Tried committing suicide last night...
Never doing that again, I could've killed myself!
An avocado thief was caught committing a crime...
I heard they tried to get away ,but they didn’t av a car doe...
I had a dream where I was a wharf accused by the state of committing a crime...
I had a right to trial with a jury of my piers.
Chinese man committing crime in a multi story car park...
It’s Wong on so many levels.
Recently, a pencil was accused of committing several crimes
The pencil is going 2B in a very big pencil case
A train conductor gets arrested for committing crimes in his home town...
The judge wants to know his local motive.
What does a soup wear while committing a crime?
Saved my GF from committing fraud with a dadjoke
GF: "I saw where the key to the cash lockbox is. Let's steal the money."
Me: "Don't be petty"
Guy goes to the library and asks the librarian for a book about how to commit suicide.
She says, “Absolutely not. I know you’re not gonna return it.”
What do you call a crime, committed by a fruit?
After your uncles wife commits arson
I kneaded you, but you weren't bready for the commitment.
Did y'all hear that Thanos has been committed to an insane asylum?
If you commit 90 sins, you will only get caught half the time.
My left knee has never committed a crime.
I can’t say the same for his felony.
If your dog shakes hands with your enemy, has he committed a foe paw?
(An old one) Why is 6 afraid of 7?
What do you call a crime committed using a Su-57?
Why did the chicken commit suicide?
What happens after an alligator commits a crime?
If you commit a 1st degree murder in Canada
is it a 34 degree murder in the US?
What do you call a bird that has committed a crime?
What happened when the leader of Russia committed a crime?
How did Hitler know it was time to commit sucide.
I arrested the man who proposed to my daughter.
He committed a fell-on-knee.
What do you call someone who commits arson in late November?
The author of Webster's dictionary committed suicide with the book he wrote.
At least he died on his own terms.
Why did the math book commit suicide?
Because he had a lot of problems.
What crime did a test commit?
It didn't commit a crime, the teacher just told me to turn it in.
Schrodinger’s Cat has committed unforgivable crimes.
He is wanted dead and alive.
What do you call a group of ravens trying bring crows together?
A conspiracy to commit murder.
Why did the french chef committed suicide??
He lost his huile d'olive
I got arrested for having one sodium atom and one chlorine atom
They said I committed a salt
In response to the American coin shortage, Canada has committed to providing the U.S. aid
If you get released from a mental institutional, and then get committed again-
How did the Japanese mathematician die?
What does Venom use to commit crimes online?
Did you hear about the Italian who committed identity theft?
Police say he was an impasta
What do you call a crime committed by a cat?
What crime did the forest commit?
A policeman pulled me over the other day and started crying as he was writing me a traffic ticket. I asked him why was he crying?
He said it was because I committed a moving violation.
I have commited several war crimes in uzbeckistan and am giving myself in for gassing hundreids of civillian houses
How did the Nike’s employee die?
Why did the train conductor commit a crazy crime?
Because he had a Loco-motive
I committed Seppuku once. I don't think I have the guts to do it again.
Seppuku is the suicidal act of stabbing yourself in the stomach.
If you commit 90 sins, you will get caught about half the time.
Why did the chicken commit suicide?
To get to the other side.
Did you hear that Thanos was committed to an insane asylum? It's true.
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