Crab Louse, keeper of the pubes.
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2021
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I have crab louse. Should I consult a doctor?

I have crab louse should I consult a doctor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wompwompwomp126
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
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TIL that the wood louse (roly poly, pillbug, potato bug) is not an insect, but a crustacean. We don't eat them like lobster or crab because they taste like urine. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woo…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/falsebuild
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2015
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Whiny little micropenis incarnate and infamous writer of pedophile love songs Theodore Nugent slurs school children/shooting victims in needy bid for attention. You'd think a man who's chin-pubes are a national wildlife sanctuary for the crab louse would keep his mouth shut. usatoday.com/story/life/p…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/F_D_P
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2018
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Tried to ride the crab louse but the big cat fauna just didn't see it my way.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigbobishere
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
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WTF this Doctor Found On The Lashes Of This Woman (Pthirus pubis/crab louse) youtube.com/watch?v=TpKvY…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boyz_zones
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2016
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Please help me Id this blurry bug pic... bed bug? Crab louse? Other ???
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ruryryry
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
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Edible crab louse
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gaop
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
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Giant Louse, Eels, and Crabs form a ball of death to consume a tuna! youtu.be/xeOSXtBCY30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GypsyGold
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2017
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Northern Illinois. Is this a crab spider? Or maybe a strangely colored wood louse spider? imgur.com/pjKwhpL
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πŸ‘€︎ u/quizzicalquow
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2016
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I'd Rather Have Lobsters On My Piano, Than Crabs On My Organ (microscopic view of pubic louse).
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shamuri74
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2015
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[REQUEST] Burkhart, C.N., and C. G. Burkhart. "Return of the silent merengue: The crab louse." INFECTIONS IN MEDICINE 16.3 (1999): 182
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thexavier
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2013
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TIL people can get a crab (louse) infestation in their eye lashes. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cra…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jenni-o
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2012
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The god of monsters, f'e'd'oras, n'ec'k'b'ea'r'ds, fire, crabs, and triangles in my world, D'ec'aabu'lous'amlado'nyon
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dragon789010
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2017
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This is what a louse looks like clinging to the scalp, seen through a scanning electron microscope
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gerazioio
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2021
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SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anywhereiroa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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Blind Girl Here. Give Me Your Best Blind Jokes!

Do your worst!

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leckzsluthor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2022
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This subreddit is 10 years old now.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/frexyincdude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies πŸ˜‚

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vegetable-Acadia
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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What starts with a W and ends with a T

It really does, I swear!

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PsychedeIic_Sheep
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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What is a a bisexual person doing when they’re not dating anybody?

They’re on standbi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toby-the-Cactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
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Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete?

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eoussama
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
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Geddit? No? Only me?
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shampy311
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2021
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I wanna hear your best airplane puns.

Pilot on me!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paulie_Felice
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2022
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E or ß?
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amazekam
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
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What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?

Nothing, he was gladiator.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rj104
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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Pun intended.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sharmaji1301
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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No spoilers
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Onfour
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2022
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Covid problems
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theincrediblebou
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
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These aren't dad jokes...

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lance986
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2021
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I had a vasectomy because I didn’t want any kids.

When I got home, they were still there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/demotrek
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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What did 0 say to 8 ?

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/designjeevan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
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Spi__
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fast_Echidna_8520
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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I dislike karma whores who make posts that imply it's their cake day, simply for upvotes.

I won't be doing that today!

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djcarves
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2021
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The Ancient Romans II
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mordrathe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2021
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I'd like to dedicate this joke to my wisdom teeth.

[Removed]

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThoughtPumP
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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Where do you find a cow with no legs?

Where ever you left it πŸ€·β€β™€οΈπŸ€­

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kitkatty0309
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2022
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I did it, I finally did it. After 4 years and 92 days I went from being a father, to a dad.

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sk2ec
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2022
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Head lice [source in comment]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anon_Ymou5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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It this sub dead?

There hasn't been a post all year!

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTreelo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2022
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How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in your frying pan?

You take away their little brooms

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Majorpain2006
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2022
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School Was Clothed
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kennydoe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2022
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