My doctor friend is addicted to hitting his patients on their knees to check their reflexes.
He really gets a kick out of it.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Jun 08 2020
How does a simp doctor treats his patients?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 11 2020
A patient goes to the doctor for a check up
The doctor says " i think i know whats wrong here, your DNA is backwards."
The patient then replies "AND?"
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 21 2020
A patient goes into a doctor's office for examination...
Doctor: On a scale from 1 to 10, how much pain are you experiencing?
Patient: Ο
Doctor: pi?
Patient: Low level, but never ending
π︎ 27
π
︎ Jan 03 2020
What did the doctor say to the patient who broke their foot for the second time?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 15 2019
Did you hear the one the Doctor told all his patients who were recovering from surgery?
They were all in stitches
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 07 2020
Patient goes to the doctor to talk about his crippling fear of heights.
Doctor: looking over the patients information Looks like you've gone from 5'10 to 5-
Patient: Starts screaming
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 10 2020
Nurse: "Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible"
Doctor: "Well, tell him I can't see him right now."
π︎ 590
π
︎ Aug 08 2019
What did the doctor say to his patient that wanted to do his own stitches?
π︎ 279
π
︎ Jun 13 2019
A man came to the doctor and said "you have to help me I'm shrinking", the doctor turned to him and said "I'm sorry you'll have to be a little patient"
π︎ 19
π
︎ Oct 29 2019
A doctor was looking at a patient's X-rays.
Doctor: This is exactly what I was afraid of.
Patient: What is it, doctor?
Doctor: Skeletons.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Oct 03 2019
My doctor told me that his job is easy because he can heal all of his patients with trigonometry.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 02 2019
What did the ER doctor say when the paramedic brought in a badly burnt patient?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 30 2019
A doctor says to a patient βHave your eyes been checked?β ...
βNo doc, theyβve always been blueβ. The patient replies
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 01 2019
A rich patient told his doctor that money was no problem: "Please give me some good news." "Okay then," said the physician...
"But I'll have to tell that to your widow."
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 25 2019
Doctor: Sir, I am sorry to say that you have onomatopoeia... Patient: What is it, doc?
Doctor: Itβs exactly what it sounds like.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jun 28 2018
What did the doctor say to the patient with a bladder infection?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 02 2019
Patient: Doctor, I swallowed some rope last night Doctor: Have you got it out of you system yet? Patient: I'm a frayed knot
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 04 2019
After a brain scan, a doctor with bad bedside manor says to his patient seems like I'll see you TU MOR times, because you have TU MOR days to live.
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 10 2019
My doctor: Thanks for being patient. (Happened 5 min ago, not sure he realized his genius)
π︎ 520
π
︎ Oct 23 2017
Youβre like a bad doctor; no patients
It works with both patients and patience
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 24 2019
My daughter had an accident, and i rushed to the hospital to see if she was alright. The doctor told me that she is on surgery right now and i have to be patient.
I told him : My daughter is the patient, now answer my question please.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 10 2019
Doctor to female patient: βIt looks like youβre pregnant.β
Female patient: βIβm pregnant?!β
Doctor: βNo, you just look pregnant.β
π︎ 48
π
︎ Aug 05 2018
What was the doctor's response when his patient refused medical care?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Nov 22 2018
A patient bursts into a doctorβs office, "Doctor, I believe I'm a deck of cards!" The doctor calmly replies, "Go sit in the waiting room, please, I'll be dealing with you later."
short-funny.com/best-punsβ¦
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jul 10 2017
What did the British doctor say to the poorly coordinated patient when talking about money?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 26 2018
What was the doctor's prognosis of the bariatric patient?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 24 2018
Whatβs the difference between a doctor and a waiter? Nothing, they both have patients/patience.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 26 2018
The doctor told the patient that he had MS.
The patient responded,"that's unnerving".
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 27 2018
What did the doctor say to the patient who fell and broke their ankle?
Well gee, you should be feeling swell in a couple days.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 31 2015
My doctor friend is addicted to hitting his patients on their knees to test their reflexes.
He really gets a kick out of it.
π︎ 349
π
︎ Mar 11 2020
Doctor: You have 10 to live. Patient: What!? 10 what?!
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 21 2019
My doctor friend is addicted to hitting his patients on their knees to test their reflexes.
He really gets a kick out of it.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 27 2019
My doctor friend is addicted to hitting his patients on their knees to test their reflexes.
He really gets a kick out of it.
π︎ 337
π
︎ May 28 2019
My doctor friend is addicted to hitting his patients on their knee to test their reflexes.
He really gets a kick out of it.
π︎ 83
π
︎ Jun 12 2019
My doctor friend is addicted to hitting his patients on their knee to test their reflexes.
He really gets a kick out of it.
π︎ 268
π
︎ Feb 19 2019
As a doctor, Iβm addicted to hitting my patients on the knees to test their reflexes.
I really get a kick out of it.
π︎ 469
π
︎ Aug 26 2018
"Doctor I have a patient on the line that claims he's invisible"
"Tell him I can't see him right now."
π︎ 69
π
︎ Aug 08 2018
What did the doctor say to the patient who wanted to do their own stitches?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 29 2018
Patient: *waiting for the doctor*
Patient: waiting for the doctor
Doctor: Sorry to keep you waiting.
Patient: Its okay, I am patient.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jan 11 2018
The doctor tells the patient that he has some good news and some bad news...
Patient: Tell me the bad news first!
Doctor: Sure. The bad news is that there is no good news.
Patient: Well? What is the good news then?
Doctor: That there is no bad news either.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 29 2017
Thought about being a doctor once, but I don't have the patients
π︎ 13
π
︎ May 17 2017
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