Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella
My 6 year old told me this one today. Why do dogs carry bones in their mouths?
Because they don't have pockets.
My wife asked why I carry a gun in the house.
I told her decepticons.
She laughed.
I laughed.
The toaster laughed.
I shot the toaster.
I had to carry a group of crows once.
It was murder on my back!
A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb.
He just can't part with it.
Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?
I can't carry 20l of petrol
(True story): My dad carries a tiny 20$ note in his wallet with him wherever he goes. I asked him why...
(His actual answer): "because you always need to carry a little cash on you."
Caveman 1: "I've heard that a dinosaur won't hurt me if I carry a club. Is that true?"
Caveman 2: "That depends on how fast you carry the club."
(Yes, I'm aware of the anachronisms.)
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.
Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.
What do whales carry for protection?
When my parents would go to the bar, my dad would always carry his drink to the table in his left hand and my mother’s in the other. I finally asked him why...
And he said, “Because your mother is always right.”
Which Spice Girl can carry the most petrol?
Why Santa tell Mrs. Claus to carry an umbrella?
Dear people, don't carry your emotional baggage with you
I present you, the grief-case
I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet.
Just to remind me why there's no money in there.
I wasn't able to carry my case.
To avoid bear attacks, carry little bells and pepper spray.
It’s also helpful to know the difference between black bear and grizzly bear dung. Black bear dung has plants and fruit material in it. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper spray.
My German friend Hans got so drunk on American light beer we had to carry him to the truck to go home...
I found out why nurses carry red crayons
In case they have to draw blood.
What are the easiest mushrooms to carry?
I always carry a pebble with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs in October.
I call it my jingle bell rock!
Why do seals carry fish in their mouth?
Because they don't have pockets.
Why don't developers carry guns?
They have troubleshooting.
Edit: Wow! This really took off! I'm happy to have inspired so many grins, cringes, and chuckles!
I was helping my wife carry the grocery bags inside the house. All of the sudden she gets mad at me and says to carry more stuff.
I mean I would carry more but my hands were tide.
A friend of mine always carries around a scale with him no matter where he goes. Anytime he meets a new person named William he throws them right on the scale. So one day I finally asked, "why do you keep doing this?" He replied.
"because where there's a Will there's a weigh."
My mother's sister can carry 50 times her own weight
If you have to carry a heavy hen...
I saw someone carry a large air conditioner to their car
An alternative... was that A'Tuin was crawling from the Birthplace to the Time of Mating. When they arrived they would briefly and passionately mate, for the first and only time, and from that fiery union new turtles would be born to carry a new pattern of worlds.
This was known as the Big Bang hypothesis.
Joke by Terry Pratchett, ‘The Colour of Magic’, Prologue.
What do you call a train that carries bubble gum?
Why do bakers always carry extra cash?
Because they never know when a bit of extra dough might be kneaded!
I'm bald but I still carry around my comb...
I just can't part with it.
I asked Snoop Dogg why he carries an umbrella.
My buddy went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb with him.
He just can't part with it.
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mum only carries one photo......
...... because if you’ve seen Juan you’ve seen Amal
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.
Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.
Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?
I lost all my hair years ago, but I still carry a comb.
I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet.
I do it to remind myself why there is no money in there.
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
Why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
I always carry a pebble with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs in October.
I call it my jingle bell rock.
I found out why nurses carry red crayons -
In case they have to draw blood.
I lost my hair years ago, but still carry a comb
I recently found out that it’s mandatory for all nurses to carry a red crayon with them.
Just in case they have to draw blood
My buddy went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
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