What crime do you commit when you throw a text book?

Textual Assault

👍︎ 10
📅︎ Dec 13 2019
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I guess dad jokes are universal, just got dad joked by my foreign language penpal

I have a penpal from Spain I talk to a lot. Today we were chatting on Google Chat in English, and the topic of whether or not sea lions were dangerous came up.

Me: okay google says "sea lion saves man" has 976,000 results

Her: that man has sinked so many times

Edit: Bonus, she continued laughing at her own joke.

Her: hahahahaha

Her: i cant stop laughing

Her: it was so bad joke

Her: hahaha

👍︎ 330
👤︎ u/digbybare
📅︎ Jan 17 2014
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A Teacher I had in High School...

I had Mr. B for a media class in which we worked on computers. We were working in Photoshop and text design specifically. Well, as everyone knows, you can alter the orientation of text. I was young and dumb, I said aloud that my text was 'bi-curious.' Mr. B came up to me and said

"Do you mean you're bi-textual?"

He quickly apologized.

👍︎ 4
📅︎ Nov 14 2014
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I dad-joked a guy I met online.

A little back-story. He's in college while I'm about to finish school.

Him: Haha, you're still in school, kiddo. I'm ANCIENT!

Me: I would totally exploit your ruins!

Him: Wooww, smooth.

Me: I'm so sorry for textually harassing you...

👍︎ 5
📅︎ Aug 17 2014
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