I'm campaigning to become a moderator of /r/dadjokes. This is the platform I'm running on.
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︎ Mar 29 2016
I'm running a D&D campaign and I figured out the best riddle for the players to solve to open a door.
"Take thine father's blade and ascend!"
>!The solution is Pa's Sword 1234!<
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︎ May 03 2021
How did bush fund his campaign?
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︎ May 03 2021
Jay-Z is DMing a D&D campaign for his son.
Jay-Z's son is playing a fighter and is engaged in a grueling fight with a troll. The troll is clearly too high a difficulty for the fighter.
"Dad," Jay-Z's son exclaims in frustration. "The troll is destroying me!" Just at that moment, from behind a nearby hill appears an army of goblins led by what appears to be an intoxicated lich.
Jay-Z looks at his son and replies with a smirk, "If you're having troll problems, I feel bad for you, son. I've got 99 goblins and a lich on rum."
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︎ Mar 09 2021
The wizard in my campaign just got handed a whole bunch of random, unlabeled Sesame Street videos.
He's going to learn how to count or spell.
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︎ Mar 28 2021
In our next Dnd campaign, the 4 heroes are all going to be singing wizards.
A regular bard-ershop quartet.
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︎ Dec 31 2020
The campaign to elect Kamala Harris as Vice President
...was the most ex-pence-ive in history.
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︎ Jan 22 2021
Advertisers for cream cheese are running schmear campaigns...
...and they should all be lox'd up for their capers.
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︎ Oct 22 2020
In the last weeks campaign, I was asked to get the opinions of women on what shampoo were they currently using........
The most common answer I got was......................
"EEEEKK!! HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET INTO MY BATHROOM???!!!"
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︎ Oct 21 2020
It's important to lose closely at lawn signs during election campaigns....
Last time I cast my vote for a real estate agent.
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︎ Sep 25 2020
Apparently, Kanye West has ended his Presidential campaign.
And just shortly after starting it too. But you know how the saying is: "Yeezy come Yeezy go".
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︎ Jul 16 2020
Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.
Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.
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︎ Jun 26 2020
Why did the stool quit his election campaign?
He didnβt have any backing !
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︎ Aug 14 2020
Idea for Oreo ad campaign
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︎ Nov 01 2018
Mikhail Gorbachev started an anti-alcohol campaign in USSR in 1980s. People went crazy because of the restrictions on selling of alcohol. An old Soviet joke went like this:
βA disaffected and angry citizen, fed up of standing in lines for vodka, decided to go assassinate Gorbachev. He soon came back and ruefully reported that the lines to assassinate Gorbachev were even longer than the lines for vodka.β
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︎ May 07 2020
Duck and Cover!
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︎ Mar 08 2020
I need help solving a pun/riddle.
Context: I'm in a DnD campaign, for fifth edition.
So basically, one of my characters told a horrible pun to a planetar (Massive angel-like being) over Sending (A spell letting you communicate over long distances). "Whaddya call a celestial who likes to fish? An angel-er." and then he got asked to put his journal in the box that suddenly appeared behind hm, He complied, and when he got it back his name was gone from the first page of the book, and there was a golden box, that read "Tell me what I've pun, wizard" So I'm assuming he needs to answer in some sort of pun related to his name, Klaus Hallowmantle.
However, my brain is smoother than... I can't think of anything to compare it to all of a sudden. Oh well. Anyone who can help me with this?
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︎ Jan 13 2021
This year is a godsend for every optometrist's social media marketing campaign.
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︎ Jan 04 2020
I hired a firm to create an advertising campaign for me. Their idea was to use workbench clamps to hold the ads up for viewing.
I think that's just bad ad vise.
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︎ Feb 25 2020
What explains βSleepy Joeβsβ explosion of success on Super Tuesday, after never having won a primary in multiple previous campaigns?
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︎ Mar 04 2020
Police forces are deflating the stats of seized drugs during the drug war campaign.
Apparently, they didn't do the math but they did the meth.
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︎ Jan 08 2020
Do you know what elves rely on during political campaigns?
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︎ Sep 15 2019
If Michelle Obama were to run for president in 2020 on the campaign promise of legalizing marijuana, what would her campaign slogan be?
When they go low, we get high.
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︎ May 09 2019
O'Rourke thought he could keeping going in his presidential campaign.
But then he thought he Beto not.
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︎ Nov 02 2019
Next political campaign slogan: "Hindsight is 2020"
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︎ Apr 29 2019
I appreciate this ad campaign centered around a pun
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︎ Mar 29 2019
[request] puns for a campaign slogan involving my name
Iβm running for senior class president and my name is Miranda Alfaro, I need a good slogan since my toughest opponent named Chase is βchase your dreamsβ thank you to whoever makes me one!
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︎ Mar 29 2018
Dad: "Did you hear about the new Ebola ad campaign?"
Me: "Uh, no..."
Dad: "It went viral."
Me: ΰ² _ΰ²
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︎ Nov 05 2014
Can you believe California is having an electric shortage? Richard Ricity should run for governor
This way the people can elect Ricity.
The campaign would be "Elect Rick".
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︎ Aug 19 2020
Bro, can you tell me a way to inform people about my campaign?
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︎ Jun 06 2018
Request: Food Puns!
Hi Everyone!
So I have a request for you all. Some friends and I are starting a new Pathfinder Campaign. Specifically, Hell's Rebels. I noticed one point mentioned that mint is now outruled, as one of the more 'insane' laws being put into place. Naturally, I have designed my character entirely around that.
Thus, the Chef Pana Kouta is born. I hope to 'pepper' some puns throughout the campaign, and would love to have some help from you all!
To summarise Hell's Rebels: A city of freedom is put under martial law, and the party will become leaders of a rebellion to stop the tyranny as the new leader begins issuing more and more insane laws.
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︎ Aug 03 2020
How did the bagel shop owner get rid of the competition on his block?
He ran a pretty intense schmear campaign
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︎ Aug 29 2020
A quick journey into the merchandising genius of Hillary's campaign gift shop. [x-post from /u/JaroLink in /r/The_Donald]
sli.mg/a/2aSZUr
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︎ May 11 2016
Corona is taking "viral marketing" too literally
The new campaign is a killer
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︎ Feb 24 2020
Many campaigns dissuade feeding crows nowadays
Because the murder rate was at an all time high
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︎ Mar 22 2018
Need ideas
Hi everyone! I need some dad jokes involving ghosts and poker for a dungeons and dragons campaign I'm doing. Thanks in advance to all you that have some!
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︎ May 16 2020
Using puns in your marketing campaign?
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︎ Jan 31 2018
Me homebrewing some fantasy drinks for my campaign, when my dad walks into my room, sees what im doing...
and asks me if I need some help getting the creative juices flowing.
It's a common thing for him to say, so I only got it after he left. I don't think he even realized it himself. At this point I'm too afraid to ask.
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︎ Jun 19 2017
I got sick after my last D&D campaign, I couldn't stop talking like a wizard.
I think I may have a staff inflection!
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︎ Aug 25 2016
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︎ Oct 02 2014
Washington Post Headline: IBM ends campaign urging women to hack hair dryers after heated blowback
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-switch/wp/2015/12/08/ibm-ends-campaign-urging-women-to-hack-hair-dryers-after-heated-blowback/?hpid=hp_hp-cards_hp-card-technology%3Ahomepage%2Fcard
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︎ Dec 09 2015
Thought this group might like to submit some of their masterpieces to VIZIO's new "Dadisms" campaign.
http://viziodadisms.com/
I post this now in the hopes that hilarity could be the byproduct
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︎ Jun 08 2016
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