Dog puns about going to school.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ruler_Grundy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
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I'm not very clever, looking for some help with dog puns

So I have this app that is centered around dogs. I'm introducing a level system with 7 levels and need clever dog pun names for each level. I have a list here of the gist of what the levels should mean, but they are too boring as of now. Would love to see your pun skills at work!

  • 1: Amateur
  • 2: Junior Varsity
  • 3: Varsity
  • 4: Park Captain
  • 5: Professional Player
  • 6: Park All-star
  • 7: Olympian Dog

Thanks! :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sherlocked_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2016
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Hot Dog Puns

a friend's text to me: I have eaten three mini hot dogs

my response: Frankly, that sounds delicious

I declare you the weiner of the food contest

I hope you dance your buns off

I relish the opportunity to ketchup at a later date


I feel like I could have done more - any other good ones out there?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wowmomlol
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2015
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I may have found the one...

So this girl I’ve been seeing for a while was at my place. She made a comment about how difficult a dogs life must be... I said β€œyea, it’s a rough life!” And proceeded to make three or four mor dog puns.

She walks to the Christmas tree, grabs a candy cane and throws it at me (all with a straight face).

Thinking she was mad, I asked what that was for.

She looks up, smiles, and says β€œIt was your punish-mint.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_JEThompson
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2017
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Horse Puns

Funniest horse puns and jokes

A white horse walks into a pub and asks for a whisky. The landlord says: β€œHey, we’ve got a whisky named after you.” The horse replies: β€œWhat, George?”


A horse trudges slowly into a pub and orders a drink. β€œEvenin’” says the barman, β€œwhy the long face?”


A horse walks into a smart cocktail bar. The doorman says: β€œWait you can’t come in here without a tie.”The horse goes out to his car, looks in the boot and gets a set of jump leads, which he ties around his neck.He goes back in and says to the barman: β€œThis alright?” The barman says: β€œHmm, ok… but don’t be starting anything.”


A poorly-looking horse limps into a bar with a bandage round his head. He orders a glass of champagne, a vintage brandy and two pints of Guinness. He downs the lot and says to the barman: β€œI shouldn’t really be drinking this with what I’ve got?” β€œWhy, what have you got?” β€œAbout Β£2 and a carrot.”


Which side of a horse has more hair? The outside What’s a horse’s favourite TV show? Neighbours


A racehorse owner takes his horse to the vet. β€œWill I be able to race this horse again?,” he asks The vet replies: β€œOf course you will, and you’ll probably win!”


Did you hear about the depressed horse? He told a tale of whoa!


A dead horse walks into a bar and orders a whisky.

β€œI’m sorry, sir,” says the barman. β€œWe don’t serve spirits..


A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. β€œExcuse me, good sir,” the horse says, β€œare you hiring?” The manager looks the horse up and down and says, β€œSorry, pal. Why don’t you try the circus?” The horse nickers. β€œWhy would the circus need a bartender?”


Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him? The doctor described his condition as stable.


What did the horse say when it fell? β€œI’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”


Q. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? A. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.


A man rode his horse to town on Friday. The next day he rode back on Friday. How is this possible? The horse’s name was Friday.


Why did the pony have to gargle? Because it was a little horse!


What did the horse say when it fell? I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!


What did the teacher say when the horse walked into the class? Why the long face?


What do you call a horse that lives next door? A neigh-bo

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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My wife asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl

...I said I didn't even know he could play cricket.

Edit: Americans; replace 'cricket' with '10 Pin Bowling 🎳 '

Thank you for the awards

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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A buddy of mine named his dog β€œ5 Miles” so he could tell people he walked 5 miles

But today he ran over 5 Miles

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GigaMike123
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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I apopted a dog from a blacksmith today

As soon as I got it home it made a bolt for the door

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πŸ‘€︎ u/acideath
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Every day I come home and ask my dog how his day was, and every day he always gives the same answer...

Ruff.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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I’ve never understood why baby dogs are called puppies...

When they could be called subwoofers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UncleTevis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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Couldn't understand why my dog was totally motionless....

Then I realised, it was on paws.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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Dogs can't operate MRI machines,

But cats-can.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xenonthewizlard
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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My vet picked up my dog, looked at him and confirmed that he was cross-eyed and that he had to be put down.

Confused and upset, I asked why.

The vet advised he was too heavy to hold any longer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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What's worse than raining cats and dogs ?

Hailing taxis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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What do you call a dog that can do magic?

A labracadabrador!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ifruitninja
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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What did one dog say to the other dog?

Bork Bork Bork

Itd be funnier if you were a dog, trust me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mt105
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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What's the furriest side of a dog?

The outside

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AusSpyder
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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I caught my dog chewing on my boots.

I guess he has really good taste in footwear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IrateScientist
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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I asked my dog Regina why she wouldn’t go and get the ball I threw...

She said, β€œQuit trying to make β€˜fetch’ happen.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uncle_Bug_Music
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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If all dogs go to heaven, where do cats go after they die?

Purrrgatory

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xerxes2004
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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My dog moon got his leg amputated, but that's ok...

He's a got a faux pas now

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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My wife rang me at the pub and said, β€œIf you’re not home in 10 minutes, I’m giving the dinner I cooked you to the dog.” I was home in 5 minutes.

I’d hate for anything to happen to the dog.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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My dog has learned out to use the TV remote...

All she does is paws and unpaws.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NBE01
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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Why do dogs float in water?

Because they're good buoys.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRetro_Misfit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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What profession do dogs specialize in?

Roofing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Man_busch
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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My dog swallowed a bunch of scrabble pieces

When he goes to the bathroom it could spell trouble.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/elster000
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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There are no losers when eating hot dogs. Only wieners.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wyllyam1111
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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What did Lady Macbeth name her dog?

Spot

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn’t matter they won’t come anyway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Project_1nth
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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I named my dog cinnamon

she's a lot of bark

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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I went to the zoo today and they only had one dog.

It was a shitzu

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wavepoolsquad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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What happens if a cat wins a dog competition during a tornado?

A cathastrophy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/D4rk3rl1fe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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Why is it so difficult to train dogs to dance?

Because they have two left feet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/a_dance_with_fire
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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Our dog has been a little under the weather so we took him in for a checkup. The vet picked him up, studied him for a bit, sighed and said, "I'm really sorry, but I'm gonna have to put him down." Tears welling in my eyes I sputtered, "Why!? What's wrong with him?"

The vet replied, "Nothing major, he's just really heavy!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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Today I finally told my family about my hot dog addiction

It was really hard but I managed to mustard all the courage to do so

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rafacu_el_dino
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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You hear about the dog who liked to chase cars?

He got tired.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ixnayhombray
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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How do you get a dog to stop

Hit the paws button

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πŸ‘€︎ u/woodysdad
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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What doss a cow say to its sled dogs

Moosh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Forgotten_Orokin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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Last night my wife asked if I had seen the dog bowl...

I said, "I didn't know he could!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kahnartist81
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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My wife asked me if I’d seen the dog bowl..

I said β€œI didn’t know he could.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlintTheDad
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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Wife asked if I'd seen the dog bowl...

β€œDidn't even know he played cricket" I replied

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trendfoll
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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Every day I come home and ask my dog how his day was, and every day he always gives the same answer...

Ruff.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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I adopted a dog that was owned by a blacksmith.

As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perigeesus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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