Counted Puns

A list of puns related to "Counted"

I went to the beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13. "Sir, you gave me an extra."

"That's a freebie."

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👤︎ u/sometimes-somewhere
📅︎ Sep 23 2020
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I went into a pet shop and asked for twelve bees. The shopkeeper counted out thirteen and handed them over.

Me- “You gave me one too many”

Shopkeeper- “that one is a freebie”

👍︎ 907
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👤︎ u/shadynasty94
📅︎ Jun 13 2020
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I went to buy some bees from a beekeeper, I asked him for 100 bees and he counted out 110. I said "No, no that's too many" He replied...

"Dont worry, those are freebees"

👍︎ 8
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👤︎ u/StonleyLoner319
📅︎ Sep 23 2020
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A magician stood in front of a crowd and claimed that he could disappear. He counted, “Uno..dos..” and was suddenly gone.

He disappeared without a tres.

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👤︎ u/LeopardusMaximus
📅︎ Mar 30 2020
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I counted my piggy bank today. Some would say $100 is a lot of money,

But it’s just change to me!

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👤︎ u/RastaTeddyBear
📅︎ Mar 11 2020
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A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them.

When he rounded them up, he had 200.

👍︎ 27
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👤︎ u/labink
📅︎ Jul 22 2019
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I opened a book and counted the average value of how many times the letters A to M appear in each page of the book. After getting the results, I threw them away.

They are only means to an N.

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👤︎ u/Sodrohu
📅︎ Dec 17 2019
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A cowboy counted 48 horses on his property, but when he rounded them up...

he had 50.

👍︎ 30
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👤︎ u/phillydog1
📅︎ Oct 11 2019
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I went into a pet shop and asked for twelve bees. The shopkeeper counted out thirteen and handed them over. reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
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👤︎ u/blazinfastjohny
📅︎ Jul 30 2019
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A Spanish magician was preforming a magic trick he counted to three in Spanish uno dos and he was gone without a tres
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👤︎ u/benjernon
📅︎ Jul 10 2019
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I counted up all of my toes

I got ten in toetal

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/Not-Trump007
📅︎ Jul 03 2019
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A farmer and his dog are herding sheep. They finish and his dog says "I counted 40 sheep". The farmer replies, "That's odd I only got 37.”

The dog replies "I rounded them up".

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👤︎ u/zortor
📅︎ Jul 28 2018
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I've counted at least two dozen lamp stores near my house...

I don't know how they all keep the lights on

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👤︎ u/ctr2010
📅︎ Jul 16 2017
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A friend of mine was saying that touching his toes counted as a workout

I thought it was a bit of a stretch

👍︎ 10
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👤︎ u/54m
📅︎ Sep 11 2016
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BIL was telling us about one of his exes who counted everything. In fact, her incessant counting was a factor in the breakup.

FIL quips "I wonder what she's up to."

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👤︎ u/voidbender
📅︎ Nov 25 2016
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A farmer counted 387 cows in his field.

But when he rounded them up he had 400.

👍︎ 220
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👤︎ u/OraDr8
📅︎ Mar 18 2019
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I went into a pet shop and asked for 12 bees. The owner counted out 13 and gave them to me. I told him, "you gave me 1 too many." He responded...

That one is a freebie

👍︎ 8
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👤︎ u/Slntrob
📅︎ Aug 08 2019
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I went into a pet shop and asked for a dozen bees. The shopkeeper counted out thirteen and handed them over.

"You've given me one too many." "That one is a freebie."

👍︎ 7
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👤︎ u/sirlukethemodest
📅︎ Aug 20 2019
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A Spanish magician says he can make himself disappear. He counted uno, dos... and poof!

He was gone without a tres.

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/SnoopFrawgyFrawg
📅︎ Jun 20 2018
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a farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them

but when he rounded them up he had 200

👍︎ 7
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👤︎ u/citizenkraft
📅︎ May 27 2016
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