Whats the one thing in life you can always count on?
A Mexican magician tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of 3.
He says, “uno, dos..” and then POOF he disappeared without a tres…
So there’s this Spanish magician. His main trick was performing a spectacular vanishing act. He said that he’d vanish on the count of three. “Uno” “Dos”
And then he vanished, without a tres.
Why do mission controllers count down on takeoff?
If they counted up the space shuttle would never take off.
Did you hear the one about the Mexican Magician? He announced to his audience: "For my final illusion, I will make myself vanish on the count of three…"
"… UNO! DOS!" *POOF* And he vanished without a Tres.
I got a new tattoo because I wanted my friends to be able to count on me.
It read: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
In these hard times of 2020, I know two things you can always count on,
A calculator and an abacus....
All my Canadian friends don't think they can count on me...
but I know Yukon count on me because I'm having Nunavut.
I can count on one hand how many times I've visited Chernobyl
A good Knight should make sure they have a weapon that they can count on
I would like to thank my arms for always being at my side, my legs for supporting me, and my fingers because i could count on them
Dors this count? Found on teabags in France.
First time on this subreddit, does this count?
My dad asked me to post this on here so I guess it counts as a 'dad joke'
I was reading some dad jokes to him from here and earlier today he insisted that I post about 'cup of joy' on here.
When he was a kid, he and his brother would fart in their hands, keep it closed, release it into each other's faces, and say 'cup of joy'.
He cracks up every time he tells someone about it and he talks about it A LOT.
First post btw :)
You can always count on my dad to respond to everything with a dad joke.
So my mom has a phobia of mice and she found one in my old room (I’m away at college). My dad said he would “take care of it”, which he did, but then the cat killed another one and so she’s upset and was texting my dad things like “I can’t live here knowing there’s mice, it’s been nice knowing you.” And my dad’s first response was “you saying it’s been mice knowing me?” Such a classic dad move, I laughed so hard even though I probably shouldn’t have.
Does this bench on Pokémon Go count?
Found on my math homework. Don’t know if this counts as a pun (the town of Notreal)
The name of the man you can count on the most ?
Why should you never count your money while standing on an ant hill?
You might finance in your pants!
A spanish-speaking magician says he's going to disappear on the count of three
Hey says "1... 2..."
and then he disappears without a tres.
It's my first time posting here on r/dadjokes. Does this count?
A Mexican magician told his audience he would disappear on the count of three. He says “Uno...Dos...” *POOF*
...he disappeared without a Très
A Spanish-speaking magician announced that would disappear on the count of three. "Uno...dos...." POOF!
He disappeared without a tres.
A Spanish-speaking magician announced that he would disappear on the count of three. "Uno...dos..." POOF!!
He disappeared without a tres.
A Mexican magician said he will disappear on the count of three
Uno.... Dos..... Poof
He disappeared without a tres
A Mexican magician said that he could disappear on the count of three. He started "unos, dos.."
But then he disappeared without a tres...
There was a Mexican magician who said "I will disappear on the count of 3"! The crowd was silent. He began to count. "Uno... Dos...
and the magician disappeared, with out a trace.
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three.
Uno, dos... poof. He disappeared without a tres.
The Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three
He disappeared without a tres
I can count the number of times I’ve been to Chernobyl on one hand.
I can count on one hand how many times I visited Chernobyl
A Mexican magician told his audience that he would vanish on the count of 3. Uno, dos and he disappeared without a tres...
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says “Uno, dos,” *poof*
...he disappeared without a tres
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says "uno, dos, ..." *POOF!*
He disappeared without a tres.
(I'll see myself out)
A Mexican magician tells his audience he will disappear on the count of 3.
He says "uno, dos..."
poof ...He disappeared without a tres.
A mexican magician claims he will disappear on the count of three.
"Uno, dos.." and poof! He disappears without a tres
A Mexican magician tells his audience he’ll disappear on the count of three
He counts “Uno, dos....” and poof, he’s gone without a tres.
A Mexican magician tells the audience "I will disappear on the count of 3..."
He says, "Uno, dos..." poof... And he disappeared without a tres.
I can count on one hand the number of times I've been to Chernobyl...
Call me abacus, because you can count on me.
If there’s one thing in life I can count on, it’s an abacus.
There was a Spanish speaking magician, who said he was going to disappear on the count of 3.
"Uno.... Dos.... POOF he disappeared without a tres.
I can count the amount of times Ive been to Chernobyl on one hand
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