What’s the most comforting rock
I find sliced butter very comforting
It's like: pat, pat... pat, pat.
Was comforting a grammar nazi...
What do you call it when a marketing genius is comfortable in bed?
Why is it more comfortable to have no shine in your hair?
Because then you'd have a matte tress.
Everyone seems to think next year will bring back some comforts of normalcy
I’m not so convinced though since 2021 is guaranteed to be an odd year
My cat is so comfortable he went into a comma
I read that Shakira struggles to sleep and get comfortable in bed.
Apparently its because her hips don’t lie
My girlfriend and I always disagree whether tea or coffee is superior, she said tea will always be there to comfort you, I said...
I went to a restaurant and when I sat down the waiter asked "comfortable"?
I finally managed to take the perfect nude and felt comfortable sending it to my wife
My secretary looked extra beautiful in that light and atmosphere!
I will have a very comfortable corpse bed when I die
It will be memory foam
I have strong memories
Why couldn't the meteor sit down comfortably?
What did the officer say to comfort the foreigner he was arresting?
Don’t worry! These cuffs were designed for two-wrists.
I’ve heard southern comfort is nice,
Because normal comfort just tastes like fabric softener!
My daughter wants a boyfriend, but hasn't been asked out yet. To comfort her, I bought her a little lamb, and named it "Relation".
It's officially her first relationsheep.
My girlfriend and I bought a new mattress. When we got home and set it up, we were unsure about whether or not it would be comfortable enough.
She said, “Let’s sleep on it.”
I wrote a book about the most comfortable ways to sleep in a coffin.
They wouldn't publish it though, the publisher said that the intended audience was a dead market.
I hear that Neil Armstrong was very comfortable when he landed on the Moon.
And from the pictures I saw, his suit does seem like it has a lot of space inside
He’s feline a lot more comfortable.
Too many apostrophes for comfort.
My friend was struggling with English grammar.
To comfort him, I replied with: "There, their, they're."
Why was the writer comfortable in the army?
He was familiar with the magazines.
I wasn’t sure how comfortable my new couch would be.
Keep safe during this pandemic and use an old padded bra to make yourself a comfortable mask. Just make sure you use the left cup...
Because if you use the right one you will look like a right tit.
What do you say to comfort an English teacher?
Wow I was a wreck last night -- t-shirt under sweat clothes, under two cotton sheets, under a polypropylene comforter, and a quilt on top of that! I could NOT get warm!
I can't imagine how miserable I'd be if I didn't have that can of Pringles in the cupboard....
What do you call a cow that's comfortable to sit and relax on?
My son asked me, “Because of the pandemic, I’m on the computer 12 hours a day. Is that bad?”
Me: That can’t be comfortable. Try a chair instead.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender says, “What’s with the steering wheel? That can’t be very comfortable.”
The pirate replies, “Aye, it’s driving me nuts.”
What do you say to comfort a grammar teacher?
I was standing at the urinals
when a fella stepped up to the short one next to me and said, “I’ve never seen one of these so low!” To which I replied, “and you can finally pee in comfort, right?”
The most ComForTable part of a conference room
How do you comfort a grammar nazi?
You pat them on the back and say their, there, they’re.
My friend said you need £250,000 to comfortably raise a baby.
Although in my experience, you only need two arms.
I wasn’t sure how comfortable my new couch would be.
I wasn’t too sure how comfortable my new couch would be.
What do you say to comfort an English teacher?
How do you comfort a grammar nazi?
There their, they’re there
What do you call it when a marketing genius is comfortable in bed?
How do you comfort a grammar nazi?
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