Apologies this was a very difficult period for me.
Let that sink in.
My response: Not sure son, that’s kind of a grey area.
A server error
I just can't part with it.
Just incase they get a hole in one.
Dad: No, I'm going to put it up on that wall
One man pulled an old guitar off the wall that hadn’t been tuned in years and gave it to the octopus.
The octopus took the guitar, tuned it right up and began play.
There was no doubt that the octopus was an excellent guitar player.
The man paid his handler $50 and sat down.
Another man brought a saxophone to the octopus.
The octopus took it and stared for a bit.
After a minute or two the octopus began playing a deep and soulful jazz solo.
This man paid his $50 and sat down.
The bartender went into the back and brought out a set of bag pipes.
The bartender said, “I’ll bet $100 that the octopus can’t play these bagpipes.”
The man agreed and handed them to the octopus.
The octopus sat there eyeing the bagpipes up and down for quite awhile.
The handler began to get nervous so he said to the octopus, “Hurry up and start playing the thing”
The octopus spewed, “Play it?! I wanna marry her!"
Heard from an old Jump Instructor while handing out parachutes.
Son: I know Mum already told me. She also said that uncle Mike is the stork.
Because you don't have to worry about any cat-astro-fees.
I had just got my hair cut nice and short and been dropped around at my mate's house by mum. As i walk in: Mate's Dad: Hey bonya, who did ya hair cut? Me: (slightly confused) My hair didn't cut anybody...
Dad looking for mayo: I think its gone rogue
Seems a bit far-fetched.
But affogato
It'd be too much carrion'
But when the guests arrived the hosts took the alcohol and divided it among all the guests.
“What type of party is this!?” exclaimed a guest.
One of the hosts smiled and replied, “A communist party.”
I just can't stand it.
Because it was traveling light!
Don’t believe me? Just watch.
So there was a high school dance and at that dance there was a boy with a wooden eye and a girl with a hair lip. The boy walks over to her and asks her if she would like to dance. "Oh would I!", she says. He responds saying, "shut up hair lip!"
Snacrilege!
But it was a Risk I was willing to take.
It has "You look lovely" and "I love what you've done with your hair" written on it. The couple look confused and ask the waiter what's going on.
"Compliments of the Chef." he says.
As protocol, we always recommend that the client turns off their laptop after a spill.
My boss walks by and says "You know, she's gonna have to put her laptop to sleep but now it won't be able to!"
"Well, it's in bread."
What did the pirate with a steering wheel in his pants say?
"Arggh, you're drivin' me nuts!"
