I thought I had found the best optometrist southwest of Alaska...

But it turned out it was an optical Aleutian.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/alficles
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 08 2021
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Did you know birds don’t fly southwest?

They don’t want to be beaten and dragged out of the plane.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AhFkItsHeav
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 19 2019
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Southwest Airlines' snacks aren't fancy, you might say they're...
πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tacogratis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 17 2019
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Why do American painters always move to the Southwest?

The prefer CA,NV,AZ

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Unleashtheducks
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 19 2019
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Southwest steps up its pun game
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lea_firebender
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 13 2017
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Southwest stewardess just dropped this: "That landing wasn't the pilots fault, it wasn't the first captains fault...."

It was the asphalt".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BooBooDingDing
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 01 2017
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A flight to Kansas.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28 2018
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I asked my dad about our itinerary for this summers vacation in the southwest. He said we will start at the south rim of the Grand Canyon.

It's the perfect jumping off point.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Synisive
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 05 2018
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My friend just told me that for Halloween, he's dressing up as the Archipelago off the southwest coast of Britain....

I said, don't be so scilly.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Manson_Girl
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 04 2015
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I don’t think my friends on Snapchat appreciate my puns enough
πŸ‘οΈŽ 44
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chaoticnyx
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 22 2019
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Southwest.. The dad of the airlines tinypic.com/view.php?pic=…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Peabo721
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2013
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Why no baby planes?

A girl is on an airplane with her mom and asks her, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, then why don't big planes have baby planes?"The mom smiles and tells her daughter to ask the stewardess. The stewardess comes over and the the little girl asks her the same question she asked her mother.The stewardess asks the girl if her mom told her to ask her and the little girl replied "Yes." Then the stewardess says "Well that's because Southwest Airlines always pull out on time!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 21 2019
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Elon Musk says "Mars will need everything from iron foundries to pizza joints to nightclubs: Mars should really have great bars."

"The Mars Bar."

This was a legit quote from Musk at South by Southwest. He followed it by saying "I love dad jokes"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fricks_and_stones
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 12 2018
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This is my favourite sub

6 Inch Veggie Patty on Italian Herb and Cheese with lettuce, olives, sweetcorn, guerkins, jalepenos, and Southwest Sauce.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 82
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Nhexus
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 27 2015
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My dad got everyone at the airport today

So we're flying SouthWest airlines, which means that everyone has a boarding group A to D and a boarding number 1 to 60 to determine when everyone gets to board. As soon as they call boarding group A, my dad walks right up to the ticket checker with a big smile on his face and says, "Excuse me, but I believe I'm supposed to board before everyone else. She is confused for a moment and then he proudly holds up his ticket which has "B4" on it. Everyone kind of chuckled and I quickly buried my face in my hands.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 181
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EvTheSmev
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 16 2014
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Got my roommate this morning

Me, checking the mail: Great, another credit card ad from Southwest.

Roommate: You should get a Southwest card, you'd be surprised how far those miles go.

Me: Yeah, 5,280 feet.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SakuraSan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 12 2015
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Dad got one in just before his flight...

Dad: "You should fly Southwest next time- it's open seating." Me: "They let you pick your seat?" Dad: "Yeah, but they don't give you hand wipes for after..."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/subhuman_repugnance
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 25 2014
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