Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella
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︎ Apr 15 2021
My 6 year old told me this one today. Why do dogs carry bones in their mouths?
Because they don't have pockets.
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︎ Mar 14 2021
My wife asked why I carry a gun in the house.
I told her decepticons.
She laughed.
I laughed.
The toaster laughed.
I shot the toaster.
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︎ Apr 28 2021
I had to carry a group of crows once.
It was murder on my back!
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︎ Apr 14 2021
Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?
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︎ Apr 04 2021
A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb.
He just can't part with it.
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︎ Nov 19 2020
I can't carry 20l of petrol
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︎ Mar 09 2021
(True story): My dad carries a tiny 20$ note in his wallet with him wherever he goes. I asked him why...
(His actual answer): "because you always need to carry a little cash on you."
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︎ Mar 18 2021
Caveman 1: "I've heard that a dinosaur won't hurt me if I carry a club. Is that true?"
Caveman 2: "That depends on how fast you carry the club."
(Yes, I'm aware of the anachronisms.)
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︎ Mar 26 2021
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.
Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.
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︎ Dec 09 2020
What do whales carry for protection?
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︎ Feb 03 2021
When my parents would go to the bar, my dad would always carry his drink to the table in his left hand and my motherβs in the other. I finally asked him why...
And he said, βBecause your mother is always right.β
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︎ Jan 16 2021
Which Spice Girl can carry the most petrol?
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︎ Jan 05 2021
Why Santa tell Mrs. Claus to carry an umbrella?
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︎ Dec 22 2020
Dear people, don't carry your emotional baggage with you
I present you, the grief-case
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︎ Oct 09 2020
I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet.
Just to remind me why there's no money in there.
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︎ Dec 10 2020
To avoid bear attacks, carry little bells and pepper spray.
Itβs also helpful to know the difference between black bear and grizzly bear dung. Black bear dung has plants and fruit material in it. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper spray.
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︎ Dec 10 2020
My German friend Hans got so drunk on American light beer we had to carry him to the truck to go home...
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︎ Dec 08 2020
I wasn't able to carry my case.
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︎ Feb 09 2020
I always carry a pebble with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs in October.
I call it my jingle bell rock!
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︎ Oct 31 2020
What are the easiest mushrooms to carry?
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︎ Aug 21 2020
I found out why nurses carry red crayons
In case they have to draw blood.
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︎ Oct 16 2019
Why do seals carry fish in their mouth?
Because they don't have pockets.
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︎ Sep 08 2020
I was helping my wife carry the grocery bags inside the house. All of the sudden she gets mad at me and says to carry more stuff.
I mean I would carry more but my hands were tide.
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︎ Oct 21 2020
A friend of mine always carries around a scale with him no matter where he goes. Anytime he meets a new person named William he throws them right on the scale. So one day I finally asked, "why do you keep doing this?" He replied.
"because where there's a Will there's a weigh."
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︎ Oct 16 2020
Why don't developers carry guns?
They have troubleshooting.
Edit: Wow! This really took off! I'm happy to have inspired so many grins, cringes, and chuckles!
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︎ Sep 04 2019
My mother's sister can carry 50 times her own weight
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︎ Jul 28 2020
If you have to carry a heavy hen...
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︎ Jul 09 2020
An alternative... was that A'Tuin was crawling from the Birthplace to the Time of Mating. When they arrived they would briefly and passionately mate, for the first and only time, and from that fiery union new turtles would be born to carry a new pattern of worlds.
This was known as the Big Bang hypothesis.
Joke by Terry Pratchett, βThe Colour of Magicβ, Prologue.
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︎ Sep 03 2020
I saw someone carry a large air conditioner to their car
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︎ Jul 07 2020
Why do bakers always carry extra cash?
Because they never know when a bit of extra dough might be kneaded!
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︎ Aug 17 2020
What do you call a train that carries bubble gum?
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︎ Aug 15 2020
I'm bald but I still carry around my comb...
I just can't part with it.
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︎ Mar 18 2021
I asked Snoop Dogg why he carries an umbrella.
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︎ Feb 14 2021
My buddy went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb with him.
He just can't part with it.
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︎ Jan 09 2021
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mum only carries one photo......
...... because if youβve seen Juan youβve seen Amal
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︎ Nov 20 2020
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just canβt part with it.
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︎ Aug 23 2020
Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?
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︎ Feb 06 2021
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.
Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.
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︎ Dec 09 2020
Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?
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︎ Dec 23 2020
I lost all my hair years ago, but I still carry a comb.
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︎ Sep 16 2020
I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet.
I do it to remind myself why there is no money in there.
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︎ Feb 04 2020
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
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︎ Oct 19 2020
Why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
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︎ Apr 18 2020
I always carry a pebble with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs in October.
I call it my jingle bell rock.
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︎ Oct 28 2019
I lost my hair years ago, but still carry a comb
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︎ Sep 03 2020
I found out why nurses carry red crayons -
In case they have to draw blood.
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︎ Jun 17 2020
I recently found out that itβs mandatory for all nurses to carry a red crayon with them.
Just in case they have to draw blood
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︎ Jul 12 2020
My buddy went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb with him.
He just canβt part with it.
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︎ Jan 07 2019
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
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︎ Aug 14 2020
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