Viscous
My reply: I dough know
Got a solid eyeroll for that one!
The Pillsbury Doughboy, remembered best as "Pop N Serve", and/or "Pop N Fresh", died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy will be buried in this lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities will turn out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.
The grave site is expected to be piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima will deliver the eulogy and lovingly describe Doughboy as "a man who never knew how much he was kneaded".
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.. He was considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.
Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop tart.
The funeral will be held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
I'm really proud of this one.
I'm at my desk while my wife's baking cookies in the kitchen, just around the corner. I heard a metallic snapping sound followed shortly by an “Oh no!”, so I called out:
> "What's wrong?"
> “I broke my whisk!”
> "Oh, that sucks."
> “It was my favorite one!”
See it coming yet?
> "Well, then that's a whisk we're just gonna have to tape."
We have ice cream flavors like Mint to Be (Oreo mint) and Brownie Eyed Girl (chocolate Brownie, brides flavor) but need help for a name for vanilla cookie dough. It’s the grooms flavor, his name is Chris if that helps. THANKS REDDIT
He said they ran out, but they have 2 slices of cookie dough
1. What is the most important drink in life?
Vitali-tea.
2. What do you call an uptight man with wet tapestry?
A wet blanket with a wet blanket.
3. Describe an uptight man with an erection holding an alcoholic beverage.
A stiff with a stiff with a stiff.
4. What do you call introverted window blinds?
A shutter-in.
5. What do you call an uncooked deer cookie?
Dat doe dough 'dough.
6. What do you call a plant's religion?
Agri-culture.
7. What do you call a football players' phone charger?
A Charger's phone charger.
8. What do you call a clock tower striking twelve?
High noon.
That's all I got.
Me: “want to make some cookies this weekend?”
My wife: “sure, we can add it to the to-dough-list”
Friends and I are playing Mario Kart 64. Friends' dad comes in.
"Who wants icecream??"
All of us "Me me I do!"
"What flavors do you want?"
"Cookie dough!"
"Rock Road!"
"Strawberry!"
"Ok, I was just wondering."
My father in-law gets a fortune cookie that is dad joke worthy by itself: " Good bakers always make plenty of dough." My sister in-laws husband, who is a new father himself fires back, "thats because they knead it." I congratulated him on fully realizing his new dad joke abilities, then promptly posted this here as any good Redditor should.
Sitting in the kitchen talking about oysters for Christmas Eve dinner and mother is rolling dough for christmas cookies.
Mom: Man, oysters are really expensive. Me: I bet those oysters are gonna cost you a few clams (Granda sees mom struggling with dough) Grandma: You're sure gonna have some mussels by the time you're done with that dough
Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died Wednesday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. He was buried Friday in one of the biggest funerals in years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies. The graveside was piled high with flours, as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew he was kneaded". Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a smart cookie, and wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model to millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife. They had two children, and one in the oven. The funeral was at 3:50 for 20 minutes.
