What is the Tunnel Diggers Association's motto?

Boring is fun!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ParsonsTheGreat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09
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What did the new crematorium say about the grave digger?

I’m about to ruin this man’s hole career.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grave_Digger606
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
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An underage gold digger is a miner
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πŸ‘€︎ u/afieif
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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I ain’t sayin she a gold digger

but she did migrate to California in 1849.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cjborange
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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What does a gold digger say to get someone’s attention?

β€œA u!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/j-wabbitt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
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I just found out that my wife is a gold digger.

So now we're celebrating her new career as an industrial miner.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zapyre
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
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Grave diggers have one of the most serious jobs in the world. Every single time they do something wrong it’s a grave mistake.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirCheesePidgeon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
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How did the ditch digger feel about his job?

He found it irrigating.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/krustygymsocks
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2018
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Did you hear about the gold digger who married a rich art collector?

She was just in it for the Monet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Feral1991
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2017
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Son, your mother is a gold digger and she just loved me because of my necklace...

It was a chain reaction

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unammusic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2018
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Now I ain't sayin she a gold digger....

But she did move to California in 1847!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pokeysrevenge
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2015
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And she calls it "This Land"

Having a bit of a discipline issue with my daughter... she'll bring a pile of sand inside and make what she calls her "land". It's sand arranged in a flattish layer, with toy animals and her lego house (Friends^TM , why she no like diggers and helicopters and whatever, why she gotta be so girly??). She doesn't like getting her hand dirty while she's doing it, wears a glove to keep clean, so you'd think she could understand the concept that I don't like the floor getting dirty... but no, she doesn't give a shit.

Had her third birthday party recently, and gave her a Skye (Paw Patrol) plushy, she loves it. Because it's her newest and most favourite toy in the whole world, and because it was for her birthday, we can't confiscate it no matter what.

Very next day, she makes her land again, Skye's there at the side - she's too big to sit in the middle, it would dominate all the plastic dinosaurs and lego Friends people (not the usual mini-figs, they're a bit more anatomically correct, anyway that's not important right now). So I'm all angry and "why you keep doing this", take the glove off her and sweep up the sand. Put her in the time out cage for a bit. Well, we call it the cage, it's just a cupboard under the stairs which is a bit shorter than her so she has to sit there if she doesn't want to bump her head. Throw her in there for one minute per year of age, is the standard procedure.

Anyway, as we close the door she starts singing...

Take my glove

Take my land

Take me where I cannot stand

I don't care

I'm still three

You can't take this Skye from me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cman_yall
πŸ“…︎ May 25
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The twelve days of Jokemas, day two

What do you call a monster truck during Christmas dinner?

Gravy Digger

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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I dig, you dig, we dig, she dig, he dig, they dig.

It's not a beautiful poem, but it's very deep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Redwards2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
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A man with a gold claim in Alaska was cursed.

At first the curse just brought him bad luck, causing vital equipment to break and provoking frequent but small injuries to him and his crew. Soon, however, the curse darkened and diggers the man had hired to help work his claim began to die in bizarre ways.

One was killed by an African scorpion that should never have made it to Alaska, let alone have survived the cold. A second drank a gallon of the mercury used to separate the gold from the ore. A third was found with a tree growing up through his body.

The man himself who owned the claim became more and more pale. His eyes became all white. His skin began to give off an overpowering smell of sulfur. He slept all day and at night he wandered the mountain above his claim, coming back each day looking more like a beast than a man.

The curse became so bad the last worker alive ran away to the nearest town to tell the authorities what was happening at the claim.

In an attempt to save the claim owner's life and lift the curse, a priest was brought in by dogsled to perform an exorcism on the man.

A sherriff from the town came with the priest as a bodyguard.

The exorcism was long, but apparently successful. Immediately the man's color returned, the sulfur smell disappeared, and he was able to sleep through the night for the first time in six months.

After the man awoke, the sherriff immediately arrested the man and brought him back to town with the priest. Standing in front of the judge, the sherriff was asked what charge the law had against the claim owner whose life had just been so dramatically turned around.

The sherriff looked at the man, then looked back at the judge and said in a slow and rumbling voice, "Possession as a miner."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Y2KoNo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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I had sex with a miner.

She was a gold digger.

She was super into metal.

We got stoned together.

I'm thinking about coaling her, but you're supposed to wait 3 days.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Death_By_Pun
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
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At first I thought it was great marrying an archeologist...

But then I found out she was a gold digger and my life is in ruins!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
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Why did the mummy get a divorce?

His wife was a ghoul-digger who was just after his mummy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soccerdadjoke
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2018
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Topic: Perception

Sepp was a successful business man, who had married a known "gold digger" -- After Sepp's death, his eldest made claim to the estate, but his evil step mother told the lawyers "well that claim is just per Sepp's son"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sarah_Connor
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2017
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I've never gotten Reddit Gold.

I'm okay with that though, I'm not a gold digger.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2017
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[Request] Mole-related puns

So to clarify, a mole is a unit of measurement in chemistry. My chemistry class does this extra credit project every year where you make a diorama of a mole (animal), with some sort of pun. Examples: Mole-sama Bin Laden, Mole Digger, Deadmol3. Help me find a good idea?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProbablySpiderman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2014
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One-upped by my son

I was being my usual dad witty self today when my wife and I were talking about how much food we had grilled this weekend for meals for the week. I told my wife that she was just using me for my grill.

Without skipping a beat, my son said, "she's a grill digger."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hobogato
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2017
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My school hosts a volleyball tournament every year. Here are some if my favorite team names
  • The Notorious D.I.G.
  • The Orval Redenblockers (I probably butchered that spelling)
  • The Volley Lamas
  • The Gold Diggers
  • The Serve-ivers
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAce1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2014
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Getting Educated Sucks

Me: I'm thinking about going back for my PhD soon.

Dad: What do you need a Post-Hole Digger for?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scampbe999
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2013
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I dig... You dig... He dig... She dig... We dig... They dig...

Now it's not a very beautiful poem... But it's quite deep

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πŸ‘€︎ u/palpameme_66
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
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