It's all well now.
Which to be honest I think is a pretty mean way to refer to our city council, however dull they may be.
They're shellfish.
Move it too far forward and it becomes a birdie tee.
Too far back and it becomes a bogey tee
Get it just right?
Now that's a party.
He died in the war, holding a hand grenade.
You boil the hell out of it.
Because you can always count on them
In a dad-a--base
I thought that was the whole point of them.
Diary-uh or a log. Depends how sappy...
"Several, actually, depending on the day. I'm a kryptonight."
Me: Your mask looks like a diaper
Him: It's very comfortable though.
Me: Like Huggies comfortable or Pampers?
Him: It Depends....
more like en passat
Depends on how much those toucans eat
They always vote "Neigh".
It depends on which direction the wind is blowing.
Does that make you an iWitness
That's a long time considering they're working around the clock.
The need-le.
Stroke its head.
If he wags his tail, it's male.
If she wags her tail, it's female.
So if thats true then depending on where you are you would be of an average race, have average hair, etc.
And going down from that, alot of people have the same name, making certain names normal or "average".
What im saying is, thats a really complicated way to find the average Joe.
In the Bushs
Leather ones, because they’re made of Hide.
Country
What kind of broad?
I told him it depends on who you ask.
Depends on their age
“He is a dick, Ted.”
Apologize profusely
Nickerauga
Hawai'i - because it's not incontinent /original?
Well, it Depends
It Depends...
Grandpa: Depends ...
Depends on how many people are standing in it.
He asks the bartender, "Why is there a piece of steak hanging from the ceiling?
The bartender replies, "If somebody jumps and manages to hit the steak, all drinks will be free for the entire night. However, if somebody tries and misses, they will have to buy drinks for everybody else for the entire night. Would you like to try?"
The man thinks about it and replies, "No thanks, the stakes are too high."
Just started playing Zelda:Skyward Sword and named my character Colby after my dog. My wife asks me if I'll name Link that every time, or change it when we have kids. I answer, depends.
Depends? You'll name him Depends? I didn't think you were old enough for those.
So. Proud.
I work in the claims department at a life insurance company. A recent addition to our department mentioned that she had an insured who died from a bowel obstruction. I couldn't help but say: "Sounds like a real shitty way to go..."
'Punnit' is hosted by myself and played over three rounds. The first two rounds consist of one category (say, Musical Genres & Ailments), with each contestant going in turn and giving their best 5 entries. Such as, HIVy Metal, Honky Tonksillitis, Indiegestion etc.
These two categories are known about a week or so prior so everyone can bring their best (or worst, depending on how you look at it) but the third round is entirely on the spot, with the entrants shouting out whatever they can think of for a category. One of the recent being American Presidents & American States, with OklaBama winning that one.
It's all very much in the early stages but I would appreciate both feedback on the format and people getting in touch if they wanna duke it out.
Here are the episodes: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKJOzYgG9MW7CQHAZQahiqw/videos
Follow us too @thepunpodcast
I wonder what he’s up to?
You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
A handful.
We have a code dependent relationship.
I find it a hard pill to swallow.
I keep it closed like my life depended on it.
he would be your fed ex
All my friends contact names are puns and I need some for my new friends!
It all depends on the conductor.
Depending on the day, I might even drink the whole weizen.
So a bit of background here, I am fully dependent on my carer. Where he goes, I go. What he eats, I have to eat too. And because of that, if he wants to eat the wrong thing, I suffer.
I have no control over what he feeds us and I can't always tolerate the foods he likes. If he eats food that is too spicy, I yell at him. Like a lot. I've even made him cry a few times. But the thing is, I can't control myself. Every time I talk, it is shit for everyone in my vicinity, especially him. That's why I need him as a carer. I really tried to not give him shit for a couple weeks by not talking at all but he thought it was so bad that I did that he took me to the doctor to force me to keep giving out instead of bottling it all up.
I don't know what to do. I'm literally the end point of his digestive system. Am I the asshole?
It depends on what's at steak
Because, at this point in his life, he didn't want to be, a dependent Claus.
But it can be an adjective, definite article, pronoun, or adverb depending on how it's used.
One says it is raining, the other says it is simply a mist.
To settle their dispute, they stop and ask a guard outside the Kremlin for his opinion.
"Rudolph, please help us with this disagreement! Is it raining, or not?"
Rudolph replies, "It is raining."
"I knew we could depend on you, Comrade. You see," he says to his partner, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
Goto Sam's Club. There's cement walls, years worth of food and tons of supplies. Plus zombies can't get in without a membership.
Depends how thinly you slice them.
Son: “What’s a bookworth?”
Dad: “Depends whether it’s hard cover or paperback.”
Baa, dum, sss
But I'm a little short
Depends on the scales.
Bruh, Moscows are Russian.
A vacuum
or a prostitute depends on what context.
But they're a solid #2
It really makes my day.
I said “Depends, will you give it back?”
A girl nearby and a monkey screamed, "Swiper, no swiping!"
It all depends. Are you going to see it later, or after a while?
So I have to stand outside and shout them in
Depending on the circumstances
Depends on how many come to the barbecue
