It was a mist opportunity.
The kid behind the counter said, sorry we only take cash or credit cards
She was checking me out!
ATM
cashiers are always checking me out.
Now I have ten ants.
Doctor has diagnosed I'm suffering from withdrawal symptoms.
Big Farmer
It will help them make a gross profit.
...yes, I was really strapped for cash back then.
100 sows and bucks.
He did a lovely job of the landing.
For Pete's sake, I guess he wants me to pay for it myself!
It folded
(His actual answer): "because you always need to carry a little cash on you."
The Czech Republic
When the authorities searched his freezer, they found nothing but cold hard cash
I told her he is my small arms dealer.
He suggested, the cash machine .
Because they never know when a bit of extra dough might be kneaded!
Background: My family was at the lake today. The lake was a little choppy today so when we went on the boat we hit one really big wave where the front end of the boat came crashing down hard. My nephew (7) just happened to be sitting on a cup holder and it hurt his butt when we landed.
We got back to the house and my nephew said...
Nephew: my butt hurts. I think its broken.
Me: did I ever tell you about the time I broke my butt?
Nephew: no. Is it still broken?
Me: yeah. Thereβs a big crack in it still.
He didnβt get it. But all the other adults laughed/rolled their eyes. Stupid joke I know, but I donβt care.
...a POS?
I just can't think of one atm
A harmoney
He gave me counter fit money.
I canβt think of any atm.
Cashed in their Kreddit!
In his cash shoe.
When he got there, a woman extended her hand.
"Good afternoon, sir," she said. "My name is Patricia Wack. How may I help you today?"
Kermit replied, "Hi-ho, Patricia! I'm Kermit the Frog, and I would like to borrow some money."
They walked over to her desk and sat down.
"Certainly, Mr. Frog--"
"Oh, just call me Kermit."
"Okay... Kermit. How much money would you like to borrow?"
"Ten thousand dollars."
Mildly surprised, Ms. Wack looked intently at Kermit.
"Do you have any references?"
"Well, I suppose I could use my father, Keith Richards."
Ms. Wack froze for a second, then...
"THE Keith Richards?"
"Oh, yes. In fact, he told me he's friends with your manager, which is why I came in here."
"Okay... Do you have any collateral?"
"Excuse me?"
"Collateral. Something of value, like a car, or a boat..."
"Oh, yes! I do have something. I have this."
Kermit reached into his briefcase and placed a small figurine on the desk. Patricia looked curiously at the object, then at our amphibious friend.
"What's this?"
"It's a Hummel."
"A what?"
"A Hummel. They're supposed to be quite valuable. Well, at least this one is to me."
She picked up the Hummel and stood up.
"If you don't mind, I would like to show this to the manager."
"Oh, no! I don't mind at all!"
So, Patricia took the Hummel to the manager's office, knocked on the door, and walked inside.
"Patricia! What can I do for you?"
"Mr. Wilson, there's this... frog named Kermit at my desk, and he wants to borrow $10,000, but he has only this for collateral."
Mr. Wilson looked at the Hummel, then out to her desk.
"I don't see anything out of order here."
"But, Mr. Wilson--"
"Look, it's a knick-knack, Patty Wack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
I made many many many many many money drawings.
In the end he was just throwing money down the drain.
Does that mean I have frozen assets or cold hard cash?
Who's there?
Cash
Cash who?
No thanks but I don't mind peanuts
Wouldn't that be 'money laundering'?
What a half-baked attempt at making dough.
It says press 1 for the money or 2 for the show.
To make a little extra cash he wrote a rhotic r on the side
Did You Knowβ¦
In Las Vegas there are more Catholic Churches than casinos. Not surprisingly some worshipers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.
Since they get chips from many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings. The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed In.
This is done by the chip monks.
He said "Cheque , mate"
Cashier: "Sorry, we only accept cash."
He made a lovely job of the landing.
The Czech Republic
