replaced.
There’s a lovely key change at the end.
It appears we have been replaced. (x/post r/ofcoursethatsathing)
pungenerator.org
Did you hear about the Mexican restaurant that replaced all its fire extinguishers with jars of cheese and salsa?
The labels all read "break in queso emergency".
I recently replaced the surfaces in our kitchen to surprise my wife...
...and I used the cheap stuff, but it looked real, so I thought maybe it'd fool her.
No such luck. My wife is so "counter-intuitive" due to her high "counter-intelligence" that it didn't matter how "counter-productive" I'd been, she took one look at it and just knew. So instead of taking it for "granite," she threw a "counter-fit."
(Proud dad. All the jokes in this subreddit sound like ones I would make...)
I went to a smoke shop to discover that it has been replaced by an apparel store.
I went to a smoke shop to discover that it has been replaced by an apparel store.
I went to my local tobacconist to discover that it has been replaced by a clothing store...
My girlfriend dumped me. When she found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline...
My wife was annoyed when I replaced our bed with a trampoline
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