Buttoning up my little daughter's coat one day, it hit me ....
Being a parent really is fastenating.
I just realized that my calculator is missing the minus button.
But on the plus side, it still works.
I learned a lot about belly buttons in college...
I went to the Navel Academy
Why was the button permamently depressed?
Somebody pushed him too far.
I can't help it, I like Google's "I'm feeling lucky" button
It's basically love at first site.
My daughter was playing with my computer and she broke the R button and tried to eat it.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
I don't know why I'm so afraid of pressing buttons.
I just can't put my finger on it.
When people think of calculators they think the buttons are the most important thing
But it's what's inside that counts
On the first day of my flying lessons, I looked down nervously and asked my instructor, “What are all these buttons for?”
“They are to keep your shirt done up” he replied.
My favorite Hollywood movie has to be “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”.
What kind of belly button does a car have?
I’ve recently discovered I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.
I was a little afraid of speed bumps too, but I’m slowly getting over them!
UPDATE: Thank you so much for all the upvotes and amazing responses, fellow Dad Joke lovers.
You make the world a happier place! 🤩
What did the police officer tell his belly button?
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
I'll bet the guy who invented the snooze button...
.....never invented anything else.
I have a tv here I’m selling, going cheap as the volume buttons don’t work
Why did the button fall of the cliff?
What military branch is an expert on belly buttons?
I couldn't undo the buttons on my jumper, so I tried pulling it over my head but got it stuck.
I'm in the hospital now waiting to see a cardyologist.
What do you call a cute button, which on pressing norifies the house owner to open the door?
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
Why can't you get the buttons wet in a submersible?
Because they're submarine grade.
He wouldn’t be let down if he didn’t push their buttons...
I’m selling a 55” TV for JUST $1, only problem is the volume button is broken...
... I mean, how can you turn that one down!
Julie Andrews’ Daily Schedule: 1. Impersonate Homer Simpson 2. Read about bushcraft 3. Watch ludicrously silly play 4. Replace button on blouse 5. Start making coffee flavoured bread
D’oh, Ray Mears, Farce, Sew, Latte Dough.
The button is RED.
It's REDdit, not ORANGEdit.
The chemistry teacher is always pushing my buttons in class!
I think she’s just looking for a reaction.
Had a bargain on eBay today, brought a 65inch HD TV for £5, the only issue is the volume button doesnt work.
I thought, I cant turn that down.
What’s a cats favourite button on the tv remote?
What is the best character in Raid Shadow Legends?
Why does it take a Veteran three times to mute the television?
Every time they push the button on the remote they think Sound Off, one two, Sound Off, three four, Sound Off one two three four, one two, three FOUR.
(Army Veteran here, no disrespect intended fellow brothers and sisters.)
What’s green and turns red when you push a button?
Just wondering, if you push the buttons on a calculator really fast ...
... does it become a calcu-earlier?
ugh, the button "C" of my keyboard just broke
Now this is a c-rious problem
(it happened for real, help)
What kind of school do belly buttons go to?
I was in an elevator with my wife when a couple entered with their kids. I went out of my way to ask what floor they were going up to so I could push the button for them.
I wanted to prove to my wife that I was serious about raising a family.
I'm really really scared of elevators...
...so I take steps to avoid them.
Someone in my apartment building rearranged all the buttons on the elevator.
That was wrong on so many levels.
The first day of flying class, I looked down nervously and asked my instructor, “Wow! What are all these buttons for?”
He said, “They are used to keep your shirt closed.”
What did the officer say to his belly button?
My calculator is missing the minus button....
But on the plus side it still works.
my first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
copilot: they keep your shirt closed
My daughter was playing with my computer and she broke the R button and tried to eat it.
What did the police man say to this belly button?
A great movie to watch when you are under lockdown is “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.”
What did the police officer say to his belly button?
(First day as pilot.)
Me: (looking down nervously) "What are these buttons for?
Co pilot: "They keep your shirt closed."
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