Why did the demon go to the gym?

He needed to exorcise

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LastLeave8770
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
🚨︎ report
A musical demon delivered my pizza.

He was a Personal Pan.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you need to get rid of a demon with a skin condition?

An Exorcyst.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Apollonius_Cone
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
🚨︎ report
A bread demon would bring a lot of pain.
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheManNamedT
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
How do demons find out about their future?

They read a horror-scope.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bbew_Mot
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
🚨︎ report
In which era did the half demon bloods exist?

Medieval era

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Artisticspawm
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
What do Demons store human souls in?

Sufferware

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuizzicalQuandary
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a date with a demon last night...

But I’m not really into the possessive type.

(My brotherβ€˜s joke not mine)

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnnyXorron
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are demons fat

Because they hate exorcising

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/winged-sunrise
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I always thought it was weird that no one talks about demons in Africa.

Then I remembered-they bless the rains down in Africa.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_kermit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
The U. S. Government legally believes in demons.

After all, possession is 9/10ths of the law.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madkins007
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
If a demon ever goes bald

They’ll be hell toupee.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notgordonbombay
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What happened to the crack-dealing demon?

Arrested for possession.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheesusHChrust
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Demon [possessing my child]: 𝔱π”₯𝔒 𝔠π”₯𝔦𝔩𝔑 𝔦𝔰 π”ͺ𝔦𝔫𝔒

Me: possession IS 9/10 of the law

Child: I’m hungry and I want a toy and I’m not going to nap today and-

Demon: 𝔦𝔰 𝔦𝔱 π”žπ”©π”΄π”žπ”Άπ”° 𝔩𝔦𝔨𝔒 𝔱π”₯𝔦𝔰?

Me: it’s legally your problem now

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Today is demon day

6/6 Saturday

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wu-Chinese
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Part of my alphabetised tea set recently got possessed by a demon.

I’m sure it’s saucer β€˜E’.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yetanotherrob
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a very spicy Japanese pizza demon.

It was a Pepper Oni.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/desireewhitehall
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My local priest said he couldn't make it to dinner. He was busy exorcising our neighbours demons.

That's really nice of him. It's important that her demons stay healthy.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingSulley
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the demon who threw some shoes in the hellfire?

He wanted to watch their soles burn

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rahcled
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Demon names always have apostrophes in them

They show possession.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
A demon said he wasn't gay.

I asked him demonstrate

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Skididlydoo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Matt Demon everybody!
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrWosabi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
A demon was arrested today

It was charged with possession.

πŸ‘︎ 107
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amishandroid
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2016
🚨︎ report
We all know what the dodge demon is right?

I guess you could say its.... fast as hell

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ve1ocityReign
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
🚨︎ report
I tried exercising my inner demons

But now they're just super fit and hotter than ever

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SirSpicyBunghole
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?

Gobble the ghoul.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BeefbrothTV
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a demon with a broken leg

A Limp

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mekkanik
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Recently found out Hell was made of demon beaver homes?

So that's what they meant by eternal dam nation.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scarfhero
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
🚨︎ report
When Johnny Demon sneezed, fire came out his nostrils and the Earth rumbled.

All the other demons said, "curse you!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Organic foods will turn me into a demon

Because they're super-natural

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dante0906
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2016
🚨︎ report
Why are demons fat...

Because they hate exorcising!

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bcm929
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report

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