My embarrassing hobby is covering the fifth letter of the alphabet in a thin layer of gold …

It's a gilt-E pleasure.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
🚨︎ report
I think my wife is covering my rifle collection with glue.

She's denying it, but I'm sticking to my guns.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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I'm thinking about covering the outside of my house in unhatched chickens

My wife says it will look too boring, but I think it will be egg siding.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/degggendorf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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I’m looking for some kind of outer covering for muscles and bones.

Not for me. A skin for a friend.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/donkeyknuckles
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
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Some people think it's okay to wear your mask over your mouth while not covering your nose.

They're mouthbreathers.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZilchIJK
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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I'm still figuring out how to properly wear a face covering. Before I could master the art I was robbed of my beloved mask...

It was stolen from right under my nose.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ramzert
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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I've finally given up on finding a name for my window coverings made from bug spray...

I call the search Off! It's curtains for that quest!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
My anatomy class is currently covering the skeletal system and my professor is being unreasonable with the amount of material we need to know so I made an office hour appointment to speak with him.

You can bet your ass I have a bone to pick with him.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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Wolverine walks in on Jean Grey sneezing without covering her mouth..

...and says, "Hygiene".

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/r1pen
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone recently came back from surgery after an accident with their eye. They got a new eye and a mechanical cover that can shine light while covering the eye

The doctors called it eyeLEDs

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TestSubject_02
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What is it called when a bunch of people in face coverings leave a building?

Mask exodus

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jtnels0
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
My anatomy class is covering the nervous system and I don't get any of this stuff.

It's so nerve-wracking.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I was carrying a bowl of chili from the kitchen and my dog ran in and caused me to drop the entire bowl on top of him, covering him in chili.

Now he’s a chili dog.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/superbrooke
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend told me a joke about the covering of the iris. Sure, I laughed...

But it was cornea as ever.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
2 Detectives are covering a case with a farmer

Detective 1: explain what happened please

Farmer: someone has been stealing my radishes for the past 2 months!

Detective 1: what do you think detective 2?

Detective 2: idk Beets me...

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Went to my date’s house after dinner last night and saw she had a Soviet flag covering the entire wall

I knew that was a big red flag

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smoothmcdoodles
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm thinking of buying protective coverings for all my windows

I shutter to think of the cost

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
For the last two weeks I've been walking around dressed in cladding and rubber pipe covering. /r/Jokes/comments/fnqw1l/…
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mykeuk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I have some deep-seated regret for covering my organs in gold.

I have internalized gilt.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastGhost18
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
If you are smothered by hanging window coverings with no chance of escape...

...it's curtain death for you.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I never knew covering up my bald spot would cost so much.

But it's a price I'm willing toupΓ©e.

πŸ‘︎ 131
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lucifer9845
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I was told off by my fellow hikers for covering my walking stick in dried grapes.

Well, now I'm raisin cane!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/garbagearmy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I just invented a machine that trims window coverings.

Prepare to have your blinds mowed.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2017
🚨︎ report

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