I'm developing a new fragrance for introverts
I'm going to call it leave me the fuh cologne
π︎ 26
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︎ Apr 11 2021
I tried googling tips to stop procrastinating but I ended up reading about photography
Turns out I canβt focus!
π︎ 4k
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︎ Apr 18 2021
Was watching Arrested Development the other day and my girlfriend made a groaner of a dad joke.
Lucille: βI have to get Dusty ice cream.β
GF: βDusty ice cream doesnβt sound very goodβ
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︎ Feb 25 2021
Why did Einstein develop a theory about space?
π︎ 6
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︎ Feb 19 2021
Scientists have developed a microscopic needle that is too small to be seen by the naked eye...
I just don't see the point.
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︎ Jan 12 2021
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys. Girls develop boobies around the age of thirteen...
...and boys develop them around the age of fortyβ¦
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︎ Dec 26 2020
Why do developers never put horse-drawn carriages in their games?
π︎ 17
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︎ Dec 22 2020
I think my wife is developing Alzheimer's.
She said, she can't remember what she saw in me.
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︎ Dec 08 2020
I developed my own fragrance today,
Nobody in the car liked it.
π︎ 22
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︎ Nov 13 2020
Why do some developers need glasses?
π︎ 11
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︎ Nov 14 2020
If Al Gore really invented the internet, did he develop his own Al-Gore-rithms? :')
π︎ 11
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︎ Nov 02 2020
Scientists developed a male birth control gel but it only targets the X/Y chromosome
Theyre calling it "Son-Block"
π︎ 15
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︎ Dec 06 2020
How many developers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None - that's a hardware problem.
π︎ 26
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︎ Aug 26 2020
Are people born with photographic memories...
....Or do they take a while to develop ?
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︎ Apr 05 2021
Last night I stepped on a corn flake..
My dad keeps calling me a cereal killer π
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 13 2021
You know what it's called when you hurry to develop a vaccine?
π︎ 36
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︎ Sep 25 2020
What do Vampire Software Developers Abhor?
π︎ 8
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︎ Oct 15 2020
TIL: Humans are born with four kidneys
When they grow up, two of them becomes adult knees
π︎ 17k
π
︎ Sep 24 2020
When the first company develops the Coronavirus vaccine we should all proclaim: "Covidatulations"
π︎ 2
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︎ Oct 10 2020
Whatβs the hard stuff that develops on cowsβ teeth?
π︎ 6
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︎ Oct 09 2020
Not the best name for a developer
π︎ 25
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︎ Aug 22 2020
What type of person speeds up vaccine development?
π︎ 6
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︎ Aug 12 2020
I developed a successful chicken social network app to earn some money on the side.
I did it to make hens meet.
π︎ 8
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︎ Oct 07 2020
I'm developing a fear of German sausages
π︎ 36
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︎ Jul 15 2020
Why does a space rock taste nicer than an earth rock?
Itβs a little meteor.
(Not a dad. But I told this to my dad and he approved)
π︎ 105
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︎ Jan 06 2021
This week I volunteered for the Russian developed Covid-19 vaccine...
I received my first shot yesterday at 4:00 pm, and I wanted to let you all know that itβs completely safe, with ΠΈo side effects whatsoeveΡ, and that I feelshΞΊΞΉ ΟoΟoshΞΏΜ Ρ ΡΡΠ²ΡΡΠ²ΡΡ ΡΠ΅Π±Ρ Π½Π΅ΠΌΠ½ΠΎΠ³ΠΎ ΡΡΡΠ°Π½Π½ΠΎ ΠΈ Ρ Π΄ΡΠΌΠ°Ρ, ΡΡΠΎ Π²ΡΡΠ°ΡΠΈΠ» ΠΎΡΠ»ΠΈΠ½ΡΠ΅ ΡΡΠΈ.
π︎ 2
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︎ Sep 23 2020
They developed a cure for my vampirism AND my blindness!
Never thought I'd see the day.
π︎ 10
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︎ Sep 16 2020
I have a friend who loves computer programming but his parent wanted him to be a doctor. So he became a plastic surgeon.
Now he's a full rack developer.
π︎ 7
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︎ Apr 10 2021
Why don't developers carry guns?
They have troubleshooting.
Edit: Wow! This really took off! I'm happy to have inspired so many grins, cringes, and chuckles!
π︎ 6k
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︎ Sep 04 2019
When did the dentist develop tooth pain?
π︎ 2
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︎ Oct 03 2020
How did they develop the covid vaccine so quickly?
π︎ 7
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︎ Aug 14 2020
What kind of web developers DO like bugs?
π︎ 10
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︎ Jul 25 2020
Happy Ending
A guy walks into a bar on Ash Wednesday and orders a beer. "I'm really having a hard time trying to decide what to give up for Lent," he tells the bartender. "Well let me tell you a little cautionary tale about giving things up for Lent," the bartender says. "A particular family in LA has been abstaining from using one letter of the alphabet for Lent each year, since 2001. It started as a joke, giving up "A" in 2001 and "B" in 2002, but developed into a strong family tradition. This year, one of the members has a tough choice to make. Unlike the rest of the Astleys, Rick made a solemn vow... "
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︎ Feb 18 2021
Iβm developing a comic series, and I need a short pun as the title.
This is about a school janitor who murders children at the school he works at, and Iβm looking for either a pun about cleaning or a pun that can somehow tie in murder/violence with cleaning in some way. Strange request, I know.
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︎ Feb 22 2020
See what develops
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︎ Oct 26 2019
What do you call a cologne developed by Tesla?
π︎ 10
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︎ Jun 05 2020
Karen did that actually happen
π︎ 5k
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︎ May 02 2020
I heard Apple is developing a new car
But they were having trouble installing windows.
π︎ 34
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︎ Feb 09 2020
I'm developing a game which simulates your parents using the internet.
It's called the Elder Scrolls Online.
π︎ 123
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︎ Mar 14 2020
Iβve recently developed a severe phobia of elevators.
Iβm taking steps to avoid them.
π︎ 138
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︎ Jul 20 2019
I've often wondered, are people with photographic memories born with that ability..
..or does it just take time to develop ?
π︎ 17
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︎ Jan 21 2021
I'm developing a new fragrance for introverts
It's called "Leave me the fuh cologne"
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Feb 28 2020
I'm developing a new cologne for introverts
π︎ 82
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︎ Aug 18 2020
Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.
π︎ 207
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︎ May 02 2020
Why do python developers wear glasses?
π︎ 18
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︎ Sep 11 2020
Why do most web developers wear glasses?
π︎ 5
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︎ Jul 25 2020
Human interest for 2021 Lent
A particular family in LA has been abstaining from using one letter of the alphabet for Lent each year, since 2001. It started as a joke, giving up "A" in 2001 and "B" in 2002, but developed into a strong family tradition.
This year, one of the members has a tough choice to make. Unlike the rest of the Astleys, Rick made a solemn vow...
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 17 2021
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