This duck came in and I swear he was on quack
I think you should get off your high horse.
I've been his customer for 6 years, I had no idea he was a barber.
A steroid.
I’m not sure what they were laced with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
Hide them in plane sight
Says give me some chapstick. Put it on my bill.
Unmethical
(Idk if this has been said before btw I just thought of it in class lol)
"Is Pepsi okay?"
High definition.
I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
It seemed to work just fine for my NEIGHbors
Anyone want to hear some of my addictdotes?
I just don't have it in me.
It was excellent at detecting quack
Neighsayers
Wiid
Surprising; I have been a customer of his for years and I did not know he was a hairdresser.
Unfortunately I was part of the control group.
I've gone to him for 5 years and I never knew he was a barber.
“Urine.”
Well if I’m talking to drugs, I’ve probably already said yes.
I looked in my pocket and all I had was a $20 bill. "Do I really want this money going to drugs?", I thought to myself. "Nah." So I gave him the $20.
Enough to kill two and a half men.
Seriously, he's been teetotal for months now.
Puns for Educated Minds ...
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The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
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I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
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She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still.
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A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
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No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
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A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
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A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
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Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
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A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall.. The police are looking into it.
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12.. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
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I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
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A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
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The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
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The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
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A backward poet writes inverse.
18.. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
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When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
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If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
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A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'
22.. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'
23.. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
24.. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says, 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
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Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root-canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
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There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Not sure what they were laced up with but I've been tripping all day!
Credit to my mom
Huge mistake. I don’t know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day
I’ve been his customer for years, had no idea he was a barber.
I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin' all day
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day!
He wasn't too sure what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day
I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day.
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day.
Don’t know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day...
Don't know what they were laced with, but I was tripping all day.
I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
I don’t know what he laced them with but I’ve been tripping all day!
I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
