A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
Ladies and gentlemen, a classic pun right here
It's bean long since I've heard a classic pun.
Classic puns are passed around and around...
Some might call it the Circle of Laugh.
Especially in the Deep South.
What did the classical composer say to his student?
Don’t fix it if it ain’t baroque.
What do you call someone who pretends to love classical music?
Where in the vintage vinyl store does the Terminator direct you for classic baroque records?
A childhood classic my dad used to tell me:
Q. Why was a frog flying?A. Because he ate a helium baloon.Q. Then why was a snake flying?A. Because it ate the flying frog.Q. Then why was the eagle flying?A. Because it has wings
Saw a new spin on a classic boardgame. You play as punctuation waging war against each other across the English language.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Mom does the classic stud finder joke anytime we need to use it for hanging heavier pictures on the drywall.
holds up against dad’s urn
Beeeeep
“Yep, still works!”
Where should you keep your classical music sheets?
What do you give a cannibal that’s late to dinner?
What was the name ofthe classic movie about Mario and Luigi building a scaffold?
Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
I was playing classical music at a disco called Sam Frank's. It was an odd gig and even I forgot my instrument.
Yes, I left my harp in Sam Frank's Disco.
classic, my kids hate this one.
Son "Hey Dad, want anything from the shop?"
Dad "The contents of the till please!"
In the classic story of the tortoise and the hare, what was the tortoise's name?
The Terminator apparently likes classical music. He told me that "he'll be Bach"
That's when I'll be Haydn!
What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A classics professor goes to the tailor to have his trousers mended.
The tailor says, "Euripides?"
The professor replies, "Yes, Eumenides?"
I once ate a cherry stem and it came out the other end tied
So these two muffins are sitting in an oven …
One muffin says, “Man, it sure is getting hot in here.”
The other muffin says, “HOLY CRAP! A talking muffin!”
whoever did this is going to be in treble.
A Canadian visits America and gets held at gunpoint, the thief says, "Give me all your money and I'll let you live!"
The Canadian replied gleefully, "Oh! You must be what they call a doctor!"
They’ve just launched a streaming service for classical concerts…
I, for one, am really looking forward to clarinetflix.
I've had enough. I'm leaving this sub...
...in the fridge. I shouldn't have ordered a foot long.
I haven’t spoken to my wife in ten years.
She hates it when I interrupt her.
The wedding was so beautiful.
Even the cake was in tiers.
My 8 yo son just hit me with a classic dad joke and i didn't even see it coming!
I'm sitting here scrolling reddit when my son casually strolls out of his room into the kitchen...
Him: (knocks on the fridge door)
Me: (genuinely confused) what are you doing?!?
Him: Knocking on the fridge door
Me: Why?
Him: Just in case there is salad dressing in there...
It's a lame dad joke i know, but his execution was so spot on i couldn't help but laugh out loud.
Pulled off a classic today
So at work I got on my normal elevator and a young gal flagged us down. We did the normal small talk and she mentioned she gets very nervous on elevators. My co-worker mentioned they're better then all those stairs. Like Jesus himself giving me a layup.
l bought a classic Lada but I seem to have problems keeping it running
My neighbor is a 90 year old with Alzheimer's, I see him every morning and he asks me If I've seen his wife. Every day I have to tell this poor man that his wife died 20 years ago. I could have moved to another house or even ignore his question.
But the look of joy in his eyes whenever I answer him is worth the world.
Did you hear about the classical music concert at the bottom of the sea?
All the pieces are being played in C flat
That’s what I call a classic fairytale….
I was dating this girl who was always, ALWAYS counting. I had to break up with her.
That was a few years ago. I just wonder what she's up to now.
Sugar cane is the sweetest cane, walking cane is the slowest cane. What is the fastest cane?
What did Beethoven say when he was finished?
I don't trust stairs.
They're always up to something.
(New dad here! Instincts are kicking in)
Cop: "are you high?" guy: "am I what?" cop: "high"
I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised I picked up a stranger and asked. “Thanks but why’d you pick me up? How do you know I’m not a serial killer?”
I told him the chances of two serial killers in one car would be astronomical.
Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditioned it.
What did the classical composer say to his student?
Don’t fix it if it ain’t baroque.
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