What country does not accept cash or credit cards ?

The Czech Republic

👍︎ 23
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter received $46 cash in a birthday card

She commented, "that's an odd amount." I told her for being a math honors student, I would think she'd recognize that 46 is an even number.

She rated my comment a 6 out of 10 on the Dad joke scale.

👍︎ 2k
💬︎
📅︎ Feb 24 2016
🚨︎ report
The cashier asked me cash or card...

I asked her

Did you just assume my tender?

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/SaageMage
📅︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I normally pay for my shopping by card, but today I used cash

I wanted to make a change

👍︎ 7
💬︎
👤︎ u/MR-0P
📅︎ Mar 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I accidentally put my donor card in the cash machine the other day.

It cost me an arm and a leg.

👍︎ 14
💬︎
👤︎ u/trajiin
📅︎ Oct 28 2015
🚨︎ report
Me with my friend in a restaurant after finishing food

Waiter asking me how would you like to pay sir? Cash or Card!

Me looking at my friend: PayPal

👍︎ 6
💬︎
👤︎ u/sbbk100
📅︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Hindu man say when his friends invited him to go out?

Namaste home.

👍︎ 2k
💬︎
👤︎ u/boris_keys
📅︎ Feb 04 2017
🚨︎ report
I lost my wallet...

It turned up this morning when I opened up the washing machine. Everything inside (cash, credit card, driver's license) was soaking wet.

Dad: "I'm calling the police."

Me: "Why would you do that?"

Dad: "You're guilty of laundering money."

ahh...

👍︎ 1k
💬︎
📅︎ Aug 11 2013
🚨︎ report
Got dad joked hard while shopping yesterday

My dad and I go up to the cash register at a clothing store to pay for some shorts. My dad asks the cashier "Do you take chips?" (Credit card chip readers) Without hesitation the cashier goes "Yes sir and we have salsa to go with that" and holds up a fresh jar of salsa from behind the register

👍︎ 97
💬︎
👤︎ u/mkgator23
📅︎ Jul 30 2016
🚨︎ report
A duck walks in a pharmacy

A duck walks in a pharmacy and says to the cashier, "I'd like to buy some lip gloss." The cashier nodded and said "Okay. How would you like to pay? Cash or Credit Card?" The duck says "Put it on my bill."

👍︎ 17
💬︎
📅︎ Dec 23 2016
🚨︎ report
Got dadjoked at a restaurant today.

I ordered some ribs for pickup from a little place kind of in the middle of nowhere of the west suburbs of Chicago. When I called my order in I forgot that I needed to ask if they accept credit cards because I rarely carry cash. I got to the the place and I thought that they might only take cash so I asked the guy who looked like he was the owner if they took credit cards. He responded by saying that did and that they even give them back occasionally.

I told him he dadjoked me and we had some banter about what it feels like when you realize that you have become just like your own dad.

👍︎ 64
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 25 2014
🚨︎ report
Some highlights from our family trip last weekend

Oldest son (at a restaurant): do they accept dogs here? Me: no, it's cash or card

Waitress (bringing our after dinner drinks): I have three ports. Me: it was supposed to be two ports and a starboard

Youngest son (while we were driving): look, a cow... nevermind, it's gone Me: yes, we mooooved on...

Me: those plants around the redwoods are ferns Oldest son: they grow really close to the trees Me: yeah, they're really frondly...

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Mar 23 2017
🚨︎ report
Food truck server got me the other day.

Buying from a food truck, so I'd made sure to get cash in case it was cash-only. However, I noticed they had a square plugged into an iPad.

"For future reference, I guess you guys take cards?"

"Yeah, and we give them back, too!"

👍︎ 7
💬︎
📅︎ Aug 16 2016
🚨︎ report
Dad joke at Sonic

Ordered two frozen drinks at Sonic, go to swipe my card and the card-reader is out of order. Girlfriend asks if I have any cash, so I open the ash compartment in my car and pull out a 5 dollar bill.

"I didn't even know you kept money in there!"

"Well you aren't supposed to know about it, just like any good slush fund."

👍︎ 8
💬︎
📅︎ May 09 2014
🚨︎ report
My Dad stole a dead guy's money

talking to my dad about aftermath of Paul Walker's death

ME: I heard his family is making a donation to his disaster relief charity.

DAD: Not if I can help it.

ME: What do you mean?

DAD: I've been using his ATM card for some extra cash.

ME: Bull. You would need to know his PIN number.

DAD: I do. It's 0-2-60

👍︎ 9
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 11 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.