Finance graduation cap puns/ideas!?!?!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/papercup1212
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2017
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I bought a roll on deodorant, the instructions said "remove cap and push up bottom"...

I walk kinda funny now but my farts smell great!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toberoni
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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Cap Saicin
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nick_Fukqu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Ahh yes... Frants
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eyaad_Yoda
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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My left knee has never committed a crime.

I can’t say the same for his felony.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nate_hawwk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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I purchased a deodorant stick today. Instructions say, "remove cap and push up bottom."

I can hardly walk, but when I fart the room smells lovely. Credit: https://pun.me/pages/dad-jokes.php

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BredSolid
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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I broke my back in a car accident and I'm looking for a pun for my grad cap

So yeah I got into a car accident during college and I wanted to commemorate that on my grad cap. My mom won't let me put my mri, "you should put something positive on your cap, not something negative" so yeah a back pun is the next best thing I could think of putting on there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/summosa
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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I have a friend that's scared of text in capslock, one day a guy sent him a full caps text

I can't belive how bold he was

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BernardoPiedade
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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So I was reading the book "Caps For Sale" to my seven year old kid...

He looks at the peddler and goes, "wow, that guy really has a lot on his head!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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How much did it cost HYDRA to kill Tony Stark’s parents?

One Buck.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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Credits to u/plat_playya
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sixDwaffle
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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I ran out of gas on the side of the road. Along comes a swarm of bees.

I was confused, but they seemed friendly. I told them what was going on, and they said: open the gas cap. One by one, each bee flew into the tank, and to my astonishment the gas gage went from empty to full. The bees said: start the car. So, I did and it ran. I asked them: what did you put in the tank? Bee pee.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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Introducing the fauna of the human body
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aj_seravla
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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They found a plant that cures COVID-19!

It’s called plant yourself on the couch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bubble_2107
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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One of my friends told me he was opening a clothing store that sold everything except for hats.

I thought he was pulling my leg, but when I asked him, he told me "Yeah man it's true, no cap."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MostWheatyOne
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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Caption America
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πŸ‘€︎ u/subbu9969
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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What do you call a mycology student who loves to party

A fungi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trundle-theGr8
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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Come on now, Cap
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrinchZaddy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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A store clerk fought off an armed robber with a labeling gun

Now police are looking for a man with a price on his head.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fireseeker4him
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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I heard that the Cap’n Crunch guy pranked the Froot Loops guy.

It’s ok, Toucan play that game.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shartnado3
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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What do snowmen wear on their heads?

Ice Caps

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πŸ‘€︎ u/90eight
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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Donald Trump posts his tweets in all-caps.

Guess you could call him a capitalist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/swanky_swanker
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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Good one Cap
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chumanfu13
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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(OC) I’m graduating tomorrow, this is my cap. Forever a loan
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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The term "caps" is not valid unless you multiply this...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Solilupus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
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Caps
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Takamura_001
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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I'm gonna serve my kids Eggs Benedict on plates made from hub caps this up coming Christmas. Why?

There's no Plate like Chrome for the Hollandaise.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirMalcolmK
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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Do you like my knee cap?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesomenein
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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Did you hear about the sea captain that went in for a hat fitting at the local haberdashery during rough seas?

He was cap-sized.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpartanMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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Good morning, Cap'n!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreenGamer7
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
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Picture of my fiancee's knee cap.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jak0shadows
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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Caps being locked
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πŸ‘€︎ u/b_finch07
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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I go through so much shampoo it's just ridiculous!

I don't know, maybe my head is bigger than most but it does say to use a cap full.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arctikavanian
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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Two blokes go for a job. Before they can get the job they are asked some questions.

One said to the other i wont get the job i not good at questions. Dont worry said the other i go in first and i will tell you the answers? So he goes in the boss said to him; If i poke you in the left eye what would happen. I would go half blind. If i poke you right eye what would happen. I would go fully blind. Congratulations you have got the job. Send the other candidate in. As the other candidate was going in the he said the answers are Half blind and Fully blind. Thanks mate and goes to see the boss. Right said the boss if i cut your ear off what would happen. I would go half blind. Okay said the boss if i cut your other ear off what would happen. I would go fully blind. The boss looks puzzled and said how do you make that out. He said thats obvious.

My cap would fall over my eyes!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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Realized my boys will someday be dads after the cat tried to sneak outside tonight

Me, to my two boys: "Hazel tried to escape, but I rescued her!...Or....should I say captured her?"

Boy 1: (pronunciation) "cap- CHURR!"

Boy 2: "Or... You CAT-tured her!"

Boy 1: "No, you CAT cat-ture Hazel!"

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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I was fired from my job at the distillery.

I guess I misunderstood when my therapist told me not to keep everything bottled up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smithsea2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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At my sister's high school graduation, one kid threw his cap in the air too early.

My dad turns to me and says, "Oops, Premature Ecapulation."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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What do pirates on the Double-Dutchman call their Cap'n?

Skipper of course.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xhulifactor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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ALL CAPS
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FudgePuffin94
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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Pun Help: need funny saying for graduation cap

I’m graduating with my Masters in MIS (Management Information Systems) and am seeking suggestions for punny graduation cap mottos or sayings that I could use related to my MIS Degree. Thanks!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/r00nic0rn
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
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It was a sunny day out on the lake. I'd forgotten my cap. Luckily, I had a flyer from the local department store. I folded it into a hat with a shade for my eyes, thus making it easier to guide the boat without crashing it.

It made a good ad visor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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My friend wears a close-fitting knitted cap when he's putting items for sale on racks at the grocery...

It's a stocking cap.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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ONE OF MY KIDS BROKE MY CAPS LOCK KEY.

I’M NOT UPSET, BUT DON’T KNOW HOW TO SHOW IT.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
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CAPS LOCK
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DuckEE-
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2018
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My wife and I were putting up a curtain rod, and I had previously removed the cap at the end of the rod.

After we finished installing the hooks, and hung the curtains I asked her to hand the cap to me.

"Honey, can you hand me the pole end?"

She was unsure of what I meant, and asked, "What pole end?"

"Pole end is a country in eastern Europe, but I need you to hand me the cap the to the curtain rod."

Groaning ensues...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNewBo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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SORRY THIS POST IS IN ALL CAPS,

BUT MY KEYBOARD WAS BROKEN.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HumanAsFarAsIKnow
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
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I bought a new deodorant yesterday. The instructions said "Remove cap and push up bottom"

It hurt like hell, but my farts smell great.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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I bought a new deodorant today. The instructions said to remove cap and push up bottom.

I can barely walk but my farts smell lovely.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bryanBr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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