Just a routine CAT scan
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VoodooChild-666
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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Comment from a thread on cat scans
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheManicMonocle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
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when your dad is a doctor - Dogs can’t go through MRI’s. But cat scan!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlphaAxel
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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But do they do cat scans? If they say they do, but don't, they're lion.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yugvijay
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2018
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πŸ‘€︎ u/layover_guy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2016
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My Dad had a procedure done a few weeks ago and told me he was in the hospital for a follow up cat scan.

I interrupted and asked if he remembered what type of cat.

[Yes, I used a dad joke on my dad. He taught me well.]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dances_w_vowels
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2017
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kosmozoan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2015
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeanzl
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2014
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Mom asks dad when her cat scan appointment is . .

Dad: ''I'm doing a cat scan right now. Points to cats as he scans kitchen 1, 2.''

This was about ten years ago. It's still a classic!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SockDance
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2014
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A man takes his sick Chihuahua to the veterinarian.

They’re immediately taken back to a room.

Soon, a Labrador walks in, sniffs the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Finally, the doctor
comes in, prescribes some medicine and hands the man a $250 bill.

β€œThis must be a mistake,” the man says. β€œI’ve been here only 20 minutes!”

β€œNo mistake,” the doctor says. β€œIt’s $100 for the lab test, $100 for the cat scan and $50 for the medicine.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LucianoMercuri__
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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I'm worried my dog may have COVID-19

The Lab test came back positive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AvidasOfficial
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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Dogs can’t operate MRI machines...

But CAT scan.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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JOKES NEEDED! CREDIT GIVEN

So basically I own a Bookshop and I'm wanting to have a Book joke board, so please send me your jokes that I can write on it (credit will be given, needs to be family friendly)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WRJames97
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2018
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I took my cat to the vet today

He was not feline well

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vallendusk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2016
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Got my girlfriend and her roommates today with some MRI related humor.

My girlfriend's friend was going to get an MRI scan and was nervous. I decided to lighten the mood.

Me: Did you know that dogs can't get MRI's?

GF and friends: Really?

Me: No, but cat's can.

They told me leave.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/duce01
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2015
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Did you know when an animal is injured at the zoo, they take it to the tiger enclosure?

Well yeah! That's where all the big CAT scans are done

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBaldNerd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
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Got my dog a check up at the vet today.

They said they needed a CAT scan

CAT scan came back negative.

Dog confirmed not a cat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nikoloy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
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At a restaurant, on a first date:

Her: Do you prefer cats or dogs?

Me, scanning the menu: What page are you on?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
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Cracked myself up earlier...wife just groaned.

2 year old wanted to pretend my wife was a doctor and he and I were her patients. Aside from my waggling my eyebrows and telling her I'd play doctor with her later, while we were laying on the ground, our cat came up and started sniffing me.

I told my wife that I didn't consent to the CAT scan.

Now she needs a doctor after her eyes rolled out of her head.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lereas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2016
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I took my cat to the vet the other day...

and I asked the veterinarian, "do you offer CAT scans?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TumblingFox
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2017
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Dogs can't do X-rays

But a cat scan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wdkrebs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2016
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My uncle texted this to my cousin

Uncle: "So I just got back from my CAT scan"

Cousin: "Yeah? How'd it go?"

Uncle: "They couldn't find any cats."

Cousin: "Ugh.."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uldyr
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2015
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A man walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doc, I'm not feeling well."

The doctor says, "Okay, well have a seat." He then walks out of the room for a moment and comes back with a Labrador Retriever. The dog sniffs him a bit, then the doctor walks him back out of the room with his tail wagging. A couple minutes pass, and the doctor comes back with a cat. He rubs the cat all over the man until it meows, then takes it back out of the room. The doctor then returns and says, "Well, you seem fine to me. That'll be $1000." The man, flabbergasted, yells, "$1000?! There wasn't even anything wrong with me!" The doctor replies, "Well it rounds out to that between the lab work and the cat scan..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JH456
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2015
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Classic dadjoke at the ER

Last night at around midnight, I took my friend/roommate/exboyfriend to the ER when he came literally crawling to my room incoherent and sweating and shaking because of head pain.

When we got there I called his parents to let them know what was going on. They rushed over and met us in his room where the doctor was giving him some neurological tests. The ER doc decided it was most likely a migraine or cluster headache and gave my friend pain medicine and an IV, but wanted to do a CAT scan just to rule out any bleeding.

So they took him off to get the scan, and his parents and I sat around talking. His dad was practically falling asleep in his chair as I had woken them up with my call, but he still managed to drop this one when they wheeled my friend back into the room:

He gave the nurse pushing my friend's cart a worried look. "Don't sugar coat it, did you find any cats in there?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whatthefox1818
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2014
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Just got my grandfather

As he's telling my grandmother about done tests he'll have to have done on his knee he mentioned a PET scan. My grandmother asked what it was and I jumped in just in time to say,

"It's like a CAT scan, but more domesticated."

My grandfather was proud.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2015
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Girlfriends dad.....

My kitten loves to jump onto our printer and just sit there...... He sees this and immediately says..... "oh look.... cat scan"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darth_Grandma
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2014
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My father-in-law got us with a dark one...

My mother-in-law was in the hospital for a week with spinal meningitis (she's fine now, fully recovered). During this hospitalization, the family cat went missing. While my wife and her father were at the hospital taking care of her mum and helping her get tons of tests done every day, one of my evening responsibilities was to go looking for the dang cat.

One evening towards the end of the week, I was updating them on the cat hunt situation, to which her father replied, "I just don't understand it. We've just been through about 6 CAT scans this week and we still can't find the bloody cat!"

...Groans ensued...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justgrant2009
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2014
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When visiting my grandpa in the hospital

I was visiting my grandpa in the hospital and he got a CT Scan and lab work done.

He said: " They ran me over with a Siamese cat and a labrador retriever. "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kidgun
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2014
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Did you know dogs can’t perform an MRI?

But cat scan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trentjt21
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
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A dog can’t operate an MRI machine

But CAT Scan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/barking_oinks
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
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