A true story: My boyfriend and I were in the dairy aisle of the grocery store. He tosses a pack of sliced cheese into the cart it ricochets and falls to the floor. β€œKobe!” I shout. β€œNo.” He says in a disappointed tone...

...Colby

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
What can you attach to a ball, a harp, or a cart to make something completely different?

β€œoon”.

πŸ‘︎ 192
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A child picks up a piece of chocolate and puts it in the shopping cart. The mother takes the chocolate, as it is unhealthy, and puts it down next to the eggs.

For its unhealthy being, it was in eggs-aisle.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HunainT
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog cart vendor?

The monk said "make me one with everything."

Monk handed him a $20 bill. Vendor handed him his hot dog.

The monk asked for his change.

The vendor replied "change must come from within."

πŸ‘︎ 111
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tallmon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I was checking out at the grocery store today and the bagger was holding my stuff over the shopping cart and asked: β€œsir, would you like to go out with the cart?”. To which I replied β€œoh, no thanks I’m actually married”. My poor son looked mortified. Dad joke status ACHIEVED.
πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DaFunkJunkie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a man pushing around a cart of saltpeter, he immediately stopped when he saw someone doing something nefarious.

Or you could say the peter parker, spied a man.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Accendil
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Where does the best average golfer put his golf cart?

The par-king space.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can Kylo Ren be seen driving Gold Carts around Hoover Dam

Because he’s Adam Driver

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MyDogYawns
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Walmart caught me stealing a shopping cart full of merchandise.

They told me to rollback the savings.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
An old guy and a young guy were pushing their carts at Home Depot when they collided. The old guy says to the young guy, β€œSorry about that. I’m looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.”

The young guy says, β€œThat’s okay. It’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a bit anxious.”

The old guy says, β€œWell maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"

The young guy says, β€œShe is 28 years-old, tall, with brown hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs and she’s wearing tight white shorts. What does your wife look like?”

The old guy says, β€œDoesn't matter, let’s look for yours.”

πŸ‘︎ 117
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I feel sorry for shopping carts!

They're always getting pushed around!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/B-man44
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A guy offered me a empty shopping cart and said β€œleft some gas in it for you.”
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/guccitrapqueen
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I knocked over an Israeli food cart...

and now I falafel

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cakesinyoface
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the shopping cart quit its job?

It was tired of getting pushed around.

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/--Ribbit--
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
🚨︎ report
I’m walking into a grocery store, and I see a random dad leaving as I enter. He hands me his empty cart and says to me,

β€œLeft some gas in it for you”

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MildBanana
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Earlier today my coworker pointed out a lady with two shopping carts

She would push the first one about 50 feet, then return to get the second, and push it to the first.

"She is just getting her cartio" I replied

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/7upnpoprocks
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2018
🚨︎ report
They really put the cart before the horse...

... when they made the dictionary

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lactose_Tolerance
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2017
🚨︎ report
What was the name of the wooden cart that couldn't have a baby?

Miss Carriage.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Durien9
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2014
🚨︎ report
'Fried Egg, I'm In Love' - best pun name for a food cart? friedegglove.com
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jetglo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.