Local barber in the area got arrested for selling drugs.

Blew my mind. I’ve been his customer for years. I had no idea he was a barber.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedCakesYT
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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TIL the Pentagon was supposed to be the Octagon.

But the contractor kept cutting corners.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xavier_Superfly
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
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I bought 20 guillotines because there was a great deal

I don’t know why I thought it’d be a good idea. I lost my head when buying them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCultofLoss
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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[Meta] The real purpose of dad jokes

Back in the before times, when sit-down restaurants existed, I used to order boneless cheese sticks and would just throw the word "boneless" in front of any appetizer with 100% corniness. The purpose of this isn't to make a good joke. It's not a good joke. The purpose is to make my dining companions catch some cringe splash damage and want to crawl into a hole and die out of embarrassment for my being horribly corny.

But there is a real, deeper purpose that I've discovered entirely by accident. People, especially young people, are so self-conscious and worried about saying or doing something embarrassing that it taints a lot of social gatherings. They go to a restaurant and are afraid to speak up even when their order is blatantly wrong. They'll tip well even when the food took an hour to arrive and the server has disappeared into the corn stalks behind a baseball field. It takes 2 hours of hanging out together before some friends finally stop nitpicking themselves, uncomfortable in their own bodies and brains, feeling perpetually judged, and begin to relax. These are the kinds of people who go to sleep every night replaying cringey moments from high school. Their last thought of the day is when the Burger King girl said, "Enjoy your meal!" and they said, "Thanks, you too."

It takes 2 hours and/or a lot of booze before they're comfortable enough to take conversational risks and truly reveal themselves. But if I come right out of the gate with a really dumb joke, then we can cut to the chase. There's less danger because someone in the group already shot themselves in the foot, right off the bat. They pulled a pin on the cringe grenade and then jumped on it.

You cringe at my dumb joke and then we're over the hump. Someone has already done something pretty stupid, so go ahead and order the hubcap of nachos and a massive chocolate shake because nobody is going to judge you poorly while they're all judging me.

In terms of price negotiations (haggling), there is a psychological concept called "anchoring". You throw out the first number and all subsequent numbers are compared to that number. This is the same idea. We've already set the humor standard pretty low at "boneless cheese sticks", so you can say the dumbest shit you want and, as long as it's not worse than my cheesy joke, it won't matter.

This is why, when you were a teenager and your dad took you and some friends out, your dad made corny jokes. He knew they were corny jokes. You and your friends un

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Permatato
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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Haggling over a pricing structure with Dwayne Johnson

Dwayne Johnson recently came to the arts and crafts store I own looking to buy equipment for the wardrobe department for his latest movie. He asked if we could quickly fill a large order of cloth-cutting shears. I told him yes, but given the rush, we couldn't offer a bulk discount. For the next hour, Mr. Johnson haggled with me, insisting on paying a single, reduced price for the order of shears rather than the standard per-item price.

With my frustration growing, Mr. Johnson wouldn't back down. Finally, he made a desperate attempt to get the deal he wanted: he suggested we play any simple game of my choice; winner sets the price structure for the shears. He then asked me what I wanted to play.

Fed up, I shouted: Rock! Pay per scissors!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rburke319
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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Just dad joked my younger brother

So we were at Home Depot waiting for someone to come cut some wood, when my brother points at the price for the plastic trim behind me.

Brother: It costs 914 dollars?!

Me: No.

Brother: They should really make that clear then.

Me: But then you couldn't see it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SageC_Random12
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2014
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