Dad: "Did you know that the people who live in this town aren't allowed to be buried in that cemetery?"
Me: "Oh, why?"
Dad: "Cuz they're still alive."
Sounds easy, but the process is painstaking .
A Lamborghini.
First Window staffer, who takes the payment: "Hi, it's $7.30 (said like 'seven-thirty')
My Father: "No it's not, it's only 1 o' clock"
Just look at that escargo.
Looks like it was a Christler
...right in front of a house where there’s a huge party going on. He walks in and notices that the party is somewhat divided. There’s a clear distinction between the people waiting for the bathroom and the people queued up for drinks, etc.
Considering the urgency of the bathroom queue, he walks over to the drinks table and asks everyone there if they wouldn’t mind helping him push his car to get it started. They agree but even with the full might of several people, the car doesn’t budge. He thanks them for trying and they all head back inside.
A little while later, the doorbell rings. The man sees the host open the door to the largest pizza guy he’s ever seen. The behemoth is holding 15 pizzas with one hand, a pallet of buffalo wings with the other, with a keg strapped to each shoulder. The man jumps up and asks the pizza guy for his help pushing the car. He agrees and they head to the street.
With barely one touch of a pinky on one hand, the car lurches forward and starts right up. The man drives off, waving behind him and yelling a quick, “Thank you.”
As he catches sight of the party fading into the distance, he says to himself...
“Thank goodness for the delivery because that punch line sure is weak.”
Ur a bus.
He said "That's because the canal IS for boating."
A road hog
They say it contains a huge spoiler.
I made that up on the spot and told it to my kid. He told me it's not funny and it's a horrible joke. 😟
A spores car!
You know the drill
A steer.
...hehehe.
Because I'm not shellfish.
It's because I'm a nomad.
This will eliminate 75% of America’s car bunny missions.
Carpool tunnel.
His car was Putin reverse.
Me: Do you have Mac Rib in that special box.
Order Girl: Yes, yes we do.
Me: You should let him out. And I'll take three of them and a large fry.
(I was the only one that laughed, she just read back my total)
Already Reddit
Son: “Dad, put me down, you’re embarrassing me.”
Bud-wei-ser?
I told them, "You guys should take turns".
It really takes its toll on me.
Because he is not a tax-evader.
She said 'Have you lost weight? Nice shirt, by the way, and your hair looks fantastic.'
The golf tee.
Operation Toot And Calm ‘Em will last a week.
The rabbit says “I’m pretty sure I’m a type-o”
I said no, it's okay I have Contacts
He said "I don't give a damn who you think you know"
The Swasti-car.
It has become very corrupt.
Guy #2: That would explain why they look so grainy
Conversion vans
A Christler.
The process is a little painstaking.
