My family branded me as a failure, then I invented an invisibility cloak.
If only they could see me now...
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 08 2020
John Wayne has a low quality toilet paper made branded with his name
It don't take shit from nobody
π︎ 6
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︎ Jul 07 2018
π︎ 12
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︎ Sep 20 2016
What a brand name. Could not resist.
π︎ 121
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
Starbucks should release their own brand of facemasks, they could call them...
π︎ 72
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
what is a singers favourite laptop brand?
a dell
(hope you guys get it)
π︎ 21
π
︎ Dec 03 2020
What did Velveeta call their new line of designer brand cheese?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 03 2020
What brand of chips is slower than Internet Explorer?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 20 2020
Are they allowed to LOL?
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Nov 16 2020
What's a footballer's favourite brand?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 26 2020
I want my brand to become THE dairy alternative for the post truth era.
The people believe in Fake Moos.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 09 2020
Two inventors died and ascended to heaven. There, they met each other and with their brilliant minds created a brand new form of fire making utensil.
It was a match made in heaven.
π︎ 79
π
︎ Sep 12 2020
I got tired trying to think of a good posting title for this one.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Oct 15 2020
Walmartβs onn brand of tv wall mounts.
π︎ 20
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︎ Sep 22 2020
Went to pop a couple anti-inflammatory pills while getting ready for work and wife asks which brand I wanted
I said, βIβm taking Advil before Aleeveβ
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 07 2020
What do you call state-sponsored cereal brands from Algeria?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
Do you know why Aldiβs doesnβt sell its own brand of nuts?
Because itβs would be called Aldiβs Nuts
π︎ 49
π
︎ Jul 31 2020
Los Angeles International Airport should sell their own brand of laxatives called LAXatives.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Aug 06 2020
Whatβs a skeletons favourite brand of bread?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 29 2020
My wife's bra has the brand name "Splendid", embroidered on the band under one of the cups ...
I just took a sharpie and wrote "Also quite nice" under the other one.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 03 2020
What brand of car do young sheep prefer to drive?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 26 2020
Which brand of computer has the best singing voice?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jul 16 2020
What snack cake brand does Michael Jackson eat?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 20 2020
Whatβs a spiderβs favourite brand of cooker (oven)?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 29 2020
Apple just released their brand new round-shaped product
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 27 2020
Most brands of bottled beer is the same as having sex on a boat
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 08 2020
A neighbor who's a hog farmer just showed me his brand new enclosures for his piggies...
I wish he'd stop flaunting his new shoes.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 07 2020
I just installed a brand new Luxe bidet
Iβve been having a blast
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 29 2020
The number-one-selling brand of tea among US police officers is called βTallyβ
π︎ 25
π
︎ Jun 14 2020
I bought my wife and I a set of bargain brand walkie talkies.
She didn't receive it very well
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jul 02 2020
Iβm going to start a brand of rice wine and Iβll call it for fucks.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jul 03 2020
Today I learned that the band Nirvana sold its own brand of gum.
It was called Smells Like Green Spearmint.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Apr 29 2020
Did you hear that Tesla is entering the lifestyle brand market with a new cologne?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 30 2020
I bought my friend a brand new elephant for his room.
He said βThanksβ
I said βDonβt mention itβ.
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 05 2020
I bought some store brand spaghetti
It tasted awful, it was a total im-pasta.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 07 2020
If someone mails you a square can of meat, DON'T open it!
π︎ 257
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︎ Sep 03 2020
I was buying the wife some underwear, I asked the shop assistant;
βAre these knickers satin?"
"Noβ she said, βTheyβre brand new...β
π︎ 21
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
I bought a brand-new top-of-the-line string trimmer of a guy on craigslist for only $20
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 30 2020
What's a guitar player's favourite brand of computer?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 13 2020
There is a certain brand of printer I don't throw away
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 22 2020
Itβs tough to come up with a new brand of bug spray.
You always have to start from scratch.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 06 2020
What is Spiderman's favourite brand of rice?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Feb 18 2020
Last month my doctor told me, "Bob, this is seriously urgent. You really have to start drinking less vodka."
I've been out to at least 40 different bars since then, but no one seems to carry that brand. Anyone know where to find it?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
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