So I have this app that is centered around dogs. I'm introducing a level system with 7 levels and need clever dog pun names for each level. I have a list here of the gist of what the levels should mean, but they are too boring as of now. Would love to see your pun skills at work!
- 1: Amateur
- 2: Junior Varsity
- 3: Varsity
- 4: Park Captain
- 5: Professional Player
- 6: Park All-star
- 7: Olympian Dog
Thanks! :)
a friend's text to me: I have eaten three mini hot dogs
my response: Frankly, that sounds delicious
I declare you the weiner of the food contest
I hope you dance your buns off
I relish the opportunity to ketchup at a later date
I feel like I could have done more - any other good ones out there?
So this girl I’ve been seeing for a while was at my place. She made a comment about how difficult a dogs life must be... I said “yea, it’s a rough life!” And proceeded to make three or four mor dog puns.
She walks to the Christmas tree, grabs a candy cane and throws it at me (all with a straight face).
Thinking she was mad, I asked what that was for.
She looks up, smiles, and says “It was your punish-mint.”
Funniest horse puns and jokes
A white horse walks into a pub and asks for a whisky. The landlord says: “Hey, we’ve got a whisky named after you.” The horse replies: “What, George?”
A horse trudges slowly into a pub and orders a drink. “Evenin’” says the barman, “why the long face?”
A horse walks into a smart cocktail bar. The doorman says: “Wait you can’t come in here without a tie.”The horse goes out to his car, looks in the boot and gets a set of jump leads, which he ties around his neck.He goes back in and says to the barman: “This alright?” The barman says: “Hmm, ok… but don’t be starting anything.”
A poorly-looking horse limps into a bar with a bandage round his head. He orders a glass of champagne, a vintage brandy and two pints of Guinness. He downs the lot and says to the barman: “I shouldn’t really be drinking this with what I’ve got?” “Why, what have you got?” “About £2 and a carrot.”
Which side of a horse has more hair? The outside What’s a horse’s favourite TV show? Neighbours
A racehorse owner takes his horse to the vet. “Will I be able to race this horse again?,” he asks The vet replies: “Of course you will, and you’ll probably win!”
Did you hear about the depressed horse? He told a tale of whoa!
A dead horse walks into a bar and orders a whisky.
“I’m sorry, sir,” says the barman. “We don’t serve spirits..
A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. “Excuse me, good sir,” the horse says, “are you hiring?” The manager looks the horse up and down and says, “Sorry, pal. Why don’t you try the circus?” The horse nickers. “Why would the circus need a bartender?”
Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him? The doctor described his condition as stable.
What did the horse say when it fell? “I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”
Q. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? A. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.
A man rode his horse to town on Friday. The next day he rode back on Friday. How is this possible? The horse’s name was Friday.
Why did the pony have to gargle? Because it was a little horse!
What did the horse say when it fell? I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
What did the teacher say when the horse walked into the class? Why the long face?
What do you call a horse that lives next door? A neigh-bo
... keep reading on reddit ➡"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."
Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.
It was littering.
Hailing Taxis
They had a long conversation about bark.
Edit: Y'all are nuts! We're somewhere north of 10k upvotes now, so I'll direct any remaining attention to Boot Camp for New Dads.
Because they don't have pockets.
I said no I didn’t know he could.
It was a shitzu
I'm feeling like such a good boy.
It was a patient dog
As soon as we got home, he made a bolt for the door.
Because, dogs can Bach
...I said I didn't even know he could play cricket.
Edit: Americans; replace 'cricket' with '10 Pin Bowling 🎳 '
Thank you for the awards
But today he ran over 5 Miles
What a Gouda boy!
Collie-flour!
...Soon we are going to have poop corn.
And added that we might have a cereal killer living in our house.
Nice bark!
From my 7yo this morning.
Cats can.
That's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
A roverdose
You might step in a poodle!
(from my 70 year old uncle)
It was a shih tzu.
Make me one with everything.
You just say to your family member - "Did you hear someone in the family is part owl?"
They'll reply with "who?" And you look at them with a raised eyebrow.
Tell this joke over dinner if youd like to be the life of the party. You're welcome.
Right where you left it.
He said nothing.
I should have known this would happen. He's pure bread.
He’s a Bordeaux collie
Because he had a ruff past.
Fo'drizzle.
It doesn't matter what you call it, he's not coming.
It doesnt matter, he is not coming
