My friend moves on foot with a pompous gait while carrying an airplane wing bracing...

He walks with a strut.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
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My daughter had some rumbly noises going on in her diaper while she was eating her snack today. Afterward I checked her diaper. Bracing myself, I was surprised to find she pulled a Vladimir

There was no poop. She was just Putin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CowboyFromSmell
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2017
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What’s the difference between 2016-2020 America and a set of braces?

There is none, they both promote being white and straight

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pax_flash
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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Brace yourselves; Christmas puns are coming
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nukes_or_aliens
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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Why did the deer get braces?

Because he had buck teeth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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My wife's knees hurt...i tild her she needs knee braces
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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I had a neck brace fitted years ago...

And I've never looked back since

Edit: spelling

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πŸ‘€︎ u/liverpool135
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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Ok brace yourselves for an absolute travesty of a joke, said during bathtime after water got into my daughter's eyes.

I told my wife:

There's the captain water, and the crewmember water. The captain water says: "All right crewmembers, do you know where you have to go?" The crewmember water replies: "Eye eye, sir!"

This earned me a proper facepalm from my wife which I shall wear proudly as a badge of honor and now share here with you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OiTheRolk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
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Brace yourselves

NNN memes incumming

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πŸ‘€︎ u/K_Bhavya
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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My Son asked me if I had any regrets over the really expensive neck brace I bought...

Can honestly say I've never looked back

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πŸ‘€︎ u/carlitos_segway
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
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Due to a spinal injury at work, my Dad had to get a neck brace.

At least now he always looks forward to see me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
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I'm going to tell you what my favourite kind of tea is but brace yourself it's shocking

Electricitea

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
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The doctor said I needed leg braces.

I told him I didn’t think I did. But I stand corrected.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kinkwip
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
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The cops told me my wife got abducted and to brace for the worst

I’m guessing she’s about to come back

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Androgymoose
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
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My logger friend invented a back brace

He calls it a lumbar jack.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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During covid, my orthodontist told my I should tend to my teeth by myself.

β€œHow?” I asked.

He said β€œBrace yourself.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnchartedQuasar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
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Brace yourselves kids!

Our dentist is shutting down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ivosaw
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2018
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Where do killer whales go to get their braces?

The orca-dontist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jo_Fish
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2017
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So, I have to wear a back brace...

I have to wear it because of an unnatural curve in my spine. Whenever I reference it, my dad says "brace yourself" :/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bon7bon2000
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2015
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A dyslexic televangelist had to wear a brace on his leg while on TV. It was a dog and poor knee show.

I'll be here all day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshWithaQ
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2014
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A survivalist cooks ursa meat with women in bikinis who just got their braces off

Bear Grylls grills bear with bare girls with bare grills

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zatch17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2015
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Brace yourselves
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2014
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Fred: Can you tell me about that new do-it-yourself orthodontist?

Ted: Brace yourself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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Desperate patients resorting to DIY dentistry during lockdown

Brace yourself

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DLF6
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
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I have an amazing dentristy related pun for you...

Brace yourselves...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ennis88
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
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I'm just writing a joke about dentists

Brace yourselves

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emu404
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
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My first post... imgur.com/cIhoMys
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yknow_that_guy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2014
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An English cat and a French cat tried to swim across a creek.

The English cat braced herself, and said β€œOne, two, three!”. The cat swam across. The French cat braced herself, and said β€œUn, deux, troisβ€―!” Cat sank.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2016
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My daughter has been worried about her orthodontist appointment all day

She tried to brace herself but just couldn’t, so we had the orthodontist do it.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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During my appointment, the dentist began to collapse

So I thought to myself, "Ok, brace yourself".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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Orthodontists are going on strike

Orthodontists are going on strike.

Brace yourselves!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stefano9
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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A guy I know tore his ACL and this is how he told everyone on Facebook

While this news undoubtedly sucks, I'm trying to take it in stride and em-brace it nonetheless! The recovery will give me the opportunitknee to improve my skills as a sideline player and some extra downtime to expand my abilities in programming and graphic design. I plan to continue at-tendon practices and other events as normal though! So many teammates, past and present, have already been incredibly supportive and reached out to help me; its certainly been a joint effort, and I can't thank you all enough for that. In hindsight, I wouldn't change akneething about attending USA U24 tryouts as tenacity, perserverance, and sacrifice are often the names of the game in pursuit of distant dreams. Ultimately, I guess some things are just liga-meant to be!

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2017
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[x-post /r/Jokes] [OC] An old blacksmith was working in his shop...

when there was a terrible accident. The fire in his forge had gone out of control and set fire to the shop. The blacksmith nearly lost his life. He was bedridden for many months and relied on the help of his children and grandchildren to feed him, bathe him, and take care of all of his needs. Eventually he was able to get back on his feet, though his outlook on life had turned quite grim. He was now able to take care of himself, but he had lost much of his strength and dexterity from the injuries he sustained and he was unable to practice his trade. He fell into a deep depression and he spent most of his days sitting at home in front of the fireplace gazing into the flames, longing for the days when his strong hands could grasp a hammer and strike a hot piece of iron, slowly forging it into a beautiful piece of work.

One evening when the old man was sitting in front of the fire, he heard a knock at the door. It was his granddaughter, whom he hadn't seen in many months. She had overheard her father talking to her mother about how her grandfather was slowly slipping away into depression and hopelessness and she wanted to help. To the old man's surprise, she had brought him a puppy. "I thought that since you're always here all by yourself that you might want someone you keep you company," the granddaughter said. The old man's eyes welled up with tears and the little puppy instantly jumped into his arms and began licking the tears from his face. The old man and his granddaughter spent the next several hours sitting on the floor of his house watching the puppy chase around a rubber ball, bouncing, jumping, panting, and licking. In that short time, the old man had made complete turnaround from being sad, lonely, and hopeless, to smiling from ear to ear, full of joy with his new-found companion. As the hours grew late and the puppy grew tired, the granddaughter said "Well Opa, I'm glad you like your puppy, but it's late and I should be heading home. By the way, what are you going to call him?" "Life," said the old man, "because he has given me a new meaning and joy to mine." The granddaughter kissed her grandfather on the cheek, wished him goodnight, and she left.

Many years passed and all the while, the old man and his little dog were inseparable. Everywhere the old man went, Life was always with him whether it was the post office, the grocery store, and even when the old man went to the barber shop, the little dog would sit patiently until the last hair on

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyOtherAccount_3
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2016
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I am scared about going to the dentist knowing how expencive it can be

I just have to brace myself and get it over with.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Knerteren
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2015
🚨︎ report
I need help with coming up with a homecoming proposal.

The girl I want to ask to homecoming is in a dentistry program and I want to make a poster board with some cheesy puns on it to ask her, but I can't think of anything past "Brace yourself with homecoming."

Any ideas?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PalatinusRex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2015
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My wife asked me if I wanted any joint gifts this year.

I said yes. A knee brace.
She didn't get it at first. It took her a splint second.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/schwano
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2015
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i had a neck brace fitted years ago...

i have never looked back

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ri0tt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the deer need braces?

He had buck teeth.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkabrah2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2017
🚨︎ report
I had a neck brace fitted three years ago.

I haven’t looked back since.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/waddoheck
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a neck brace fitted years ago.

I’ve never looked back since!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeepMeepMcMeep
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the deer need braces?

He had buck teeth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkabrah2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2017
🚨︎ report
Brace yourselves
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2014
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DENTISTS ARE ON STRIKE!

Brace yourself!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrVilborg
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report

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