What do you call a well brewed book?

A novel-tea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BedHeadBread
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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Lipton probably saw many different pitchers of its brewed beverages before settling for the one on its iconic package...

They auditioned many before choosing the best model tea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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If Heineken is brewed in Holland...

Does that mean their beer is Hollandaise sauce?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ransidmeat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
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Brewed some beer, and my girlfriend suggested this name
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2017
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A storm brewed near the local operahouse...

The conductor was struck by lightening.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PlasmaRoar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2015
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I'm going to start a brew pub that also offers raisins, nuts and oats.

I'll call it the Granola Bar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/waldo06
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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Brewing beer is like the sun....

It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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I just got fired, and as severance, my company gave me a bag of used coffee.

They said it was grounds for termination.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jvlpdillon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
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A coworker of mine spilled boiling hot coffee on my leg and had the nerve to ask where it hurts

I said decaf.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uhhokanything
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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A spy was killed in his tea

He paid a steep price for what he knew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMarginalFarmCO
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
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A clumsy employee knocked over his boss’s coffee cans and wasted all his coffee.

It was grounds for dismissal!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlickHeadSinger
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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How did Moses make his tea?

He brewed it.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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My son asked me where cold brew was first made

I said Chillicothe

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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Just brew it!

I’m building a website for a new cafe and Coworking space opening in the area. The owner loves humour and wants to reflect that in the site. Does anyone have any great puns or other humorous ideas to do with cafes or working spaces? Thanks a million!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Instinct13now
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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The tea leaves were brewing an unrest...

... and they are now trapped in a kettle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/matthewrmshin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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My coffee maker said some really horrible things about me while it was brewing my coffee.

That’s the last time I have a dark roast.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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I was having an argument with my wife about who should brew the coffee each morning. She said, β€œYOU should do it because YOU get up first and then we won't have to wait as long to get our coffee.”

I went full sexist pig, β€œYOU'RE in charge of cooking around here woman and YOU should do it, because it's YOUR job and I can just wait for my coffee.”

She replied coldly, β€œNo, YOU should do it and besides, it's in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.”

I guffawed, β€œI can’t believe that, show me!”

So she fetched the Bible and opened to the New Testament and showed me the top of several pages, that it indeed says, β€œHEBREWS!”

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2018
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A Jewish man was making tea for a group of his friends

Everyone enjoyed the tea that he brew

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tricky021993
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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Gonna brew and market my own beer, and call it β€œResponsibly.”

Advertising slogan will be a doddle: β€œPlease drink Responsibly.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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This years coffee crop

Due to extreme weather, this years coffee crop will be very difficult to grind. Experts fear there may be trouble brewing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Urwinator
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
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My friend can smell when trouble is brewing...

He's the scenter of a tension.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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I tried a new drink by the Dicken brewing company

I recommend the hot Dicken Cider... It's delicious.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Moses had a little-known trick to making good coffee.

He brewed it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
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I was brewing my first batch of beer with a friend and he told me to add the seed cones that are used primarily as a bittering, flavoring, and stability agents.

I hopped to it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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Why should you insult your coffee beans before brewing them?

To make sure they are well roasted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aggressive_Pear
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
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How does the KKK brew Whiskey?

In a Cracker Barrel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bad11ama
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
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He Brews it
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheShinyLizard
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
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How do Finnish people brew their coffee?

They use a perkele-tor.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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Some advice when buying a type of tea

Assam-ple would be helpful.

I hope not to strain in seeing how this joke brews with the subreddit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
🚨︎ report
A church by where we live has a cafe called He Brews. Pretty funny.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alganay
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
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I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty second pause, I asked, "You still there sweetheart?"

"Yeah…" she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now…"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the secret to great cold brew coffee?

Using a brrrrr grinder

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NewestAckount
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
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A new study is showing surprising advances in primate evolution: Dr. Thomas Ink, a researcher in southern Africa has found certain groups of apes 'brewing' alcohol by leaving old fruit to stand in water pools then drinking from it and becoming inebriated.

Dr. Ink has dubbed these 'Monkey Bars'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pparten
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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There I was this morning, sitting and drinking Coffee in my slippers , and I thought to myself..

..I really need to clean a few mugs around here.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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By buddies and I were drinking beer and cracking jokes, but things started to get out of hand.

It was quite the brew-haha.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shu-di
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I started brewing my own lager called Photon.

It's light beer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?

They have hops.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JPINFV
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2016
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I went into the kitchen and saw a hurricane making a pot of tea

I thought hmm, there's a storm brewing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/northernsou
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Vulture Problems (and apologies to Kansas)

The Prince of the vultures had always been a rebel, but he surprised everyone when he announced he was going to be a vegetarian. And nobody expected this to divide the vulture kingdom, with nearly half the vultures supporting the Prince's choice. Tempers flared, and civil war was brewing when the Prince burst into the King's chambers.

"Father," he cried, "I never meant to cause this. I'll do anything you say to reunite the kingdom. Please, Father, what should I eat?"

The King set a plate of roadkill in front of the Prince, and said "Carrion, my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rjsquirrel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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I have mastered the art of brewing tea

It is now my special-tea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_BlNG_
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2017
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Bud worked with a brewing company.

The company made Bud wiser.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Agent_Ocelot9
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2018
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During what historical period did people start brewing reduced-calorie beer?

The Enlitenment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2017
🚨︎ report
My dad once tried making coffee. When he tasted it he said "ahh, like making love in a canoe."

I asked if it was that good, his smile faded and he looked me dead in the eye as he said no, its fucking close to water. He poured it down the drain without losing focus and walked out of the kitchen

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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Never play hoops with a brew master.

They got hops.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boundarydissolver
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
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Learning how to brew a new kind of tea...

involves a steep learning curve.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoundTrax
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2016
🚨︎ report
Why did people start brewing mead?

To Get buzzed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Big_Ol_Boy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
🚨︎ report
I started writing a review of this new brew pub

but tore it up after my first draft.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Denda
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2013
🚨︎ report
Gabe was muttering incoherently. He'd been up all night studying for the history exam.

I poked my head in his room, and he was blathering about how he wanted to quit school and be a truck driver.

"I'm gonna get one of those big beautiful Peterbuilts, with all the running lights everywhere. Or maybe a Mack with an extended cab..."

"Better brew him a pot of coffee," I told his mother. "The final is in a half hour, and he's only semi-conscious."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cja1968
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report

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