Because he told everyone they had to travel in Pears.
Wester. From my 10 y/o boy.
It's easier than wallpapering them.
But I couldn't think of anything bunny
>!EGG-plant!<
Double IPA because of the extra hops.
My wife is booking exercise classes for the week.
“Are these people really have class on Easter Sunday? What are they thinking?”
me, “Perhaps they are celebrating Pontus Pilates?”
"Just replace the t with an i!
I didn't hear a single Peep.
The Romans really nailed it!
Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.
3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.
5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.
A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. “I’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. “Sorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. “You’re out of your head.”
A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'
A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.
A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. “We don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. “Why not?” one yogurt asks. “We’re cultured.”
A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.
A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.
A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, “What are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”
A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Arrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
Armed robbers—some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.
Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.
Can February March? No, but April May!
Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.
Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!
Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.
Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?
Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!
Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape
... keep reading on reddit ➡It's okay, I missed it by a hare.
So many puns Spring-forth every year it’s not even Bunny.
Because I knew by the desperate look in that rabbit's eye that I was in dye or die situation.
Had a friend questioning what and how the Easter bunny came to be and his wife said “everyone knows Jesus was a big fan of rabbits,” to which I responded:
No wonder the priest always says “lettuce prey.”
Nobody liked it.
Rolling Rock.
- Heard from a friend - Think might be an original.
He had made a grave mistake.
Because I work at a middle school, I have a plethora of kids to tell dad jokes to.
My go-to phrase being, “Hoppy Easter! I hope every-bunny has an egg-cellent break!”
Lint
It's true! He's a Myster-E. Bunny
Gifs at Christmas!
Some of the more traditional members were uncomfortable with her cross-dressing.
Their peeps!
to see the Son rise, it's Easter
Arnold Schwarzenegger walks into a bar and orders some Cadbury eggs. "So, what's your favorite holiday to celebrate?" the bartender smiles as he serves the chocolate treats ."Have to love Easter, baby," Schwarzenegger replies.
But don't worry, I made sure that I didn't shout about it...
he’s really into hip hop.
I put it in my hand... Just like Jesus.
Replied: Nothing nailed down yet. Get back to you in a few days.
They're really stoned
They always get an egg-citing experience
Eventually I just said, “can you make me one with everything?”
Galloped potatoes!
My first good dad joke I've come with I believe. Happy Easter!
it was always Easter.
To tell the truth, deep inside he was a little chicken!
