Dinnertime Puns

Younger me: "Dad, how long will dinner be?" Dad: Holds out hands and says "About this long"

As I was eating dinner with my dad, he goes to put some pasta in the microwave with few oregano leaves on the top. I saw this and asked, "Is that okay to microwave raw oregano? I hope it doesn't turn out like kale." (For the few of you who have tried microwaving kale like me, you'll know that it sparks, smokes, and eventually catches fire.)

My dad responded with, "Yeah I hope it doesn't turn out like the kale, because then it will be chard."

Me: food Son: what kind of food? Me: good food Son: sigh, what kind of good food? Me: really, good food Me: what time do you want to eat? Son: dinnertime

...... very good my young padawan

We were just casually sitting in the living room when this short interaction took place:

Dad: What time would you like to have dinner?

Mom: pause Dinnertime!

Dad proceeded to roll his eyes.

I work in the same industry as my dad, and during a dinnertime conversation, the topic shifted to one of his old coworkers that I'd recently met. I mentioned that her last name was Smith, he told me he remembered that it was Wright. I told him that she had gotten divorced a few years ago, and he got a grin across his face. He looked me dead in the eye and said,

"Well then, I guess Mr. Wright turned out to be Mr. Wrong."

He started laughing as my mom and I groaned and shook our heads.