What did George Washington say to his reinforcements?

You musket down here

👍︎ 11
📅︎ Sep 08 2020
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Not cool Dad...not cool

So my dad's telling my relatives the story of how my mom was in labor for 12 hours so they named me 'Laura' which if you say it in Vietnamese accent it's 'Lau-ra' which means "Long time to come out"...


👍︎ 65
👤︎ u/stneutron
📅︎ Dec 26 2020
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I love materials used with cement to create reinforced concrete.

They're simply aggregreat.

👍︎ 5
👤︎ u/flameoguy
📅︎ Jan 18 2017
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Eye rolls and reinforcing science education.

My son commented on a sign that said "Lavatory" instead of "Restroom".

I said "So, if a Lavatory is underground, does that make is a Magmatory?"

Eyerolls from the boy, but my wife laughed, so I got that going for me.

👍︎ 8
📅︎ Apr 04 2016
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My daughter was acting up so I stuck one end of a piece if wire in the ground and told her to hold the other end.

Now she's grounded.

👍︎ 33
👤︎ u/brophyg4
📅︎ Jan 21 2019
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What do you call a battalion of gurus?

Positive Reinforcements

👍︎ 7
👤︎ u/Nimja_
📅︎ Oct 21 2016
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A rhinoceros wakes to find itself in a room with no doors or windows.

All four walls of the room are made of hollow cinder block, but three of the four walls are reinforced with rebar and cement filling rendering them unbreakable.

Utterly confused, the rhinoceros studies the room for a moment and then tries ramming into the first wall to get itself free, but is stunned to find that it won't budge because it is reinforced and completely solid.

The rhinoceros shakes it off and tries ramming the second wall to knock it down, but only managed to break off a few small crumbs because it, too, is reinforced.

In a total daze, the rhinoceros tries ramming the third wall, but then falls over unconscious from trying to ram yet another reinforced wall.

After a few minutes, the rhinoceros regains consciousness and slowly pulls to its feet. Both exhausted and completely unable to withstand ramming another reinforced wall, the poor rhinoceros sinks its head in failure and has all but given up hope.

...but then, with a sudden stroke of genius, the rhinoceros stands on it's hind legs, clears its throat, and asks you, the reader,

"Should I try breaking the fourth wall?"

👍︎ 16
📅︎ Jan 06 2016
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