<my 12 y.o. daughter> "What? What?"
-- I tell the joke --
<my daughter> --eyeroll-- "You need to stop laughing at jokes that aren't funny!"
I am sure he is real proud if this one 🙄
https://imgur.com/gallery/CRiGc
"Got an order! Nacho chicken!" Whose is it?!
"Got an order! Nacho chicken!" We know that already!
"Got an order! Nacho chicken!" So whose is it?!
"Got an order! Nachos!" Of course not! It's the customer's!
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
It's immaculate.
I work in sales at a car dealership. Old man drives on lot. me: "sir do you need a hand?" old man: "no thanks, I've got two"
I chuckled with him.
"It’s pasture bedtime!”
"Stairs don't talk!"
"Well, at least you could try."
"Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder!"
Can't believe I've spent all that money and have nothing to chauffer it.
(Gal)lons
It's my dry cents of humor
It’s mail-dominated.
I never knew she sold flowers!
He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history. He sadly ran out of thyme.
I really wish he would stop laughing at me expense.
The water break...
Said this during a hike so it was all the more sweeter to hear the only two dad's chuckle.
So when they get back to port they can Scandinavian!
We’ve been hanging out with family this weekend, my daughter comes up to me looking for her cousin.
Her: “Where’s Noah?”
Me: “I have Noah-dea”
Cue laugh from the daughter, groans from the adults.
“Listen! You never listen!”
But China got it right off the bat.
A Mathemachicken
"This is my hip replacement!"
No pun in ten did.
"I have no son"
"Thanks for supporting me"
I'm sure this has been done but it got a chuckle out of me
Edit wow, I wasn't expecting an award. Thank you kind stranger!
Turnsout, someone told him that the nearby Delhi has the best sandwiches
True story, I work in the health industry, get to ask these questions from time to time:
Me: Good morning (of course no matter what time of day it is)! I have 4 questions for you, let’s see if you studied for the test...
Patient: (most of the time, chuckle)
Me: Have you had a fever in the last 48 hours?
Patient: No
Me: Have you had a persistent cough recently?
Patient: No
Me: Have you been tested for COVID-19 recently?
Patient (sometimes): Yes
Me: Do you know the results of the test?
Patient (about 85% of the time): Negative
Me: You don’t know the results of the test? (Straight face behind mask)
Patient: It was negative
Me: (smile and chuckle showing through mask)
Patient: Ohhhh! I get it! (Laughs 95% of the time)
Me: Dad jokes have to happen... 🙂
/insert question #4 here, unrelated to said joke... heh
That is why they call him napoleon boney parts.
It was always just one ting after another.
Edit: Thanks for all the positive reactions to this joke. I’m glad I could make a few of you chuckle today.
An orca-stra.
It was rough.
When I was 15 there was a Home Depot bucket next to the front door for a while. One night I was watching tv with my mom. She was laying on the couch and I was laying on the floor.
My dad got home from work and as he was taking off his boots he asked “Hey, where did that Home Depot bucket come from?” And without skipping a beat I said “I don’t know. Home Depot?” My mom laughed so hard and my dad was pissed. I got grounded for a week for “being a smart ass”.
I’m now 26 and to this day when my dad and I go to Home Depot I always chuckle and point to the buckets and ask “Hey dad, where do you think those come from.”
On one of these trips I picked one up and was examining it when my dad asked me what I was looking for. I turned the bucket upside down and said “Well would you look at that dad. They’re from Lowe’s.” I thought he was gonna knock my ass out right there.
TLDR: My dad: “Where did that Home Depot bucket come from?” Me: “I don’t know. Home Depot?”
.. you'll just have to learn to be a little patient.
The laughing stock exchange
