I realized I don't have any bread to go with my Indian food.
Did you know that you don't need a parachute to go skydiving?
But you do if you want to go twice.
If you don't go to someone's funeral
Don't expect them to come to yours
"I don't want to go to school!!"
"But you have to. It's Monday..."
"My stomach hurts!!"
"No it doesn't. Come on now, get dressed..."
"But the kids are mean to me!!"
"I'm sure some of them are nice..."
"The teachers all hate me!!"
"They can't hurt you..."
"I still don't want to go!!"
"But you have to, dear... you're the principal."
Thanksgiving is around the corner. You could go with turkey, but I recommend duck instead. So good roasted or fried..but whatever you do, dont smoke it.
Too many quack-heads in the world already
Why don't morticians need to go to the gym?
Because they dead lift all the time
why dont blind people go skydiving?
because it will scare the shit out of their dogs
The letters in the English alphabet go to the beach (don't ask me why). Every letter gets sunburned except W, X, Y and Z. Why?
They had UV protection in front.
I don't understand why people go to coffee shop and ask "Is this Gluten Free?"
It definitely costs money.
Why don't short people go to heaven?
Because heaven has high standards
I just downloaded Pokémon Go, so if you see me in the bushes outside your window, don't worry.
I'm just trying to get a Pikachu.
I don't always go the extra mile...
But when I do, it's usually because I missed my exit.
Don't go to the tattoo artist that used to be a math teacher
They really did a number on me
8 year old me when mom asks me why i don't want to go to school:
Don't go broke trying to act rich...
I hope the Kardashians don't go to the beach this year.
All we need is more plastic in the ocean.
Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with!
My wife said "Since you're tired, why don't you go to bed instead of sitting on the couch"
To which I replied "But it is sofa away"
Why don't the Easter Island statues ever go anywhere?
my family wanted to go on a vacation this year but we don't have the money.
Everything is so expencive i chose a free time share as our last resort
Why do birds sing in the morning?Because they don't have to go to work.
Every morning I announce loudly to my family that I'm going jogging, but then don't go.
I have never been much for rules myself. The sign on the sauna said "don't go to more than 85 degrees"
But I still sat in the corner.
Less a dad joke, more a dad observation.... People lament on the first fish evolving to live on land and wish it had just stayed there so we don't have to get up early to go to work.
But then we'd have to go to school every day.
Why don't some couples go to gym?
Becouse some relationships just don't work out.
Nuclear physicists don't like to go hunting.
But they really enjoy fission.
Pls don't buy bison son! Credits go to u/Chumpsland
Why don't pirates go to strip clubs?
Because they already have all the booty!
why dont blind people go bungee jumping
because it scares the fuck outta the dog
When I left home to go on a business trip, my wife said "Don't forget to write"
I thought, "That's unlikely... it's a basic skill, isn't it?"
I don't mind when the clocks go back for winter.
But when they forward is daylight robbery.
What's the best way to say you don't want to go to Bahrain?
Manama? Nah.
/do-doo-de-do-do
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving
But you do need a parachute to go skydiving twice
Why don't blind people go skydiving?
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving.
You need a parachute to go skydiving twice!!
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving...
You need a parachute to go skydiving twice
You don't need a parachute to go sky diving.
You need a parachute to go skydiving twice!
Why don't blind people don't go for skydiving?
Because it scares the crap out of their dogs
Why don't some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don't work out.
I don't always go the extra mile, or more, but when I do...
It's because I missed the offramp.
Why don't skeletons go trick-or-treating on Halloween?
They have no body to go with
Why don't blind people go skydiving?
It scares the heck out of the seeing-eye dog.
Why don't blind people go skydiving?
Because it scares the hell out of the dogs
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