I asked Carrie if she understands what the consequences would be if every "st" was replaced wit a "w"
Carrie Fisher died for Alderaan reasons...
A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb.
He just can't part with it.
I have started carrying a piece of stone with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs before Thanksgiving.
It’s my jingle bell rock.
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments?
My roomba went out my front door and a pack of bears attacked it, an eagle carried it away to the ocean, and a shark finished it off.
What do whales carry for protection?
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.
Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.
I inherited my dad's collection of shallow flat receptacles with a raised edge, used for carrying, holding, or displaying articles.
Grocery stores are now carrying gluten-free beef.
It's made from cattle that have Silly Yaks' disease.
When my parents would go to the bar, my dad would always carry his drink to the table in his left hand and my mother’s in the other. I finally asked him why...
And he said, “Because your mother is always right.”
Im gonna tell my kids that the Titanic was carrying a lot of mayonnaise
And that it sunk on the 5th of May which is why we commemorate the Sinko de Mayo
Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?
Which Spice Girl can carry the most petrol?
Why Santa tell Mrs. Claus to carry an umbrella?
I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet.
Just to remind me why there's no money in there.
To avoid bear attacks, carry little bells and pepper spray.
It’s also helpful to know the difference between black bear and grizzly bear dung. Black bear dung has plants and fruit material in it. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper spray.
My German friend Hans got so drunk on American light beer we had to carry him to the truck to go home...
Dear people, don't carry your emotional baggage with you
I present you, the grief-case
The police asked me why i was carrying so many pillows
I told them i was resisting a rest.
Credit to u/tooshiftyforyou
*while my dad and I drive past a cemetery*
Dad: "Did you know that the people who live in this town aren't allowed to be buried in that cemetery?"
Me: "Oh, why?"
Dad: "Cuz they're still alive."
Officer: Sir, why are you carrying pillows?
Because I’m resisting a rest.
A truck carrying French cheese was in a terrible accident.
There was de brie everywhere!
I got (Maggie) Reilly carried away.
Funny how in the past everyone owned horses and only the rich owned cars, and now everyone has cars and only the rich have horses...
My how the stables have turned.
Edit: Wow guys, thanks for all the love!
A ship carrying purple paint ran into a ship carrying brown paint.
The survivors were marooned.
Did you know the Hindenburg was carrying a shipment of perfume?
It was carrying several cases of Eau de Humanity.
What happens when the vehicle carrying most of the Egyptian gods breaks down?
They have to pull over and wait for Anubis.
A police officer stops a guy carrying a backpack on suspicion of terrorism.
The police officer asks him to let him check his backpack.
The guy obliges.
In his backpack, the officer finds some textbooks, a calculator, a compass and a ruler.
"Aha!", shouts the policeman, "as I suspected. You are under arrest!"
"But why?" the guy protests.
"You have been caught carrying weapons of math instruction!"
What are the easiest mushrooms to carry?
I started carrying a gun with me after an attempted robbery a few years ago.
Now my robberies have gotten a lot more successful.
I wasn't able to carry my case.
Why do seals carry fish in their mouth?
Because they don't have pockets.
At my book club, I wondered why they were throwing Stephen King novels around.
A ship carrying a a cargo of yoyo's has sunk.
I was helping my wife carry the grocery bags inside the house. All of the sudden she gets mad at me and says to carry more stuff.
I mean I would carry more but my hands were tide.
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage
Drunk driver overturned his van on road carrying snooker equipment.
Police says he is under a-rest and there is cues a mile long.
My buddy went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb with him.
He just can't part with it.
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mum only carries one photo......
...... because if you’ve seen Juan you’ve seen Amal
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.
Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.
I lost all my hair years ago, but I still carry a comb.
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
I always carry a pebble with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs in October.
I call it my jingle bell rock!
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet.
I do it to remind myself why there is no money in there.
I wondered why my daughter was throwing all my Stephen King books around the room. And then…
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