Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella

Fo drizzle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hobo_master3000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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My 6 year old told me this one today. Why do dogs carry bones in their mouths?

Because they don't have pockets.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kristhebrown
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
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My wife asked why I carry a gun in the house.

I told her decepticons. She laughed. I laughed. The toaster laughed. I shot the toaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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I had to carry a group of crows once.

It was murder on my back!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ripMyTime0192
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?

Fo'drizzle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb.

He just can't part with it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeltaOne211
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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I can't carry 20l of petrol

But Jerry can.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peterburk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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(True story): My dad carries a tiny 20$ note in his wallet with him wherever he goes. I asked him why...

(His actual answer): "because you always need to carry a little cash on you."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Monster_NotWar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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Caveman 1: "I've heard that a dinosaur won't hurt me if I carry a club. Is that true?"

Caveman 2: "That depends on how fast you carry the club."

(Yes, I'm aware of the anachronisms.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wimpykidfan37
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.

Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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What do whales carry for protection?

Swordfish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/moonpies4everyone
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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When my parents would go to the bar, my dad would always carry his drink to the table in his left hand and my mother’s in the other. I finally asked him why...

And he said, β€œBecause your mother is always right.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uncle_Bug_Music
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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Which Spice Girl can carry the most petrol?

Geri can

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pdew72
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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Why Santa tell Mrs. Claus to carry an umbrella?

"Looks like rain dear"

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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Dear people, don't carry your emotional baggage with you

I present you, the grief-case

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet.

Just to remind me why there's no money in there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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To avoid bear attacks, carry little bells and pepper spray.

It’s also helpful to know the difference between black bear and grizzly bear dung. Black bear dung has plants and fruit material in it. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper spray.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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My German friend Hans got so drunk on American light beer we had to carry him to the truck to go home...

We had to hold Hans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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I wasn't able to carry my case.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HariyaManawari
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
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I always carry a pebble with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs in October.

I call it my jingle bell rock!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jxwtf585
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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What are the easiest mushrooms to carry?

Portobello mushrooms

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buttengine
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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I found out why nurses carry red crayons

In case they have to draw blood.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/33billings
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
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Why do seals carry fish in their mouth?

Because they don't have pockets.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/D3V1L420
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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I was helping my wife carry the grocery bags inside the house. All of the sudden she gets mad at me and says to carry more stuff.

I mean I would carry more but my hands were tide.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vapingpigeon94
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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A friend of mine always carries around a scale with him no matter where he goes. Anytime he meets a new person named William he throws them right on the scale. So one day I finally asked, "why do you keep doing this?" He replied.

"because where there's a Will there's a weigh."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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Why don't developers carry guns?

They have troubleshooting.

Edit: Wow! This really took off! I'm happy to have inspired so many grins, cringes, and chuckles!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PickleFart69
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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My mother's sister can carry 50 times her own weight

She's my aunt

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πŸ‘€︎ u/forrestree
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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If you have to carry a heavy hen...

It becomes a Birden.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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An alternative... was that A'Tuin was crawling from the Birthplace to the Time of Mating. When they arrived they would briefly and passionately mate, for the first and only time, and from that fiery union new turtles would be born to carry a new pattern of worlds.

This was known as the Big Bang hypothesis.

Joke by Terry Pratchett, β€˜The Colour of Magic’, Prologue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WatashiStickKid
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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I saw someone carry a large air conditioner to their car

Damn. What a unit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joyluck1a
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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Why do bakers always carry extra cash?

Because they never know when a bit of extra dough might be kneaded!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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What do you call a train that carries bubble gum?

Chew chew train.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/not_flexy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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I'm bald but I still carry around my comb...

I just can't part with it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimmyLoramAtWork
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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I asked Snoop Dogg why he carries an umbrella.

"Fo drizzle."

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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My buddy went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb with him.

He just can't part with it.

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mum only carries one photo......

...... because if you’ve seen Juan you’ve seen Amal

πŸ‘︎ 335
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrazingGiraffe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.

He just can’t part with it.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?

Fo'drizzle

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.

Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle β˜”οΈ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RootbeerDreams
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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I lost all my hair years ago, but I still carry a comb.

I cant part with it.

πŸ‘︎ 215
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet.

I do it to remind myself why there is no money in there.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ksbalaji
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo drizzle

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrCheesecake69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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Why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?

Fo drizzle

πŸ‘︎ 492
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πŸ‘€︎ u/howell1812
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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I always carry a pebble with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs in October.

I call it my jingle bell rock.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jxwtf585
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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I lost my hair years ago, but still carry a comb

i just cant part with it

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itscxrdonx
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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I found out why nurses carry red crayons -

In case they have to draw blood.

πŸ‘︎ 194
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sierrasport
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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I recently found out that it’s mandatory for all nurses to carry a red crayon with them.

Just in case they have to draw blood

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daytripper1902
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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My buddy went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb with him.

He just can’t part with it.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo' drizzle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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