If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
I always bring an extra pair of underwear when I go golfing
Just incase I get a hole in one.
No matter where I go, I like to bring my ukulele, then, whenever someone asks if I play an instrument, I say...
“I play a little guitar!"
If the stork is the burd that brings babies, what is the bird that prevents babies ?
Every time we go to the putting green, my friend has to bring along a bag of Pringles to munch on...
He always wants to practice his chipping.
What fruit do robbers bring to the bank?
Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?
In case he got a hole-in-one.
When going on a roller coaster, bring some screws and nuts with you.
When it's half way up, scream at the people in the front seats, "SHIT DUDE, THESE JUST CAME OFF FROM YOUR SEATS. "
A bread demon would bring a lot of pain.
What kind of reptile do you bring on an expedition?
This brings back memories
So this bank robber I know brings a bathroom scale with him to every heist.
This really brings back old memories
when I was a child we were so poor that my mother made us clothes out of the scraps my dad would bring home from work at the sandpaper factory
My wife tells me not to listen to the voices that bring me down and make me feel worthless.
She also complains that I never listen to her.
On the way to the therapist, I told my wife, “You are going to bring up my obsession with predicting the future, aren’t you?”
She said, “Yeah.”
I said, “I knew it!”
Want people to show up? Bring food.
What four elements are you not allowed to bring to your job?
Nitrogen, sulfur, Fluorine, and tungsten, cause they are NSFW.
If you sign up for an economics class, you should bring some spoiled milk on the first day.
They’re a big fan of gross domestic products.
Everyone seems to think next year will bring back some comforts of normalcy
I’m not so convinced though since 2021 is guaranteed to be an odd year
I just had a new wash basin delivered to our house for our guest bathroom, but my wife decided that she hates the design so much she won't even let me bring it in off the porch. It has been sitting by our front door for a week, A ENTIRE WEEK.
Storks bring babies, but do you know what type of birds prevent babies?
A guy brings his friend to see his new lake house. When they get there, they see a goose on the front steps.
The friend says "hey, is he yours?"
The guy replies "yep, kept him after I found him alone by the lake. He can't communicate with any of the other birds."
His friend looked confused. "Is he mute?"
"No. I think he speaks porch geese."
Why do Italian people bring ravioli to birthday parties?
So they can pasta parcel!
Don't bring cheese to a sword fight.
But if you do, make sure it's extra sharp.
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.
Who brings a linguist their Christmas presents?
Dear Mother in law...Don't teach me how to bring up my children...
I'm living with one of yours and she needs a lot of improvement.
People ask me why I keep bring my sled to places like yard sales and the flea market
I tell them the answer is simple...Toboggan!
Asked my kids this morning to bring their laundry and separate it into whites and colors. My son holds up some grey sweats and asks which pile.
My response: Not sure son, that’s kind of a grey area.
In an attempt to bring great pleasure to myself, I'll post controversial topics in white supremacist groups in the attempt to get funny reactions out of them.
A vulture was boarding a plane and he brought with him a dead racoon. The flight attendant, mortified by the sight and stench, pointed at the carcass and asked "Sir why did you bring a dead racoon with you."
The vulture said. "Oh this? This is my carrion luggage."
The guy I suspect is a cannibal in the office always brings in something questionable.
Today was white chick in chili.
Please bring my x back, don't ask y :(
I trained my dog to bring me a glass of red wine.
If April showers bring May flowers, What do May flowers bring?
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
If April showers bring May flowers, then what do May flowers bring?
If April showers bring may flowers what do may flowers bring?
I always bring an extra pair of pants golfing...
...just in case I get a hole in one.
If April showers bring May flowers, then what do May flowers bring?
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