My friend got a random nosebleed and commented how wierd it is that blood tastes metalic.
I said "yeah its pretty ironic"
One night at the dinner table, my wife commented,
When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller. You don't love me any more..."
"Nonsense, darling," I replied "you just cook better now."
My youngest daughter’s joke tonight: When listening to the radio together, I commented, “This is my favorite Christmas song.” She responds, “No it’s not! Your favorite Christmas song is…
Feliz NaviDAD! It’s got your name in it!”
True story... A few years ago I was spending time with my parents and nephew. There's a pie in the oven and my nephew had an unfinished apple on the table. My nephew said he wanted some pie, but my dad commented on the half-eaten apple on the table.
I told my dad, "I think he just lost his appletite."
I wrote an article on punk music and my dad commented...
I picked up my newborn daughter to stop her crying. Mother-in-law commented- "Wow, she really settled for you quickly!"
In a recent interview with David Draiman a reporter commented on his remarkable quarantine weight gain.
Disturbed's lead singer just laughed like a monkey and said he was "down with the thiccness."
A lady at work commented on the holes in my jumper.
I replied ‘Darn it Sharon’
This lady just walked up to me, asked if I remembered meeting her and oddly she commented on being a vegetarian.
I'm sure I never met herbivore.
So someone commented on my yt channel...
The other day I was walking down the street and I commented that I like someone’s spunky shoes. 10 minutes later I passed her again and she gave me a $5 bill she found on the ground.
That’s karma in real life
I went for a walk with my pregnant wife last night who commented that it felt nice since there was no sun.
Me: "Of course there isn't. The doctor already said we're having a girl."
My husband and I were reminiscing about his grandma. "She was a great grandma," He said. "She was a grandma too," I commented. "Huh?"
"She was a great-grandma and a grandma."
The news just commented on the outbreak of measles and those who don't get vaccinated.
Those people make me sick...
Some people have commented that I smell like coins
I tell them it's my natural cent
On a drive through Utah my girlfriend commented on how beautiful the plateaus are.
I replied, “Ain’t it a butte?”
We were driving through Quebec when my wife commented on how cool it was that the highway signs were in two languages, English and French.
I said, "well, it's still all just written in sign language"
Someone commented on how good the homemade croutons we were eating tasted...
I replied, "Yes, they certainly stand up to all scroutony!"
At an antique store today with my grandfather I picked up a cast-iron candelabra and commented on how heavy it was...
He turned to me, gave a knowing smile and said; 'Don't worry - it gets lighter when you put some candles in it.'
He's the best.
A Target cashier commented on my purchase
I was buying Goat Simulator as a gag gift for a friend. The cashier looks at it and I smile uncomfortably. He says, "Don't be sheepish about buying this".
I was doing laundry and commented on how many pairs of pants my boyfriend has. . .
He said "I'm a man of many pants". To which I replied "so is Pete(our dog)." My boyfriend just tells me not to talk to him.
once I commented to my dad about how funny I am..
And 'e says to me 'e says, "just remember son, looks aren't everything."
Saw a manhole today that was unusually oversized, and my wife commented on the fact
I said that it must be a "men hole"
Friend's dad commented on my dad's Facebook post
My dad posted a picture on Facebook, which was just the following text:
> "Save the Earth, it's the only planet with chocolate!"
My friend's dad comments:
>"What about Mars?"
Dad next to me at the movies commented this
"Dad, what's the movie about?"
"It's about two bankers on a conference call... 'Interteller'
Wife and I were watching Micheal Moore on TV. She commented he was getting odder.
I said soon he will be swimming on his back and cracking clams on his stomach.
I was making a sandwich for dinner and commented to her that we were running low on lettuce.
"I thought we got a head?"
And I sadly had to reply, "We're no longer ahead. We're behind."
The response was a sigh and a quiet, "Oh, god..."
What did the farmer say to the plumber when he commented on the size of his pipe?
"I'm a grower, not a shower."
Went hiking with my dad when he commented on my tattoos.
"I don't understand how you can wear long sleeves in this weather."
One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, 'When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger.
Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller.
Don't love me anymore?'
'Nonsense, darling,' replied the husband, 'you just cook better now.'
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