Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
I just can't put my finger on it.
“They are to keep your shirt done up” he replied.
...so I take steps to avoid them.
It never gets old.
But it's what's inside that counts
an Audi
YOU'RE UNDER A VEST!
.....never invented anything else.
You are underAvest!
You can’t turn that down
It was pushed.
The Naval Corps.
I'm in the hospital now waiting to see a cardyologist.
Because they're submarine grade.
Adoorbell.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
... I mean, how can you turn that one down!
D’oh, Ray Mears, Farce, Sew, Latte Dough.
I thought, I cant turn that down.
I think she’s just looking for a reaction.
But on the plus side it still works.
Paws
Black, with grey rubber buttons.
A frog in a blender.
She craves anarchy.
... does it become a calcu-earlier?
There once was this fella was born with a silver screw in his belly button. His parents, and later himself, searched far and wide trying to find someone that knew how this happened and how to remove it. As he grew older he cared less and less about the "how" and more about the removal. One day in his never-ending search he encountered a wizened woman who said that she knew of a place where you could go and a mysterious force would be able to remove the screw. But, before she provided the location she asked him if this was REALLY something he wanted done and if he knew all the consequences of his desire. The man hastily said that he was 10000% sure and more than well informed of the consequences. So, she gave him the location of the cave and the instructions on how to gain the help of the mysterious force. He was to go to the cave and sleep nude in the cave over night and by the morning his request would be fulfilled. He made his way to the spot with all due haste and followed the instructions to the letter. He did this and fell into a sound sleep. During the night a heavy fog rolled into the cave and a shining silver screwdriver floated into the cave with it. It floated down to the man and gently removed the screw. When the man woke up in the morning and saw the screw on the ground beside him he quickly reached down and felt his belly button. The screw was gone! He sprung up with great joy but the minute he landed after his leap of joy his butt fell off. He froze in horror and started to scream "Why did my butt fall off?" over and over.
The moral of the story is "Don't mess with things you don't understand or you will lose your butt."
Now this is a c-rious problem
(it happened for real, help)
Navel academies.
I wanted to prove to my wife that I was serious about raising a family.
That was wrong on so many levels.
Whenever I push it, it gets depressed!
He said, “They are used to keep your shirt closed.”
You’re under a vest!
copilot: they keep your shirt closed
"You're under a vest!"
Never gets old.
You’re under a vest!
Paws
